[story] a summer wedding
author: katja (pineapplechild)
email: zukatja [at] gmail.com
"James, could you at least try to pay attention?" Pat sighed.
"I'm doomed," groaned James, head buried in his hands. "I'm going to show up and Kat's going to look at me, and Maria's going to make jokes, and Joan will hit on me, despite the fact that I'm gay and she's my cousin, and the fact that she's adopted does not make it okay!"
"James," Pat said, a little desperately. "Calculus finals. Derivatives. Area under the curve. Come on."
"E to the five sine of x," James said absently. "She's my cousin, Pat! And she'll get me in a corner, and try and stick her hand down my pants again, and really, it's just creepy."
"Thank you." Pat sighed as he scribbled down the answer. He was trying to figure out how he had gotten an extra one third as he said absently "Why don't you find someone to go with you? Isaac would be more then happy to go with you and beat off the creepy cousin trying to stick her hand down your pants."
"Only because he'll try and get his hand down my pants first. I'm not actually that easy," James informed him loftily. "No, not the negative. You did the DV wrong. Use the mnemonic Mr. Ass gave us."
"You shouldn't call him that," Pat said absently as he corrected the problem. "So ask someone else. I mean, isn't Maria catering the entire thing? I'd jump at a night of your sister's cooking for free."
James' head came up like a shot. "That's it!" he shouted.
"Oh crap, James," moaned Pat. "Did you have to get us thrown out the library again? They're going to never let me in again, and this is Finals Week."
"No, really, it's BRILLIANT," crowed James. "I don't know why I didn't think of it."
"Possibly because you were too busy moaning about your cousin who has nefarious designs on your pants? What's this brilliant idea anyway?"
"You, Patrick Cameron Brown," James announced, turning to Pat with an expression of unholy glee "Will be my date to Kat's wedding."
Pat looked at him for a minute, closing his textbook.
"Oh HELL no." he said loudly.
"This is all your fault." whispered Pat.
"You're the one who swore just as Mr. Ass walked past," whispered James back. "So, do you own a tux, anyway?"
"No. I'm not going to the stupid wedding," Pat whispered irately back. "‘Sides, it's not that formal. Just wear a nice suit."
"Hmm. Good point. You look drop dead gorgeous in a suit, so everyone will be jealous," James whispered, looking decidedly pleased at this thought.
Pat wondered if he banged his head on the table, if he could give himself amnesia. James couldn't use him as a date if he had amnesia, right?
"So," said James, walking backwards through the crowded hall to face Pat. "I'll pick you up at 6, okay? That's after your soccer practice, and gives you enough time to shower and get changed."
"I'm not going as your date," Pat said through gritted teeth. "I will not be used like this. Ask one of your fan club."
James rolled his eyes. "We've been over this Pat. I don't trust them to keep their hands to themselves, or to support me through the trauma that is Kat and Tom being gushy romantics. Or to keep me from killing them when my sisters bring up all the "adorable James" stories."
"Tch. I think the fact that you weren't potty trained until five is hysterical, really," said Pat, grinning. James made a face, somehow managing to go down the stairs without falling.
"Only you, Mr. I-Can-Only-Drink-Milk-Before-A-Game."
"Hey, what can I say, I'm a goalie. I need strong bones," Pat said with a shrug.
"Do you really mind all that much?" James asked, abruptly serious.
Pat sighed. "It's not that I mind so much, I mean, a night of your sister's cooking is something I'd do a lot for, but..." he made a face as he pulled out his car keys. "You only want me there to ward off the roaming hands, which is your own damn fault for being so pretty."
James smiled, slow and serious. "You think I'm pretty."
Pat flushed. "James, everyone thinks that you're too pretty for your own good. That's why you have the screaming fan girls. And boys." he said, trying to keep his tone light despite how James had totally intruded into his personal space bubble.
"Yeah, but they don't mean it," murmured James, right by his ear. Suddenly, he spun and ran for his own car. "I'll be by at 6, don't forget!" he yelled over his shoulder.
Pat scowled, bright red, and jammed the key in a little too hard. He glanced at the clock. 3:30, just enough time to get to the practice field. Good. A long, hard practice was exactly what he needed right now.
