Journal Excerpt #3: Let's do this!
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
10:02 PM
Today is the first day of school... Let me tell you one thing: I was seriously overwhelmed.
First of all, I now understand why they ask international students to take English placement exams before school starts. I believe it's one way for the school to make sure that we'll be able to communicate well and interact with other students both in and out of class. (And with the professors too, I think.)
Second, there was a lot of people! I seriously forgot that the students that I saw during orientation were just the new students. I was honestly surprised to see a lot of people walking around trying to get to class on time.
Third, I made a friend and if I can remember it correctly, he's from China, and he's 24 years old. I didn't expect to make any friends today, not even one, so I'm really glad that I did. I got a "See you tomorrow!" said to me and it feels nice to say it back to someone. Oh, let me add that the first person that I thought of when I saw him was Fred. I don't know why. Hehehe!
Fourth, I can access the library online! In addition to that, I can view if the book I wanted to borrow is on hold, in the stacks, or reserved. I don't think I actually need to be in the library to check a book. And, if I borrow a book, I can also check the due date and the amount that I owe (overdue) online! Hehehe... I'm still trying to digest the fact that my photo ID is also my library card and they use bar codes to check out books. Hehehe!
Fifth, "insert code name here". As I type this, I'm hoping that you will never, ever, in your lifetime stumble upon my blog or I will surely die of embarrassment. He walked in, sat beside me, totally paid attention to class, then smiled back at me after class when we were fixing our things on our table. HE ACTUALLY SMILED BACK AT ME! Ah, crushes -- cute, funny feelings. :)
Last, in addition to feeling overwhelmed, I also felt intimidated. There are a lot of people who have expectations from me and I don't want to disappoint them... I don't know why, but I always compare myself to other people and always assume that they're a lot better than me... Always... It feels like I don't even believe in myself. The sad thing is, I actually have to prove to myself that I can be better than them. I have to somehow beat them in order for me to start believing in what I can do. I don't think it should be like that. I really hope that I don't disappoint people, and keep up with everything.
This school year is going to be great. It has to be. :)
First of all, I now understand why they ask international students to take English placement exams before school starts. I believe it's one way for the school to make sure that we'll be able to communicate well and interact with other students both in and out of class. (And with the professors too, I think.)
Second, there was a lot of people! I seriously forgot that the students that I saw during orientation were just the new students. I was honestly surprised to see a lot of people walking around trying to get to class on time.
Third, I made a friend and if I can remember it correctly, he's from China, and he's 24 years old. I didn't expect to make any friends today, not even one, so I'm really glad that I did. I got a "See you tomorrow!" said to me and it feels nice to say it back to someone. Oh, let me add that the first person that I thought of when I saw him was Fred. I don't know why. Hehehe!
Fourth, I can access the library online! In addition to that, I can view if the book I wanted to borrow is on hold, in the stacks, or reserved. I don't think I actually need to be in the library to check a book. And, if I borrow a book, I can also check the due date and the amount that I owe (overdue) online! Hehehe... I'm still trying to digest the fact that my photo ID is also my library card and they use bar codes to check out books. Hehehe!
Fifth, "insert code name here". As I type this, I'm hoping that you will never, ever, in your lifetime stumble upon my blog or I will surely die of embarrassment. He walked in, sat beside me, totally paid attention to class, then smiled back at me after class when we were fixing our things on our table. HE ACTUALLY SMILED BACK AT ME! Ah, crushes -- cute, funny feelings. :)
Last, in addition to feeling overwhelmed, I also felt intimidated. There are a lot of people who have expectations from me and I don't want to disappoint them... I don't know why, but I always compare myself to other people and always assume that they're a lot better than me... Always... It feels like I don't even believe in myself. The sad thing is, I actually have to prove to myself that I can be better than them. I have to somehow beat them in order for me to start believing in what I can do. I don't think it should be like that. I really hope that I don't disappoint people, and keep up with everything.
This school year is going to be great. It has to be. :)