Going Under.
Title: Going under
Characters: Charlie, Jack
Genre: Angst
Summary: Charlie's thoughts after Locke hits him in Fire & water. No one really knows how much it broke Charlie, but they will soon find out.
Warnings: Attempted suricide, angst and Jarlie slash in later chapters.
Status: Incomplete.
I can feel their eyes boring into me as my hand sink slowly into the soaked sand. I didn’t look up, I remained silent and waited. Then one by one they turned and went, even Kate had turned her back on me. No wonder, they all think I’ve lost it. I might as well have. I watched for a while as the others all disappeared into there tents and shelters, slowly retiring for the day.
The sting across my face was all to fresh, but the sting in my heart felt worse. I had betrayed Claire. But Aaron was in danger, I was sure of it, yet no one will believe me, they all just turn their backs to me. I can’t be bothered to get up, even as the sea begins to lap up to my jeans soaking them I don’t get up. Why should I, no one cares, I might as well curl up and die. Locke had no right, I knew I would get a lecture or something but I wasn’t bloody expecting that. I couldn’t be bothered any more, what was the point in this. Everyone I had come to know and love over the past month had turned their back on me. I wasn’t a junkie, not anymore. I decided to eventually retire to my tent and laid down on my bed. I didn’t want to sleep, every time I closed my eyes the dreams would come. So I stayed awake until dawn, until people began to get up and I could hear movement and voices down the beach. I didn’t want to look out, for all that would happen is that eyes would be on me. I think even if I curled up in here and died no one would care. It would just be one more sodding ex druggie, ex rock star dead. Maybe I should have died back when Ethan hung me. All I could think about now was Claire, and that she would trust me anymore. Anyway, why should she care about me anymore, she’s got Locke now. There was something about that man that I didn’t trust but I couldn’t place my finger on it. One minute he wants to help me, the next he’s punching me and taking Claire away from me. Maybe that's all he wanted all along, Claire.
I rolled over onto my side and stopped. A large piece of shiny metal was staring at me in the face. I laughed. It was one of Locke’s knifes, he had lent it to me ages ago but I had never given it back.
I slowly picked it up, marvelling at the shine of it. I ran my finger down the edge and it sliced neatly into my finger. For a second it hurt but then I felt relived, I sudden release. Whatever happened to me I deserved. I laughed again slightly, maybe what I thought about earlier should happen. Maybe I should die. I turned my wrist to me and placed the knife on it, I could feel the coldness of the steal. Then I dragged the knife across, applying a large amount of pressure. My body felt light again, just like it did when I had just had a shot of heroin. I took the knife with the other had and did the same to the other wrist. I felt better now, I didn’t care if I died. I looked closely at both wrists and watched as the blood flowed down and onto the sand. I smiled. No one will find me till later. My head suddenly felt light and airy. What a wonderful feeling I thought. I laid slowly back down and closed my eyes. I could feel the warm red substance pooling around me as I began to lose consciousness and the sound of the sea began to fade into the distance.
"Charlie?" I could hear my voice being called, "no" Was someone shouting at me or was it a dream, I couldn’t tell. Oh well, someone will find me later.
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"Charlie?" Jack look hesitantly into the tent and froze at the sight which met his eyes. "no" he shouted falling to his knees at Charlie’s side. He grabbed his wrists in haste and held them up. Grabbing one of Charlie’s shirt from nearby he wrapped one wrist in it and then the other. "Don’t do this to me Charlie" Jack tied two large bits of fabric around Charlie’s arms as a tourniquet and lifted him off the ground. He had to get him back to the hatch sharpish, Jack could see he had lost a lot of blood. He had no time to loose.
"Kate?" Jack shouted as he passed her tent quickly. Kate looked up to see Jack in front of her. Charlie was lying limp and unconscious in his arms.
"What happened?" she stood up quickly.
"Never mind?" cried Jack, "I need your help?" Kate nodded in sudden agreement. She knew Jack was deadly serious. "I can’t make it all the way to the hatch with him like this, I need you to fetch bandages and dressing and a needle and thread"
"Ok" Kate turned her back on Jack and entered the jungle heading towards the hatch.
Jack placed Charlie slowly down onto the soft sand. His skin was sickly pale, what has the boy done to himself Jack thought. The doctor looked around to find that many people where staring at him and whispering among themselves.
"What do you want?" Jack shouted angrily. People suddenly looked away and disappeared back into tents and carried on with what they were doing. Jack looked back at Charlie. His eyes twitched and he seemed to be regaining consciousness. "Charlie?" Jack bent over him, watching him closely. "Charlie talk to me" Charlie’s eyes shot open, Jack could see the confused angry look in them. He lifted his arm to push Jack away but placed it down when he realised he could hardly feel them.
"Charlie?" Jack tried to gain his attention but seemed to fail, Charlie seemed to drift in and out of consciousness. Jack sat back for a second, he couldn’t do anything until Kate got back. He watched Charlie closely and intently. Minutes passed by and Jack was becoming impatient, were the hell was Kate?
Suddenly Kate burst through the brushes almost tripping over Jack and Charlie. She was breathing heavily from running, she handed Jack a small bag.
"Thanks" Jack smiled quickly and emptied the contents of the bag out on the sand and sorted it. "Water?" he asked quickly. Kate suddenly handed him a large bottle filled to the brim. "Thanks" he said again setting to work on Charlie. Jack unwrapped one of the makeshift bandages, it was already soaked in blood. He grabbed the water and a towel and cleaned the wound, he was anxious about the loss of blood as the wound kept bleeding. The doctor grabbed his needle and thread and quickly set to stitching it. "Anything I can do?" Kate could hardly watch as Jack continued to stitch. "Yes" Jack said, not looking up from work. "Go to Charlie’s tent, take the knife which is in there back to Locke, then try and make a bed so I can take him back there in a while"
Kate acknowledged and set to her errand. Jack shook his head again, he couldn’t believe he had missed all this. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t read the signs with Charlie earlier. He stitched and dressed both of his wrists and sat back, almost tired from the procedure. Jack didn’t like the colour of Charlie’s skin. It was pale and death like, his fingertips seemed tinged blue, he made no movement and sound. For a second Jack thought the worst but Charlie took a deep breath and twitched.