Pat wondered if that last soccer ball he'd taken to the head had dislodged some essential bit of brain circuitry. Because, here he was, despite desperate protests, in his best suit, sore from practice, and on his way to James' sister's wedding. And he was panicking about it.
"Do you have a present for her?" Pat asked.
"Well, I did find some awesome lacy panties..." James said, thoughtfully. At Pat's panicky look, he grinned. "Oh, don't look so freaked out..." James tossed him a small velvet bag. Pat opened it to find a black iPod.
"Doesn't she have an iPod?" he asked.
"Well, she has this ancient Mini that's limping along on its last legs, but this one's not only shiny, new and big enough for her entire library, I got it engraved." James sounded smug. "Latin is useful for something, amazingly."
Pat flipped it over. "Ad eundum quo nemo ante iit," he read, and James started grinning again. It took him a moment to translate.
"To boldly go where no man has gone before? James!" he yelped, and whacked James' thigh with his free hand.
"Hey, no hitting the driver! And besides, who else could mix Star Trek and a dirty joke like that, eh?"
"When your sister hits you, I will laugh," Pat said direly.
"Honestly, you worry too much," James said airily as they pulled into the lot.
The ceremony passed in a haze for Pat. Kat - who he knew vaguely as one of James' sisters, the one who laughed a lot and taught James how to ice skate - beamed impartially at everyone and looked stunning, all creamy skin and long dark hair in a sleeveless wedding dress. Her almost husband looked shell shocked and totally bowled over. (The rumour went that Kat had proposed to him when he was on his back under her car, almost giving the poor guy a concussion). Mostly Pat poked James, trying to keep him awake during the ceremony. He also hid James' gagging face when the couple kissed. The dreaded cousin didn't show up until after the dinner, which was, as promised, full of delicious culinary heaven.
Joan was apparently the adopted daughter of James' aunt. She was cute as a button, working the petite Asian cuteness in a tight red sheath. She somehow managed to home in on James while Pat was dutifully retrieving drinks.
"Oh look, there's my date," James was babbling desperately, and launched himself at Pat's arm. Pat managed to transfer the drinks to his other hand before they spilled, but just barely.
"Oh drinks, how nice," James said brightly, a desperate look in his eyes. "Oh look, dancing, I like dancing, let's dance."
"Um," Pat managed.
"Here, you'll hold these, won't you?" James said to Joan, taking the drinks from Pat and all but shoving them at her.
"Where were you?" hissed James. "She cornered me! She was moving in for the kill! Next it was going to be walking outside and designs on my pants!"
"I can't follow - can you follow?" asked Pat.
"Yeah, sure I guess. My sisters always led. Is she watching us?"
"Who, your sisters? Well, Maria is stepping on the feet of one of the bridegrooms, and I haven't seen Liz yet, but Kat's dancing with her boy-toy and looking utterly besotted."
"EW! That was a mental image I did NOT need, Pat!"
"On the other hand," Pat continued easily "The nefarious pants cousin is glaring at me like she's trying to drill a hole in my head. Who knew tiny Asian girls could be so vicious?"
"Is she really?" James sounded delighted.
"The perks of being taller. And leading." Pat said. James took the opportunity to press closer. Pat stiffened.
"Oh relax, stud." James said with a wink.
"Personal space bubble!" hissed Pat. "We talked about this!"
James blinked up at him innocently. "We did?"
"Yes!"
"Oh," said James, moving his hands until it was more of a swaying cuddle then dancing. Pat's back was stiff as a board.
"She's gone off to the bar," said Pat as normally as possible. "You can let me breathe now."
"Is she now," said James.
Pat helplessly stared down at James' blond head, and did his best not to run into anyone.
"Bye Kat! Don't do anything I wouldn't do, and if you join the Mile High Club, I don't want to know," said James quickly as Kat approached, hand in hand with her new husband.
Kat looked amused, and smacked her little brother gently on the head.
"Such faith. And you managed to rustle up a date to save you from the," she raised an eye-brow "cousin with nefarious plans for your pants, eh?"
"Hi," Pat said weakly.
"So, are you a willing victim?" Kat asked, turning to him.
"Um."
