[story] july
author: mina li (isanah)
e-mail: codename.mina.li [ at ] gmail dot com
You usually love summer, even though it’s hot and sticky or pouring rain outside, because then you can sleep in late and you only have to go to school once a week, just to turn in your homework, and then you’re back at lunchtime. There are fresh lychees and mangoes in summer from the fruit stands, sweet and juicy, and sometimes if you’re really good there’s shaved ice, fine as powder, topped with sweet red beans and condensed milk.
There are still chores to do, like feeding the chickens and mopping the floors, but overall, each day passes seamlessly into the next, as you play house with your younger sisters and help your mother cook, ending with I Love Lucy or Father Knows Best on the television before you go to sleep.
Yes, summer is a special time of year.
One day, you’re at the table, finishing up the last of your homework when there is a frantic knocking at the door. It’s Corporal Zhou, Ba’s assistant, his normally smiling face sober and drawn.
"I need to see your mother," he says, and before you can show him in, he’s running past you, disappearing into the kitchen where Ma is chopping vegetables. You try to go back to your work, but the walls have always been thin, and when the hushed urgent voices give way to sobbing you put down your pencil and scoot your chair over so you can hear better.
Seconds later, the door bangs open. "Get your sisters," Ma says, her voice trembling and choked with tears. "Your father’s been taken away."
That night, Ma goes into Ba’s study and throws open the metal cabinet, pulling out a drawer. Inside it are little silk pouches, and in those pouches are gold necklaces, jade bracelets, earrings of pearl and coral, and silver watches.
So much treasure in one place. You knew you weren’t supposed to go into the cabinet without permission, but never in your life have you imagined it holding something like this.
Inside the drawer are medals, too, from Ba’s days in the war against Japan, and papers, which Ma riffles through before putting them aside.
"Help me sort these," she snaps at all six of you. Even the youngest is here, although she was just forbidden from coming into Ba’s study last week, after sneaking chocolates that were hidden in his desk.
Your third oldest sister has already grouped the jewellery according to material: gold in one pile, jade in another, accompanied by small heaps of shining pearl and pink coral. You take out a pouch and unbutton it, finding a coral bracelet inside, and add it to the growing pile.
"What are you going to do with these?" your oldest sister asks.
"Give them to the Changs, for safekeeping." Ma is tight-lipped as she sifts through the piles. "You never know when the Kuomintang will come and search our house. And then tomorrow we need to go to the bank."
All you can do is numbly help your sisters pack away the jewellery to stem the flood of questions: what did Ba do? What does the KMT want with Grandma’s necklaces? Isn’t the KMT supposed to protect us?
When everything is finished, it’s past everyone’s bedtime, but you’re not at all tired.
Days pass, and with each one you become even more worried. What if Ba never comes back? Will Ma have to sell the house, chickens and all? Where will you all go? Will you join the beggars you see when you’re walking to the market?
"Whatever you do, don’t tell anyone what happened," Ma warned everyone that first night. Easy enough for you--when you go to school that week to turn in your homework, you nod and say ‘yes’ when the teacher mentions that you need to put in more effort, and you’ve always been the quiet one among your friends, so you’re more than happy to listen to them talk about the newest American movie.
But as you bike home with new homework, you wonder how long everyone can pretend nothing is wrong. Up until Ba was taken away your future was a straight line: study hard, get into First Girls’ High like your older sisters, do well on your exams, and then get into National Taiwan University, like your oldest sister. If Ba never comes home, you won’t even have enough money to afford your uniform, much less tuition.
If Ba never comes home, what will happen to everyone left behind?
Ma is almost always out now, even after giving the Changs the jewellery and going to the bank, asking around to find out what happened, asking if someone can help bring Ba back home. When she’s in a good mood, the tension in her face is gone; when it’s bad, she’s dabbing at her eyes and snapping at even the smallest noise.
Even though you haven’t told anyone about Ba, people have figured it out somehow--when you went to Yong He for soymilk, you saw Mrs. Xu scurry away as soon as you caught her eye. She’d always been the first to say hello; but as she passes by she stares down at her own bucket. Others, like the Suns, have dropped by, but only at nighttime. They speak in quiet, timid voices, and they never stay too long.
Corporal Zhou comes in while Ma is away to look after all of you. Your older sisters take turns cooking, and you don’t complain even when the mapo tofu has too much chilli paste and the rice almost crunches in your teeth. You feed the chickens while your younger sisters wash the clothes in the battered metal tub, and instead of chattering and bickering there’s only the sound of splashing and scrubbing.
This is all you can do to help: be good and try not to make trouble, because goodness knows there’s more than enough to go around.
Later, Ma starts making lunches for Ba: stewed pork, hard-boiled eggs, bamboo shoots and rice. When she’s out, she charges you with taking them to the military police complex where Ba’s being kept.