"Why?" Jack looked at his patient’s unconscious form, "why Charlie, of all the things"
"You don’t know me" Charlie’s voice came as a small whisper. Jack stared at his face, his eyes were still tightly closed.
"What?" cried Jack leaning next to him.
"I said you don’t know me Jack" Charlie tried to speak louder but his voice just seemed to break through the sentence. "You don’t understand me"
Jack’s brown furrowed in thought, there was something about the boy that was different. He had known about the virgin Mary statues, but Charlie wasn’t high, there was something about him that made him fearful of his safety, though he couldn’t place his finger on it. The bright eyed, happy Charlie he had known seemed to have disappeared, this Charlie was different; depressed, frustrated maybe. Jack couldn‘t make it out.
Jack sat for many minutes waiting for Kate’s return. Many people passed and stared, whispering among themselves. This angered Jack terribly, he had heard that Charlie was not the top of everyone’s list but he didn’t realise it was this bad. The fact that the rock star had moved his tent several yards up the beach away from the rest of the camp worried him, and the fact that no one seemed to care worried him more. "Jack" Kate came up from down the beach, she stopped next to him. The doctor looked up. "I’ll take the knife back later" she patted the blade which was wedged under her belt. "Charlie’s tent is a mess and the bed is soaked in blood, put him in my tent"
"Ok" Jack said solemnly, he picked Charlie up slowly and took him into the tent nearby and placed him on the soft blankets. Charlie opened his eyes slowly but remained silent while Jack covered him in blankets.
"Do you want a drink?" Jack asked gently, seeing Charlie’s eyes were open and he was awake.
"Charlie?" Jack asked again when he got no response. Charlie just stared ahead, not even at Jack, just into nothing. The doctor moved into his eye line to get attention and Charlie moved his head to the side and stared at the sand. Jack sighed and got up, following Kate slowly out of the tent.
"Is he alright" Kate sounded concerned. Jack glanced back at the tent and then to Kate.
"No, I don’t think he’s alright" Jack shook his head, "What exactly has been going on recently?" He pried.
"Charlie’s been having somedreams" Kate said, Jack’s face fell in an instant, "he kidnapped Aaron and Locke punched him for worrying Claire. Jack he’s been sleep walking"
Jack looked back to the tent in deep thought. He was not wrong, there was something about the boy, and Jack was deeply worried. He looked back at Kate.
"We need to keep an eye on him" he said seriously, "I don’t want to let him out of my sight"
"Charlie?" Jack shook the boys shoulders gently, noon had been and gone and Charlie had not woken since his strange behaviour. Word had already spread though camp of Charlie’s actions but no one had officially told Claire.
"Charlie?" Jack shook the rock star again and he moaned softly and opened his eyes to find Jack face to face with him
.
"Get away!" Charlie screamed in a funny high pitched voice, causing Jack to jump out of his skin at the sound. Charlie’s eyes seemed wild and heedless to weather it was the doctor or not.
"Charlie calm down" Jack lowered the tone of his voice.
"I know what your trying to do" the ex - junkie spat back in anger, "Your trying to convince me I’m going mad, Aaron’s in danger and you know it, and everyone thinks I’m using because of those bloody virgin Mary statues..."
"Calm down" Jack sounded firm this time, he had no idea what had gone on with his friend in the past few weeks, he had totally lost track of what was really going on on the island, too wound up in the Others and the Hatch. "Just have a drink, your probably dehydrated, you need to rest" Jack opened a bottle and offered it to his patient.
"Don’t tell me what to do" Charlie’s voice grew more anger stricken, his hand flew to the bottle sending it out of Jacks hand and to the sand spilling it contents. "And don’t try and drug me either, I know your tricks" Jack backed off slightly beginning to worry for his own safety as well as Charlie’s. He held his hands out in front of him in surrender, he stood up concern spreading across his face.
"Just leave me" Charlie shouted again. Jack backed up and out of the door still keeping a close eye on his friend. Charlie stood quickly, a little too quickly for himself as his head began to spin a little, Jack glanced at him in pity, what was wrong with him?
"I don’t think you should be getting up" Jack expressed his concern again.
"I don’t care what you think" Charlie tried to push pasted the doctor but Jack stood in his way. "move" Jack stood his ground in the way of the musician, but Charlie pushed him back, the doctor was surprised the amount of energy the boy still had in his system after what had happened.
"Charlie?" Jack followed him as he stormed down the beach toward his own tent stumbling a little as he went, survivors stood and watched him as he went. "What are you doing" Jack shouted to him, beginning to loose his patience.
"To get high" Charlie laughed to himself. Jack stopped for a second, this was no what he was expecting to hear. Charlie sped on reaching his tent he rummaged though his bloodstained belongings and grabbed a rucksack. He smiled as he found what he was looking for. A perfect bundle of baggies filled with heroin. He laughed to himself and placed them into the bag and placed it on his back standing up to find Jack in the doorway.
"Charlie?" Jacks face was now so anxious and worried, he had just seen what the rock star had placed in his bag. "What are you doing"
Charlie pushed past him quickly like before but with more determination this time. "Stop" Jack ran after him, a crowd had now began to gather as the pairs voices where raised in anger and frustration.
Charlie grabbed a flaming branch from a nearby fire and held it up in front of Jack. "I told you" Charlie’s voice went up a tone, "I’m going to get high, if no one believes I’m clean I might as well, and besides, who gives a bloody damn about me"
"I do" Jack shouted back it him, "Please Charlie this is not the way to prove you point, just sit down and we can talk"
"No" Charlie leaned forward "I’m going, and I tell you now" his voiced lowered, "If you come after me, I’ll kill you." And with that Charlie turned and ran at as fast a speed as he could into the deep jungle.
Jack paid no heed to Charlie suggestion, seeing that his friend was totally out of it he didn’t think he knew what he was saying. He ran after him soon beginning to catch him up, he was almost on his heels when Charlie turned to face him.
"I warned you!" Charlie’s maddened look met Jack’s, he swung the flaming branch up and struck Jack around the head. Before the doctor knew it he was on the floor.
"Don’t follow me" Jack heard faintly as his eyes didn’t focus, he saw Charlie’s blurry form disappear into the undergrowth, his head pounded and he finally lost consciousness letting himself fall into the blackness of his mind.