She laughed. "I take it no. Well, I appreciate it. I saw you managing him quite expertly. Keep up the good work."
"Thanks," Pat said, unsure. "I hope you have a lovely marriage." Kat laughed again, delightedly, and turned to share a fond look with her husband.
"I still can't believe I'm married. Thank you," she said. "And if James ever gets uppity, you have my blessings to kick him in the pants," she said with a smile. And then the smile turned scary. "But if you make him cry, I'll feed your liver to the crows."
"Kat!" James protested, hooking an arm around Pat's waist. "Leave Pat alone."
"Good night, kids." She chirped, and the happy couple was on their way.
Crossing the parking lot, James turned to Pat and said, "I really do appreciate you coming."
"Um. It wasn't all that bad, actually," Pat said.
"Wasn't 'that bad'?" James said, mock-outraged. "Hah. It was fabulous." He fell silent for a minute, then said, "Kat was really pretty."
"She was," Pat agreed. "The tiger lilies were a nice touch."
"And she seems to really be serious about this guy."
"Well, she did marry him."
"Look, I'm sorry I was a bit of a dick, making you come," James said in a rush.
"Hey." Pat said. "I came. You couldn't have made me. I had fun." To his surprise, it was true.
"Still," said James, leaning on the hood of his car. "I was kinda touchy and clingy and annoying as hell."
Pat scowled. "For someone who brought me because I wouldn't have wandering hands, you were quite a tease," he said grumpily. James scuffed his toe in the gravel.
"Um. I kinda lied."
"About what? The cousin was there."
"Yeah she was, and the look on her face was totally awesome when she realized I was really gay!" James said, sounding delighted.
Pat frowned.
"You are totally not doing penitent well," he accused. James turned to him with a toe-shivering look, and smiled, suddenly up in Pat's personal space again.
"Hey, I'm not a tease if I deliver, am I," he murmured, and pulled Pat into a quick kiss. Pat stiffened, and blinked. James' face was in shadow because of the lights, but decidedly nervous.
"That will do," Pat decided, and reached for James, one hand going around his waist and the other burying in the curly hair that had taunted him all night.
the end
email: zukatja [at] gmail.com
"James, could you at least try to pay attention?" Pat sighed.
"I'm doomed," groaned James, head buried in his hands. "I'm going to show up and Kat's going to look at me, and Maria's going to make jokes, and Joan will hit on me, despite the fact that I'm gay and she's my cousin, and the fact that she's adopted does not make it okay!"
"James," Pat said, a little desperately. "Calculus finals. Derivatives. Area under the curve. Come on."
"E to the five sine of x," James said absently. "She's my cousin, Pat! And she'll get me in a corner, and try and stick her hand down my pants again, and really, it's just creepy."
"Thank you." Pat sighed as he scribbled down the answer. He was trying to figure out how he had gotten an extra one third as he said absently "Why don't you find someone to go with you? Isaac would be more then happy to go with you and beat off the creepy cousin trying to stick her hand down your pants."
"Only because he'll try and get his hand down my pants first. I'm not actually that easy," James informed him loftily. "No, not the negative. You did the DV wrong. Use the mnemonic Mr. Ass gave us."
"You shouldn't call him that," Pat said absently as he corrected the problem. "So ask someone else. I mean, isn't Maria catering the entire thing? I'd jump at a night of your sister's cooking for free."
James' head came up like a shot. "That's it!" he shouted.
"Oh crap, James," moaned Pat. "Did you have to get us thrown out the library again? They're going to never let me in again, and this is Finals Week."
"No, really, it's BRILLIANT," crowed James. "I don't know why I didn't think of it."
"Possibly because you were too busy moaning about your cousin who has nefarious designs on your pants? What's this brilliant idea anyway?"
"You, Patrick Cameron Brown," James announced, turning to Pat with an expression of unholy glee "Will be my date to Kat's wedding."
Pat looked at him for a minute, closing his textbook.
"Oh HELL no." he said loudly.
"This is all your fault." whispered Pat.
"You're the one who swore just as Mr. Ass walked past," whispered James back. "So, do you own a tux, anyway?"