You manage to find your way on your bike, thanks to Ma’s map. Even in the sunshine, the building looms large and forbidding over you, but it’s not as intimidating as the guards with their pressed uniforms and stern, impassive faces.
"This is for my father," you tell them, handing over Ma’s packed lunch. They take the bundle politely enough, opening it and inspecting the contents before closing it back up and disappearing into the building.
You stand there for a while, waiting for them to come back out, hoping for some word of Ba, however slim the chance may be. When they return to their posts and pay you no mind, you can’t help but feel disappointed.
After weeks of not knowing, you all find out why Ba has been taken away: someone has accused him of being a Communist spy!
It’s unbelievable. Ba has served the KMT loyally for years, all throughout the war with Japan. And everyone here knows the Communists are no good for taking over the mainland and making everyone starve. Why would Ba ever be part of the Communist Party? Who would make up these lies?
"Who said that about him?" your youngest sister cries. "We should find out so we can pay them back! How dare they do that to Ba!"
"We can’t do that," Ma says. "I’m going to see Mr. Liu tomorrow and see if he can help, now that we know what’s going on."
"Does that mean he can come home?" you ask.
Ma shakes her head. "I don’t know."
Mr. Liu does help, somehow, and thankfully by the end of the month Ba is back home, with a new haircut to get rid of the bad luck.
"Have you all been good?" he asks, while you and your sisters crowd around him. He’s a little thinner, and there are dark circles under his eyes, but he’s home and happy and that’s all that matters.
"Remember," Ma warns, "don’t tell anyone about this, ever."
It’s not like she needed to tell you that. You’re ready to forget this ever happened. You’re ready to have the rest of your summer.
In the end, life manages to pick up where it left off. You’re only reminded of it once, when it turns out that Ba is still on the blacklist after your oldest sister can’t get a visa to go to America for graduate studies.
By then, it’s been years since that one horrible month. You’re already in First Girls’ High; you’ll probably go to National Taiwan University if your exam scores are high enough. And yet this still hangs over your family like a lingering ghost.
Luckily, things are sorted out, and your sister goes off to America in time for the school year, but it’s not until Ba follows her there and returns unscathed that you heave a sigh of relief.
After all, the KMT has eyes and ears everywhere, and they could have been on Ba at any time.
Eventually, you too go to America. You get a master’s degree, marry, find work, and have children. Summer is cooler where you are than it had been in Taiwan, there are no lychees to be had even in the Chinese grocery, and your sons go to camp instead of doing summer homework.
One day you’re on the phone with an old friend from high school, who lives an hour away. "I can’t talk long," she says. "My mother’s coming to visit next week, and since it’s her first time here I’ve got a lot of stuff to do."
"Her first time?" you ask. "What about when you got married?"
Your friend goes quiet for a few seconds. "Well, I suppose we can talk about it now. My uncle, he was taken away for a couple of months, when we were still in high school. Our entire family was blacklisted, you know? I mean, we found that out when I tried to come here. And Ma, she was afraid the entire time about the KMT finding me here."
"Right," you reply. "What about now?"
"Oh, it’s been twenty years already. Now that we have President Lee, all these stories are coming out about how the KMT used to arrest people all the time. I told Ma, ‘look, they won’t do anything to you if you come,’ when she said she was so worried, and the next thing you know, she had her visa, no problem! Things are changing, I guess."
"Yes," you say, unsure of how to feel, "things are changing."
the end
A/N: The Kuomintang (Nationalist Party) ruled Taiwan/Republic of China under martial law until 1988. This made for a safe place to live, since there were very harsh punishments, but the party as a whole was harsh when it came to any sign of political dissent.
This story is based off of that of my grandfather, who was detained in the 1960s under accusations of Communist ties. Although this isn’t quite biographical, names have been changed to protect privacy.
e-mail: codename.mina.li [ at ] gmail dot com
You usually love summer, even though it’s hot and sticky or pouring rain outside, because then you can sleep in late and you only have to go to school once a week, just to turn in your homework, and then you’re back at lunchtime. There are fresh lychees and mangoes in summer from the fruit stands, sweet and juicy, and sometimes if you’re really good there’s shaved ice, fine as powder, topped with sweet red beans and condensed milk.
There are still chores to do, like feeding the chickens and mopping the floors, but overall, each day passes seamlessly into the next, as you play house with your younger sisters and help your mother cook, ending with I Love Lucy or Father Knows Best on the television before you go to sleep.
Yes, summer is a special time of year.
One day, you’re at the table, finishing up the last of your homework when there is a frantic knocking at the door. It’s Corporal Zhou, Ba’s assistant, his normally smiling face sober and drawn.