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Charlie spedon, paying little attention to where he was going or what he had just done. He delved deeper into the jungle and further from the beach, finally finding that his legs were tired he stopped in a small clearing he let his legs go and fell to his knees. He didn’t care where he was, he only hoped no one would find him. Locke was the only one with tracking skills and he was not about to go out looking for him was he.
Charlie set his bag out in front of himself and opened it, waiting for a second he marvelled at his stash in wondered, he counted the baggies, 8 in total. Picking one out opening it slowly as his hands began to shake in anticipation for the drug. He spilled almost all of the contents of the bag onto his palm. Even the sense of the drug calmed him slightly. He placed his nose close to the powder and snorted the contents of his hand, waiting for the rush to hit his system, he lay back on the nearest tree as it took its toll on his body. Breathing in a huge gulp of air he sighed loudly, letting the opiate suppress his confused mind, finally able to forget about everything.
"Your a fool Charlie boy" he laughed to himself in utter bliss with himself, "such a fool" he sighed loudly again, taking a second bag he emptied half the contents onto his palm. He stared at it for a moment, although his vision seemed clouded by a drug induced mist. He placed the powder again close to his nose, blocking one nostril his snorted up the other, and waited for a second. As the drug took over he felt his breathing and heart rate slow dramatically. Charlie slid down the tree and found himself in a floppy heap on the floor, he closed his eyes thinking of his past memories of Driveshaft and his childhood. His limbs twitched slightly as he lay there in ecstasy, finally he closed his eyes completely letting the heroin run through his veins and take over, he only hoped no one would find him.
"Jack stop" Kate found herself running after the doctor who was now trudging quickly through the jungle, "Jack you were unconscious for over 10 minutes, you need to sit down"
"Don’t tell me what I need to do" Jack shouted back without the slightest ounce of remorse.
"Charlie’s gone" Kate cried, trying to slow him down, "We can’t do anything"
Jack’s face contorted in anger at her comment and he chose to ignore it, he knew the consequences of not watching Charlie now, feeling that his suicide attempt was down to his careless thinking he was not about to let anything else happen to him. Jack hurried on with Kate in close pursuit, it wasn’t above 5 minutes when he stumbled into a clearing to find what he was looking for. Charlie was lying by a tree, his eyes closed and a small smile on his face, his hands twitched slightly completely oblivious to Jack and Kate’s presents.
"Charlie?" Jack dropped to his knees by the rock star, he had already noticed the empty baggies by him, this was not what Jack was hoping for. He opened one of Charlie’s eyes to find his pupils dilated, it was what Jack had only expected, an overdose. "Charlie" she shouted in his ear, shaking his shoulders violently, Charlie moaned weakly and shivered but didn’t open his eyes.
"What’s wrong with him?" Kate was unsure of what to do.
"He’s overdosed, I need you to go back to the beach and get help" Jack sighed. Kate turned quickly to run only to find herself collide with another figure behind her.
"Hey there missy, why in such a hurry" Kate shrieked, only to find a set of hands grab her to silence her. Jack turned to find the scene unfold.
"Zeke" Jack’s voice stuttered and he stood quickly seeing Kate in his grasp. "What do you want?" Jack moved towards him.
"Chill doc, no one will get hurt if you do as I say" Jack stood still, eyes glaring at the bearded man before him.
"All we want is the baby" Zeke said coolly, the doctor was frozen on the spot unsure of what to say. "Seems your friend Charlie here, knew what he was talking about" Zeke laughed, "Shame no one believed him"
"And what if we don’t give you Aaron" Jack shouted in response.
"Then she won’t live for a start, neither will he" Zeke beckoned to Charlie’s form, "and half your camp won’t be here tomorrow"
"How do I know you won’t kill them anyway" Jack’s voice lowered, "and how do I know that you won’t take Kate and Charlie, I could just run back to camp now and get a group together"
"Oh really" Zeke sounded bored with Jacks banter, he clicked his figures. Within a flash there was a circle of others around them, rifles held at the ready. Jack looked around him, he scowled from one to the other.
"No tricks Jack" Zeke said "you know the score" she released Kate and she fell into Jack’s arms in front of her.
"So who will it be to get the baby?" Zeke smiled, "You or her?" "I’ll go" Jack cried, Kate stood back from him looking down at Charlie’s unconscious form.
"No" she whispered "Charlie needs you" her eyes welled with tears, "no one believed him." Jack looked back at Charlie as he twitched and moaned again, he seemed lost in his own mind, he was unaware of the scene laid out before him. Unaware that he was right all along and that Aaron really was in danger.
"Ok" Jack nodded weakly as Kate winked at him, "just hurry" "I’m going" Kate turned to Zeke. Zeke smiled and beckoned toward the beach, "Don’t be long" he laughed. Kate walked slowly in the direction and the Others let her walk past.
"Tie them up" Zeke cried as soon as Kate had disappeared from view. "No" Jack struggled as three others grabbed him from behind and pulled him to a tree pulling his hands around it and binding them together tightly. Jack saw as two others pulled Charlie’s limp form upright and did the same.
"Do you really think this is necessary" Jack cried bitterly.
"I don’t trust you" Zeke answered as a gag was tied around the doctors mouth, Jack could taste the bitter musty earth of it, he was pleased however that they didn’t gag Charlie as well. Jack wished he could tend to him, his head hung loosely in front of him, his skin looked pale and clammy, he was showing all the classic signs of an overdose. Jack didn’t know weather he would hold out long enough before Kate returned, he hoped she had a plan of some sort, he was not about to just give in.
"I need to look after him" Jack tried to talk through the gag but failed to form any decent words, he looked to Charlie’s form, his body was jerking, he was trying to be sick. Jack pulled at his bonds utterly helpless. He shouted through his gag and Zeke laughed.
"I wouldn’t bother" he said.
Jack watched helplessly as Charlie’s body heaved violently, he was too weak to move and most of his stomach contents ended up on his clothes rather than the jungle floor. The doctor could see that his body was shaking in a shock like state.
"Hold on Charlie" Jack’s eyes remained on his friend at all times, "help is on the way" he crossed his fingers behind his back, he hoped Kate wouldn’t be long.