"No. I'm not going to the stupid wedding," Pat whispered irately back. "‘Sides, it's not that formal. Just wear a nice suit."
"Hmm. Good point. You look drop dead gorgeous in a suit, so everyone will be jealous," James whispered, looking decidedly pleased at this thought.
Pat wondered if he banged his head on the table, if he could give himself amnesia. James couldn't use him as a date if he had amnesia, right?
"So," said James, walking backwards through the crowded hall to face Pat. "I'll pick you up at 6, okay? That's after your soccer practice, and gives you enough time to shower and get changed."
"I'm not going as your date," Pat said through gritted teeth. "I will not be used like this. Ask one of your fan club."
James rolled his eyes. "We've been over this Pat. I don't trust them to keep their hands to themselves, or to support me through the trauma that is Kat and Tom being gushy romantics. Or to keep me from killing them when my sisters bring up all the "adorable James" stories."
"Tch. I think the fact that you weren't potty trained until five is hysterical, really," said Pat, grinning. James made a face, somehow managing to go down the stairs without falling.
"Only you, Mr. I-Can-Only-Drink-Milk-Before-A-Game."
"Hey, what can I say, I'm a goalie. I need strong bones," Pat said with a shrug.
"Do you really mind all that much?" James asked, abruptly serious.
Pat sighed. "It's not that I mind so much, I mean, a night of your sister's cooking is something I'd do a lot for, but..." he made a face as he pulled out his car keys. "You only want me there to ward off the roaming hands, which is your own damn fault for being so pretty."
James smiled, slow and serious. "You think I'm pretty."
Pat flushed. "James, everyone thinks that you're too pretty for your own good. That's why you have the screaming fan girls. And boys." he said, trying to keep his tone light despite how James had totally intruded into his personal space bubble.
"Yeah, but they don't mean it," murmured James, right by his ear. Suddenly, he spun and ran for his own car. "I'll be by at 6, don't forget!" he yelled over his shoulder.
Pat scowled, bright red, and jammed the key in a little too hard. He glanced at the clock. 3:30, just enough time to get to the practice field. Good. A long, hard practice was exactly what he needed right now.
Pat wondered if that last soccer ball he'd taken to the head had dislodged some essential bit of brain circuitry. Because, here he was, despite desperate protests, in his best suit, sore from practice, and on his way to James' sister's wedding. And he was panicking about it.
"Do you have a present for her?" Pat asked.
"Well, I did find some awesome lacy panties..." James said, thoughtfully. At Pat's panicky look, he grinned. "Oh, don't look so freaked out..." James tossed him a small velvet bag. Pat opened it to find a black iPod.
"Doesn't she have an iPod?" he asked.
"Well, she has this ancient Mini that's limping along on its last legs, but this one's not only shiny, new and big enough for her entire library, I got it engraved." James sounded smug. "Latin is useful for something, amazingly."
Pat flipped it over. "Ad eundum quo nemo ante iit," he read, and James started grinning again. It took him a moment to translate.
"To boldly go where no man has gone before? James!" he yelped, and whacked James' thigh with his free hand.
"Hey, no hitting the driver! And besides, who else could mix Star Trek and a dirty joke like that, eh?"
"When your sister hits you, I will laugh," Pat said direly.
"Honestly, you worry too much," James said airily as they pulled into the lot.
The ceremony passed in a haze for Pat. Kat - who he knew vaguely as one of James' sisters, the one who laughed a lot and taught James how to ice skate - beamed impartially at everyone and looked stunning, all creamy skin and long dark hair in a sleeveless wedding dress. Her almost husband looked shell shocked and totally bowled over. (The rumour went that Kat had proposed to him when he was on his back under her car, almost giving the poor guy a concussion). Mostly Pat poked James, trying to keep him awake during the ceremony. He also hid James' gagging face when the couple kissed. The dreaded cousin didn't show up until after the dinner, which was, as promised, full of delicious culinary heaven.
Joan was apparently the adopted daughter of James' aunt. She was cute as a button, working the petite Asian cuteness in a tight red sheath. She somehow managed to home in on James while Pat was dutifully retrieving drinks.
"Oh look, there's my date," James was babbling desperately, and launched himself at Pat's arm. Pat managed to transfer the drinks to his other hand before they spilled, but just barely.
