(no subject)
Jealousy is not a healthy emotion. I SHOULD be glad that my close friends have others to turn to, and talk to. Confide in. Laugh with.
But I can't! I don't know why! I've always been wary of my friend's friends. I'm a selfish person. Boyfriends, sure! I want them to be happy! But friends threaten me and take people away from me. I'm like a spider trapping my prey in a web. Or Miss Havisham sitting in my wedding dress scaring the shit outta Pip.
I know that I have a deep deep desire to please others. I know that I love my friends deeply and attach to them strongly.I know I have a fear of being left behind. I can't help but feel resentful of the other person who is 'taking them away from me.' Jealousy affects me in other ways too, but this is mainly how it affects my friendships.
In short, I'm sorry if my jealousy has ever negatively affected our friendship. I'm trying to be a better person everyday.
The real question is, how do I raise Sebastian so he doesn't get as screwed up as me.
But I can't! I don't know why! I've always been wary of my friend's friends. I'm a selfish person. Boyfriends, sure! I want them to be happy! But friends threaten me and take people away from me. I'm like a spider trapping my prey in a web. Or Miss Havisham sitting in my wedding dress scaring the shit outta Pip.
I know that I have a deep deep desire to please others. I know that I love my friends deeply and attach to them strongly.I know I have a fear of being left behind. I can't help but feel resentful of the other person who is 'taking them away from me.' Jealousy affects me in other ways too, but this is mainly how it affects my friendships.
In short, I'm sorry if my jealousy has ever negatively affected our friendship. I'm trying to be a better person everyday.
The real question is, how do I raise Sebastian so he doesn't get as screwed up as me.