Jack’s eyes shot open, he must have fallen asleep, or was he knocked out, he couldn’t tell, then he remembered Charlie had knocked him out originally. The doctor looked up to see Zeke sat in front of him, a smile on his face, Jack wished he could break his bonds right now and give him a damn good beating but that was not about to happen. He turned his head to the side to see Charlie still slumped out of reach, he was mumbling and shaking, a layer of cold sweat covered his pale skin, Jack knew that if he survived the next thing facing him would be withdrawal. Jack exhaled loudly and turned back to look at Zeke who was staring at him, he didn’t know how long it had been since Kate had gone but he sure hoped it would be soon. A time passed and the only sound to be heard was Charlie’s slow and uneven breaths.
Suddenly there was another a sound, the bushes moved and someone cried out, one of the others fell, and then another, suddenly there was a shot and Zeke fell forward, the others scattered, some dropping there rifles. This didn’t make sense, the Others were not like this, they wouldn’t just give up, but seemingly they were. Three figures appeared from the jungle, guns in hand. It was Kate, Sawyer and Sayid and Locke looked to be close behind, a bloodstained knife in his steady hand.
"No one move!" Kate ordered to the remaining others, "put your weapons on the floor and stay were you are" All but two did as they were ordered, the two remained with there rifles pointed at Kate and Sawyer. Two shots were fired and they fell, Sayid hand remained steady, the gun in it smoked slightly. The Others then turned to run, two fell as guns fired, the other kept going until he found one of Locke’s knife’s embedded in his back, he shrieked out in pain and fell forward.
Sawyer turned his back on the action and looked to Zeke, turning him over to revile his deathly, now bloodstained face.
"That was for shooting me, you son of a bitch" Sawyer kicked him and laughed, "No one messes with Mr Sawyer"
Kate’s face remained emotionless as she went to Jack undoing his bonds.
"Thanks but how?" Jack looked confused as he moved quickly to the next tree to see Charlie.
"Never mind" Kate said, placing her gun under her belt, "It doesn’t matter, your ok now" Sayid released Charlie’s bonds and stood watching as Jack let his shaking form lay on the floor gently. Jack patted his face and called his name, but Charlie didn’t respond.
"Why are you bothering Jack" Locke sounded annoyed by the attention Jack was giving Charlie. "He deserves everything he gets"
"Just shut up John" Jack’s eyes welled with tears, "For your information he was right in telling us that Aaron was in danger"
"So he tried to drown the kid instead" Sawyer added, Jack was fuming at this, he turned to look at the 4 of them, his face red with anger.
"Go back to the camp" he said through gritted teeth, he was trying his best to control himself.
"Very well" Locke turned his back and began to leave as so did Sawyer.
"But" Kate hesitated for a second.
"Come on freckles" Sawyer motioned to her to follow, "Nothing to see here" Kate turned and followed the other two, she looked back a couple of times.
"Here" Sayid bent down next to Jack, placing a rucksack down next to him, "I heard and I thought you might need some supplies. "Do you want me to stay"
"No" sighed Jack, "there’s not much you can do" the soldier stood up and began to leave in silence.
"Sayid?" Jack turned to him quickly, "Thanks" he cried.
"Not a problem" Sayid said without turning back to look, "all part of the service"
Jack smiled at his politeness, at least he hadn’t lost faith in everyone, there was a little hope left. He couldn’t really believe that these people could be so easily overturned, it made him nervous, he had one of two choices to now make. He could either try to make it back to camp with the risk of making Charlie worse or he could stick it out here, build a fire and help Charlie face the worst of it. Jack sure didn’t want to stay here, not while the dead bodies of the Others remained nearby.
"Come on Charlie?" Jack said lightly, he didn’t want to move the boy, but it would put Jack’s mind at ease at least if there were a mile or so away from the scene.
"I can carry you for a while" he stuffed Charlie’s rucksack in the other and placed it on his back. "I promise we won’t go far" Jack scooped Charlie’s fragile figure up gently so his head was resting softly on his chest. The first thing that struck him was how light his friend was and then how little response he go from him, all but a small weak groan. Jack only hoped that if the short journey was bumpy it would jolt Charlie back into consciousness.
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Charlie’s head swam with a million thoughts, he could feel his body bouncing around in an unsteady state. His head felt dizzy and Charlie thought for a second if he was back home after having too much to drink, yet after opening his eyes to see the jungle canopy rushing by it all came back. ‘Am I dead yet?’ Charlie’s mind was jumbled, he knew he had taken heroin, but when, where and to what amount he couldn’t remember, it was all too blurry. The only thing that caught he thoughts now was what had happened, and who was carrying him. The junkie could feel his head rested on his bearers chest, his ear pressed up against it so that he could hear every skipping heartbeat.
"What?" Charlie tried to open his eyes more, only to find the sunlight too bright for his already aching eyes. He mumbled weakly.
"It’s ok?" the rock star heard a voice answer, he felt the chest vibrate slightly as it spoke back. "We’re nearly there Charlie, just stay still for a moment or two longer"
"Jack?" suddenly he placed a name to the voice. He strained up to try and see the doctor above him, but failed. Instead he watched intently as the canopy above him glided past, bushes and branches passing quickly, Charlie’s head suddenly felt dizzy, his stomach began to turn.
"Gunna be sick" Charlie blurted weakly, he twitched weakly in Jack’s arms.
"OK, ok" Jack’s pace quickened, jolting the boys body more, the nausea beginning to worsen with every step.
"Jack?" Charlie tried to speak as he tried to turn sideways to be sick, Jack’s arms lowered immediately and Charlie found the soft earth under himself. He tried to vomit weakly, finding little in his stomach, he lied back, sweat covering his forehead.
"Charlie?" Jack’s face was close to his friends, "Charlie, stay awake, we’re here now" Jack took the musician from under his arms and pulled him into a sitting position. "here" he almost forced a bottle of water into Charlie’s mouth. His patient coughed, accepting a little of the fluid. Jack put a hand on Charlie’s forehead, firstly feeling the cold sweat then the burning temperature of his skin.
"You have a fever" Jack sighed quietly to himself, he knew there was going to be a long night ahead of the two of them.