"Oh drinks, how nice," James said brightly, a desperate look in his eyes. "Oh look, dancing, I like dancing, let's dance."
"Um," Pat managed.
"Here, you'll hold these, won't you?" James said to Joan, taking the drinks from Pat and all but shoving them at her.
"Where were you?" hissed James. "She cornered me! She was moving in for the kill! Next it was going to be walking outside and designs on my pants!"
"I can't follow - can you follow?" asked Pat.
"Yeah, sure I guess. My sisters always led. Is she watching us?"
"Who, your sisters? Well, Maria is stepping on the feet of one of the bridegrooms, and I haven't seen Liz yet, but Kat's dancing with her boy-toy and looking utterly besotted."
"EW! That was a mental image I did NOT need, Pat!"
"On the other hand," Pat continued easily "The nefarious pants cousin is glaring at me like she's trying to drill a hole in my head. Who knew tiny Asian girls could be so vicious?"
"Is she really?" James sounded delighted.
"The perks of being taller. And leading." Pat said. James took the opportunity to press closer. Pat stiffened.
"Oh relax, stud." James said with a wink.
"Personal space bubble!" hissed Pat. "We talked about this!"
James blinked up at him innocently. "We did?"
"Yes!"
"Oh," said James, moving his hands until it was more of a swaying cuddle then dancing. Pat's back was stiff as a board.
"She's gone off to the bar," said Pat as normally as possible. "You can let me breathe now."
"Is she now," said James.
Pat helplessly stared down at James' blond head, and did his best not to run into anyone.
"Bye Kat! Don't do anything I wouldn't do, and if you join the Mile High Club, I don't want to know," said James quickly as Kat approached, hand in hand with her new husband.
Kat looked amused, and smacked her little brother gently on the head.
"Such faith. And you managed to rustle up a date to save you from the," she raised an eye-brow "cousin with nefarious plans for your pants, eh?"
"Hi," Pat said weakly.
"So, are you a willing victim?" Kat asked, turning to him.
"Um."
She laughed. "I take it no. Well, I appreciate it. I saw you managing him quite expertly. Keep up the good work."
"Thanks," Pat said, unsure. "I hope you have a lovely marriage." Kat laughed again, delightedly, and turned to share a fond look with her husband.
"I still can't believe I'm married. Thank you," she said. "And if James ever gets uppity, you have my blessings to kick him in the pants," she said with a smile. And then the smile turned scary. "But if you make him cry, I'll feed your liver to the crows."
"Kat!" James protested, hooking an arm around Pat's waist. "Leave Pat alone."
"Good night, kids." She chirped, and the happy couple was on their way.
Crossing the parking lot, James turned to Pat and said, "I really do appreciate you coming."
"Um. It wasn't all that bad, actually," Pat said.
"Wasn't 'that bad'?" James said, mock-outraged. "Hah. It was fabulous." He fell silent for a minute, then said, "Kat was really pretty."
"She was," Pat agreed. "The tiger lilies were a nice touch."
"And she seems to really be serious about this guy."
"Well, she did marry him."
"Look, I'm sorry I was a bit of a dick, making you come," James said in a rush.
"Hey." Pat said. "I came. You couldn't have made me. I had fun." To his surprise, it was true.
"Still," said James, leaning on the hood of his car. "I was kinda touchy and clingy and annoying as hell."
Pat scowled. "For someone who brought me because I wouldn't have wandering hands, you were quite a tease," he said grumpily. James scuffed his toe in the gravel.
"Um. I kinda lied."
"About what? The cousin was there."
"Yeah she was, and the look on her face was totally awesome when she realized I was really gay!" James said, sounding delighted.
Pat frowned.
"You are totally not doing penitent well," he accused. James turned to him with a toe-shivering look, and smiled, suddenly up in Pat's personal space again.
"Hey, I'm not a tease if I deliver, am I," he murmured, and pulled Pat into a quick kiss. Pat stiffened, and blinked. James' face was in shadow because of the lights, but decidedly nervous.
"That will do," Pat decided, and reached for James, one hand going around his waist and the other burying in the curly hair that had taunted him all night.
the end