Characters: Charlie, Jack
Genre: Angst
Summary: Charlie's thoughts after Locke hits him in Fire & water. No one really knows how much it broke Charlie, but they will soon find out.
Warnings: Attempted suricide, angst and Jarlie slash in later chapters.
Status: Incomplete.
I can feel their eyes boring into me as my hand sink slowly into the soaked sand. I didn’t look up, I remained silent and waited. Then one by one they turned and went, even Kate had turned her back on me. No wonder, they all think I’ve lost it. I might as well have. I watched for a while as the others all disappeared into there tents and shelters, slowly retiring for the day.
The sting across my face was all to fresh, but the sting in my heart felt worse. I had betrayed Claire. But Aaron was in danger, I was sure of it, yet no one will believe me, they all just turn their backs to me. I can’t be bothered to get up, even as the sea begins to lap up to my jeans soaking them I don’t get up. Why should I, no one cares, I might as well curl up and die. Locke had no right, I knew I would get a lecture or something but I wasn’t bloody expecting that. I couldn’t be bothered any more, what was the point in this. Everyone I had come to know and love over the past month had turned their back on me. I wasn’t a junkie, not anymore. I decided to eventually retire to my tent and laid down on my bed. I didn’t want to sleep, every time I closed my eyes the dreams would come. So I stayed awake until dawn, until people began to get up and I could hear movement and voices down the beach. I didn’t want to look out, for all that would happen is that eyes would be on me. I think even if I curled up in here and died no one would care. It would just be one more sodding ex druggie, ex rock star dead. Maybe I should have died back when Ethan hung me. All I could think about now was Claire, and that she would trust me anymore. Anyway, why should she care about me anymore, she’s got Locke now. There was something about that man that I didn’t trust but I couldn’t place my finger on it. One minute he wants to help me, the next he’s punching me and taking Claire away from me. Maybe that's all he wanted all along, Claire.
I rolled over onto my side and stopped. A large piece of shiny metal was staring at me in the face. I laughed. It was one of Locke’s knifes, he had lent it to me ages ago but I had never given it back.
I slowly picked it up, marvelling at the shine of it. I ran my finger down the edge and it sliced neatly into my finger. For a second it hurt but then I felt relived, I sudden release. Whatever happened to me I deserved. I laughed again slightly, maybe what I thought about earlier should happen. Maybe I should die. I turned my wrist to me and placed the knife on it, I could feel the coldness of the steal. Then I dragged the knife across, applying a large amount of pressure. My body felt light again, just like it did when I had just had a shot of heroin. I took the knife with the other had and did the same to the other wrist. I felt better now, I didn’t care if I died. I looked closely at both wrists and watched as the blood flowed down and onto the sand. I smiled. No one will find me till later. My head suddenly felt light and airy. What a wonderful feeling I thought. I laid slowly back down and closed my eyes. I could feel the warm red substance pooling around me as I began to lose consciousness and the sound of the sea began to fade into the distance.
"Charlie?" I could hear my voice being called, "no" Was someone shouting at me or was it a dream, I couldn’t tell. Oh well, someone will find me later.
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"Charlie?" Jack look hesitantly into the tent and froze at the sight which met his eyes. "no" he shouted falling to his knees at Charlie’s side. He grabbed his wrists in haste and held them up. Grabbing one of Charlie’s shirt from nearby he wrapped one wrist in it and then the other. "Don’t do this to me Charlie" Jack tied two large bits of fabric around Charlie’s arms as a tourniquet and lifted him off the ground. He had to get him back to the hatch sharpish, Jack could see he had lost a lot of blood. He had no time to loose.
"Kate?" Jack shouted as he passed her tent quickly. Kate looked up to see Jack in front of her. Charlie was lying limp and unconscious in his arms.
"What happened?" she stood up quickly.
"Never mind?" cried Jack, "I need your help?" Kate nodded in sudden agreement. She knew Jack was deadly serious. "I can’t make it all the way to the hatch with him like this, I need you to fetch bandages and dressing and a needle and thread"
"Ok" Kate turned her back on Jack and entered the jungle heading towards the hatch.
Jack placed Charlie slowly down onto the soft sand. His skin was sickly pale, what has the boy done to himself Jack thought. The doctor looked around to find that many people where staring at him and whispering among themselves.
"What do you want?" Jack shouted angrily. People suddenly looked away and disappeared back into tents and carried on with what they were doing. Jack looked back at Charlie. His eyes twitched and he seemed to be regaining consciousness. "Charlie?" Jack bent over him, watching him closely. "Charlie talk to me" Charlie’s eyes shot open, Jack could see the confused angry look in them. He lifted his arm to push Jack away but placed it down when he realised he could hardly feel them.
"Charlie?" Jack tried to gain his attention but seemed to fail, Charlie seemed to drift in and out of consciousness. Jack sat back for a second, he couldn’t do anything until Kate got back. He watched Charlie closely and intently. Minutes passed by and Jack was becoming impatient, were the hell was Kate?
Suddenly Kate burst through the brushes almost tripping over Jack and Charlie. She was breathing heavily from running, she handed Jack a small bag.
"Thanks" Jack smiled quickly and emptied the contents of the bag out on the sand and sorted it. "Water?" he asked quickly. Kate suddenly handed him a large bottle filled to the brim. "Thanks" he said again setting to work on Charlie. Jack unwrapped one of the makeshift bandages, it was already soaked in blood. He grabbed the water and a towel and cleaned the wound, he was anxious about the loss of blood as the wound kept bleeding. The doctor grabbed his needle and thread and quickly set to stitching it. "Anything I can do?" Kate could hardly watch as Jack continued to stitch. "Yes" Jack said, not looking up from work. "Go to Charlie’s tent, take the knife which is in there back to Locke, then try and make a bed so I can take him back there in a while"
Kate acknowledged and set to her errand. Jack shook his head again, he couldn’t believe he had missed all this. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t read the signs with Charlie earlier. He stitched and dressed both of his wrists and sat back, almost tired from the procedure. Jack didn’t like the colour of Charlie’s skin. It was pale and death like, his fingertips seemed tinged blue, he made no movement and sound. For a second Jack thought the worst but Charlie took a deep breath and twitched.
"Why?" Jack looked at his patient’s unconscious form, "why Charlie, of all the things"
"You don’t know me" Charlie’s voice came as a small whisper. Jack stared at his face, his eyes were still tightly closed.
"What?" cried Jack leaning next to him.
"I said you don’t know me Jack" Charlie tried to speak louder but his voice just seemed to break through the sentence. "You don’t understand me"
Jack’s brown furrowed in thought, there was something about the boy that was different. He had known about the virgin Mary statues, but Charlie wasn’t high, there was something about him that made him fearful of his safety, though he couldn’t place his finger on it. The bright eyed, happy Charlie he had known seemed to have disappeared, this Charlie was different; depressed, frustrated maybe. Jack couldn‘t make it out.
Jack sat for many minutes waiting for Kate’s return. Many people passed and stared, whispering among themselves. This angered Jack terribly, he had heard that Charlie was not the top of everyone’s list but he didn’t realise it was this bad. The fact that the rock star had moved his tent several yards up the beach away from the rest of the camp worried him, and the fact that no one seemed to care worried him more. "Jack" Kate came up from down the beach, she stopped next to him. The doctor looked up. "I’ll take the knife back later" she patted the blade which was wedged under her belt. "Charlie’s tent is a mess and the bed is soaked in blood, put him in my tent"
"Ok" Jack said solemnly, he picked Charlie up slowly and took him into the tent nearby and placed him on the soft blankets. Charlie opened his eyes slowly but remained silent while Jack covered him in blankets.
"Do you want a drink?" Jack asked gently, seeing Charlie’s eyes were open and he was awake.
"Charlie?" Jack asked again when he got no response. Charlie just stared ahead, not even at Jack, just into nothing. The doctor moved into his eye line to get attention and Charlie moved his head to the side and stared at the sand. Jack sighed and got up, following Kate slowly out of the tent.
"Is he alright" Kate sounded concerned. Jack glanced back at the tent and then to Kate.
"No, I don’t think he’s alright" Jack shook his head, "What exactly has been going on recently?" He pried.
"Charlie’s been having somedreams" Kate said, Jack’s face fell in an instant, "he kidnapped Aaron and Locke punched him for worrying Claire. Jack he’s been sleep walking"
Jack looked back to the tent in deep thought. He was not wrong, there was something about the boy, and Jack was deeply worried. He looked back at Kate.
"We need to keep an eye on him" he said seriously, "I don’t want to let him out of my sight"
"Charlie?" Jack shook the boys shoulders gently, noon had been and gone and Charlie had not woken since his strange behaviour. Word had already spread though camp of Charlie’s actions but no one had officially told Claire.
"Charlie?" Jack shook the rock star again and he moaned softly and opened his eyes to find Jack face to face with him
.
"Get away!" Charlie screamed in a funny high pitched voice, causing Jack to jump out of his skin at the sound. Charlie’s eyes seemed wild and heedless to weather it was the doctor or not.
"Charlie calm down" Jack lowered the tone of his voice.
"I know what your trying to do" the ex - junkie spat back in anger, "Your trying to convince me I’m going mad, Aaron’s in danger and you know it, and everyone thinks I’m using because of those bloody virgin Mary statues..."
"Calm down" Jack sounded firm this time, he had no idea what had gone on with his friend in the past few weeks, he had totally lost track of what was really going on on the island, too wound up in the Others and the Hatch. "Just have a drink, your probably dehydrated, you need to rest" Jack opened a bottle and offered it to his patient.
"Don’t tell me what to do" Charlie’s voice grew more anger stricken, his hand flew to the bottle sending it out of Jacks hand and to the sand spilling it contents. "And don’t try and drug me either, I know your tricks" Jack backed off slightly beginning to worry for his own safety as well as Charlie’s. He held his hands out in front of him in surrender, he stood up concern spreading across his face.
"Just leave me" Charlie shouted again. Jack backed up and out of the door still keeping a close eye on his friend. Charlie stood quickly, a little too quickly for himself as his head began to spin a little, Jack glanced at him in pity, what was wrong with him?
"I don’t think you should be getting up" Jack expressed his concern again.
"I don’t care what you think" Charlie tried to push pasted the doctor but Jack stood in his way. "move" Jack stood his ground in the way of the musician, but Charlie pushed him back, the doctor was surprised the amount of energy the boy still had in his system after what had happened.
"Charlie?" Jack followed him as he stormed down the beach toward his own tent stumbling a little as he went, survivors stood and watched him as he went. "What are you doing" Jack shouted to him, beginning to loose his patience.
"To get high" Charlie laughed to himself. Jack stopped for a second, this was no what he was expecting to hear. Charlie sped on reaching his tent he rummaged though his bloodstained belongings and grabbed a rucksack. He smiled as he found what he was looking for. A perfect bundle of baggies filled with heroin. He laughed to himself and placed them into the bag and placed it on his back standing up to find Jack in the doorway.
"Charlie?" Jacks face was now so anxious and worried, he had just seen what the rock star had placed in his bag. "What are you doing"
Charlie pushed past him quickly like before but with more determination this time. "Stop" Jack ran after him, a crowd had now began to gather as the pairs voices where raised in anger and frustration.
Charlie grabbed a flaming branch from a nearby fire and held it up in front of Jack. "I told you" Charlie’s voice went up a tone, "I’m going to get high, if no one believes I’m clean I might as well, and besides, who gives a bloody damn about me"
"I do" Jack shouted back it him, "Please Charlie this is not the way to prove you point, just sit down and we can talk"
"No" Charlie leaned forward "I’m going, and I tell you now" his voiced lowered, "If you come after me, I’ll kill you." And with that Charlie turned and ran at as fast a speed as he could into the deep jungle.
Jack paid no heed to Charlie suggestion, seeing that his friend was totally out of it he didn’t think he knew what he was saying. He ran after him soon beginning to catch him up, he was almost on his heels when Charlie turned to face him.
"I warned you!" Charlie’s maddened look met Jack’s, he swung the flaming branch up and struck Jack around the head. Before the doctor knew it he was on the floor.
"Don’t follow me" Jack heard faintly as his eyes didn’t focus, he saw Charlie’s blurry form disappear into the undergrowth, his head pounded and he finally lost consciousness letting himself fall into the blackness of his mind.
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Charlie spedon, paying little attention to where he was going or what he had just done. He delved deeper into the jungle and further from the beach, finally finding that his legs were tired he stopped in a small clearing he let his legs go and fell to his knees. He didn’t care where he was, he only hoped no one would find him. Locke was the only one with tracking skills and he was not about to go out looking for him was he.
Charlie set his bag out in front of himself and opened it, waiting for a second he marvelled at his stash in wondered, he counted the baggies, 8 in total. Picking one out opening it slowly as his hands began to shake in anticipation for the drug. He spilled almost all of the contents of the bag onto his palm. Even the sense of the drug calmed him slightly. He placed his nose close to the powder and snorted the contents of his hand, waiting for the rush to hit his system, he lay back on the nearest tree as it took its toll on his body. Breathing in a huge gulp of air he sighed loudly, letting the opiate suppress his confused mind, finally able to forget about everything.
"Your a fool Charlie boy" he laughed to himself in utter bliss with himself, "such a fool" he sighed loudly again, taking a second bag he emptied half the contents onto his palm. He stared at it for a moment, although his vision seemed clouded by a drug induced mist. He placed the powder again close to his nose, blocking one nostril his snorted up the other, and waited for a second. As the drug took over he felt his breathing and heart rate slow dramatically. Charlie slid down the tree and found himself in a floppy heap on the floor, he closed his eyes thinking of his past memories of Driveshaft and his childhood. His limbs twitched slightly as he lay there in ecstasy, finally he closed his eyes completely letting the heroin run through his veins and take over, he only hoped no one would find him.
"Jack stop" Kate found herself running after the doctor who was now trudging quickly through the jungle, "Jack you were unconscious for over 10 minutes, you need to sit down"
"Don’t tell me what I need to do" Jack shouted back without the slightest ounce of remorse.
"Charlie’s gone" Kate cried, trying to slow him down, "We can’t do anything"
Jack’s face contorted in anger at her comment and he chose to ignore it, he knew the consequences of not watching Charlie now, feeling that his suicide attempt was down to his careless thinking he was not about to let anything else happen to him. Jack hurried on with Kate in close pursuit, it wasn’t above 5 minutes when he stumbled into a clearing to find what he was looking for. Charlie was lying by a tree, his eyes closed and a small smile on his face, his hands twitched slightly completely oblivious to Jack and Kate’s presents.
"Charlie?" Jack dropped to his knees by the rock star, he had already noticed the empty baggies by him, this was not what Jack was hoping for. He opened one of Charlie’s eyes to find his pupils dilated, it was what Jack had only expected, an overdose. "Charlie" she shouted in his ear, shaking his shoulders violently, Charlie moaned weakly and shivered but didn’t open his eyes.
"What’s wrong with him?" Kate was unsure of what to do.
"He’s overdosed, I need you to go back to the beach and get help" Jack sighed. Kate turned quickly to run only to find herself collide with another figure behind her.
"Hey there missy, why in such a hurry" Kate shrieked, only to find a set of hands grab her to silence her. Jack turned to find the scene unfold.
"Zeke" Jack’s voice stuttered and he stood quickly seeing Kate in his grasp. "What do you want?" Jack moved towards him.
"Chill doc, no one will get hurt if you do as I say" Jack stood still, eyes glaring at the bearded man before him.
"All we want is the baby" Zeke said coolly, the doctor was frozen on the spot unsure of what to say. "Seems your friend Charlie here, knew what he was talking about" Zeke laughed, "Shame no one believed him"
"And what if we don’t give you Aaron" Jack shouted in response.
"Then she won’t live for a start, neither will he" Zeke beckoned to Charlie’s form, "and half your camp won’t be here tomorrow"
"How do I know you won’t kill them anyway" Jack’s voice lowered, "and how do I know that you won’t take Kate and Charlie, I could just run back to camp now and get a group together"
"Oh really" Zeke sounded bored with Jacks banter, he clicked his figures. Within a flash there was a circle of others around them, rifles held at the ready. Jack looked around him, he scowled from one to the other.
"No tricks Jack" Zeke said "you know the score" she released Kate and she fell into Jack’s arms in front of her.
"So who will it be to get the baby?" Zeke smiled, "You or her?" "I’ll go" Jack cried, Kate stood back from him looking down at Charlie’s unconscious form.
"No" she whispered "Charlie needs you" her eyes welled with tears, "no one believed him." Jack looked back at Charlie as he twitched and moaned again, he seemed lost in his own mind, he was unaware of the scene laid out before him. Unaware that he was right all along and that Aaron really was in danger.
"Ok" Jack nodded weakly as Kate winked at him, "just hurry" "I’m going" Kate turned to Zeke. Zeke smiled and beckoned toward the beach, "Don’t be long" he laughed. Kate walked slowly in the direction and the Others let her walk past.
"Tie them up" Zeke cried as soon as Kate had disappeared from view. "No" Jack struggled as three others grabbed him from behind and pulled him to a tree pulling his hands around it and binding them together tightly. Jack saw as two others pulled Charlie’s limp form upright and did the same.
"Do you really think this is necessary" Jack cried bitterly.
"I don’t trust you" Zeke answered as a gag was tied around the doctors mouth, Jack could taste the bitter musty earth of it, he was pleased however that they didn’t gag Charlie as well. Jack wished he could tend to him, his head hung loosely in front of him, his skin looked pale and clammy, he was showing all the classic signs of an overdose. Jack didn’t know weather he would hold out long enough before Kate returned, he hoped she had a plan of some sort, he was not about to just give in.
"I need to look after him" Jack tried to talk through the gag but failed to form any decent words, he looked to Charlie’s form, his body was jerking, he was trying to be sick. Jack pulled at his bonds utterly helpless. He shouted through his gag and Zeke laughed.
"I wouldn’t bother" he said.
Jack watched helplessly as Charlie’s body heaved violently, he was too weak to move and most of his stomach contents ended up on his clothes rather than the jungle floor. The doctor could see that his body was shaking in a shock like state.
"Hold on Charlie" Jack’s eyes remained on his friend at all times, "help is on the way" he crossed his fingers behind his back, he hoped Kate wouldn’t be long.
Jack’s eyes shot open, he must have fallen asleep, or was he knocked out, he couldn’t tell, then he remembered Charlie had knocked him out originally. The doctor looked up to see Zeke sat in front of him, a smile on his face, Jack wished he could break his bonds right now and give him a damn good beating but that was not about to happen. He turned his head to the side to see Charlie still slumped out of reach, he was mumbling and shaking, a layer of cold sweat covered his pale skin, Jack knew that if he survived the next thing facing him would be withdrawal. Jack exhaled loudly and turned back to look at Zeke who was staring at him, he didn’t know how long it had been since Kate had gone but he sure hoped it would be soon. A time passed and the only sound to be heard was Charlie’s slow and uneven breaths.
Suddenly there was another a sound, the bushes moved and someone cried out, one of the others fell, and then another, suddenly there was a shot and Zeke fell forward, the others scattered, some dropping there rifles. This didn’t make sense, the Others were not like this, they wouldn’t just give up, but seemingly they were. Three figures appeared from the jungle, guns in hand. It was Kate, Sawyer and Sayid and Locke looked to be close behind, a bloodstained knife in his steady hand.
"No one move!" Kate ordered to the remaining others, "put your weapons on the floor and stay were you are" All but two did as they were ordered, the two remained with there rifles pointed at Kate and Sawyer. Two shots were fired and they fell, Sayid hand remained steady, the gun in it smoked slightly. The Others then turned to run, two fell as guns fired, the other kept going until he found one of Locke’s knife’s embedded in his back, he shrieked out in pain and fell forward.
Sawyer turned his back on the action and looked to Zeke, turning him over to revile his deathly, now bloodstained face.
"That was for shooting me, you son of a bitch" Sawyer kicked him and laughed, "No one messes with Mr Sawyer"
Kate’s face remained emotionless as she went to Jack undoing his bonds.
"Thanks but how?" Jack looked confused as he moved quickly to the next tree to see Charlie.
"Never mind" Kate said, placing her gun under her belt, "It doesn’t matter, your ok now" Sayid released Charlie’s bonds and stood watching as Jack let his shaking form lay on the floor gently. Jack patted his face and called his name, but Charlie didn’t respond.
"Why are you bothering Jack" Locke sounded annoyed by the attention Jack was giving Charlie. "He deserves everything he gets"
"Just shut up John" Jack’s eyes welled with tears, "For your information he was right in telling us that Aaron was in danger"
"So he tried to drown the kid instead" Sawyer added, Jack was fuming at this, he turned to look at the 4 of them, his face red with anger.
"Go back to the camp" he said through gritted teeth, he was trying his best to control himself.
"Very well" Locke turned his back and began to leave as so did Sawyer.
"But" Kate hesitated for a second.
"Come on freckles" Sawyer motioned to her to follow, "Nothing to see here" Kate turned and followed the other two, she looked back a couple of times.
"Here" Sayid bent down next to Jack, placing a rucksack down next to him, "I heard and I thought you might need some supplies. "Do you want me to stay"
"No" sighed Jack, "there’s not much you can do" the soldier stood up and began to leave in silence.
"Sayid?" Jack turned to him quickly, "Thanks" he cried.
"Not a problem" Sayid said without turning back to look, "all part of the service"
Jack smiled at his politeness, at least he hadn’t lost faith in everyone, there was a little hope left. He couldn’t really believe that these people could be so easily overturned, it made him nervous, he had one of two choices to now make. He could either try to make it back to camp with the risk of making Charlie worse or he could stick it out here, build a fire and help Charlie face the worst of it. Jack sure didn’t want to stay here, not while the dead bodies of the Others remained nearby.
"Come on Charlie?" Jack said lightly, he didn’t want to move the boy, but it would put Jack’s mind at ease at least if there were a mile or so away from the scene.
"I can carry you for a while" he stuffed Charlie’s rucksack in the other and placed it on his back. "I promise we won’t go far" Jack scooped Charlie’s fragile figure up gently so his head was resting softly on his chest. The first thing that struck him was how light his friend was and then how little response he go from him, all but a small weak groan. Jack only hoped that if the short journey was bumpy it would jolt Charlie back into consciousness.
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Charlie’s head swam with a million thoughts, he could feel his body bouncing around in an unsteady state. His head felt dizzy and Charlie thought for a second if he was back home after having too much to drink, yet after opening his eyes to see the jungle canopy rushing by it all came back. ‘Am I dead yet?’ Charlie’s mind was jumbled, he knew he had taken heroin, but when, where and to what amount he couldn’t remember, it was all too blurry. The only thing that caught he thoughts now was what had happened, and who was carrying him. The junkie could feel his head rested on his bearers chest, his ear pressed up against it so that he could hear every skipping heartbeat.
"What?" Charlie tried to open his eyes more, only to find the sunlight too bright for his already aching eyes. He mumbled weakly.
"It’s ok?" the rock star heard a voice answer, he felt the chest vibrate slightly as it spoke back. "We’re nearly there Charlie, just stay still for a moment or two longer"
"Jack?" suddenly he placed a name to the voice. He strained up to try and see the doctor above him, but failed. Instead he watched intently as the canopy above him glided past, bushes and branches passing quickly, Charlie’s head suddenly felt dizzy, his stomach began to turn.
"Gunna be sick" Charlie blurted weakly, he twitched weakly in Jack’s arms.
"OK, ok" Jack’s pace quickened, jolting the boys body more, the nausea beginning to worsen with every step.
"Jack?" Charlie tried to speak as he tried to turn sideways to be sick, Jack’s arms lowered immediately and Charlie found the soft earth under himself. He tried to vomit weakly, finding little in his stomach, he lied back, sweat covering his forehead.
"Charlie?" Jack’s face was close to his friends, "Charlie, stay awake, we’re here now" Jack took the musician from under his arms and pulled him into a sitting position. "here" he almost forced a bottle of water into Charlie’s mouth. His patient coughed, accepting a little of the fluid. Jack put a hand on Charlie’s forehead, firstly feeling the cold sweat then the burning temperature of his skin.
"You have a fever" Jack sighed quietly to himself, he knew there was going to be a long night ahead of the two of them.