"I need to see your mother," he says, and before you can show him in, he’s running past you, disappearing into the kitchen where Ma is chopping vegetables. You try to go back to your work, but the walls have always been thin, and when the hushed urgent voices give way to sobbing you put down your pencil and scoot your chair over so you can hear better.
Seconds later, the door bangs open. "Get your sisters," Ma says, her voice trembling and choked with tears. "Your father’s been taken away."
That night, Ma goes into Ba’s study and throws open the metal cabinet, pulling out a drawer. Inside it are little silk pouches, and in those pouches are gold necklaces, jade bracelets, earrings of pearl and coral, and silver watches.
So much treasure in one place. You knew you weren’t supposed to go into the cabinet without permission, but never in your life have you imagined it holding something like this.
Inside the drawer are medals, too, from Ba’s days in the war against Japan, and papers, which Ma riffles through before putting them aside.
"Help me sort these," she snaps at all six of you. Even the youngest is here, although she was just forbidden from coming into Ba’s study last week, after sneaking chocolates that were hidden in his desk.
Your third oldest sister has already grouped the jewellery according to material: gold in one pile, jade in another, accompanied by small heaps of shining pearl and pink coral. You take out a pouch and unbutton it, finding a coral bracelet inside, and add it to the growing pile.
"What are you going to do with these?" your oldest sister asks.
"Give them to the Changs, for safekeeping." Ma is tight-lipped as she sifts through the piles. "You never know when the Kuomintang will come and search our house. And then tomorrow we need to go to the bank."
All you can do is numbly help your sisters pack away the jewellery to stem the flood of questions: what did Ba do? What does the KMT want with Grandma’s necklaces? Isn’t the KMT supposed to protect us?
When everything is finished, it’s past everyone’s bedtime, but you’re not at all tired.
Days pass, and with each one you become even more worried. What if Ba never comes back? Will Ma have to sell the house, chickens and all? Where will you all go? Will you join the beggars you see when you’re walking to the market?
"Whatever you do, don’t tell anyone what happened," Ma warned everyone that first night. Easy enough for you--when you go to school that week to turn in your homework, you nod and say ‘yes’ when the teacher mentions that you need to put in more effort, and you’ve always been the quiet one among your friends, so you’re more than happy to listen to them talk about the newest American movie.
But as you bike home with new homework, you wonder how long everyone can pretend nothing is wrong. Up until Ba was taken away your future was a straight line: study hard, get into First Girls’ High like your older sisters, do well on your exams, and then get into National Taiwan University, like your oldest sister. If Ba never comes home, you won’t even have enough money to afford your uniform, much less tuition.
If Ba never comes home, what will happen to everyone left behind?
Ma is almost always out now, even after giving the Changs the jewellery and going to the bank, asking around to find out what happened, asking if someone can help bring Ba back home. When she’s in a good mood, the tension in her face is gone; when it’s bad, she’s dabbing at her eyes and snapping at even the smallest noise.
Even though you haven’t told anyone about Ba, people have figured it out somehow--when you went to Yong He for soymilk, you saw Mrs. Xu scurry away as soon as you caught her eye. She’d always been the first to say hello; but as she passes by she stares down at her own bucket. Others, like the Suns, have dropped by, but only at nighttime. They speak in quiet, timid voices, and they never stay too long.
Corporal Zhou comes in while Ma is away to look after all of you. Your older sisters take turns cooking, and you don’t complain even when the mapo tofu has too much chilli paste and the rice almost crunches in your teeth. You feed the chickens while your younger sisters wash the clothes in the battered metal tub, and instead of chattering and bickering there’s only the sound of splashing and scrubbing.
This is all you can do to help: be good and try not to make trouble, because goodness knows there’s more than enough to go around.
Later, Ma starts making lunches for Ba: stewed pork, hard-boiled eggs, bamboo shoots and rice. When she’s out, she charges you with taking them to the military police complex where Ba’s being kept.
You manage to find your way on your bike, thanks to Ma’s map. Even in the sunshine, the building looms large and forbidding over you, but it’s not as intimidating as the guards with their pressed uniforms and stern, impassive faces.
"This is for my father," you tell them, handing over Ma’s packed lunch. They take the bundle politely enough, opening it and inspecting the contents before closing it back up and disappearing into the building.
You stand there for a while, waiting for them to come back out, hoping for some word of Ba, however slim the chance may be. When they return to their posts and pay you no mind, you can’t help but feel disappointed.
After weeks of not knowing, you all find out why Ba has been taken away: someone has accused him of being a Communist spy!
It’s unbelievable. Ba has served the KMT loyally for years, all throughout the war with Japan. And everyone here knows the Communists are no good for taking over the mainland and making everyone starve. Why would Ba ever be part of the Communist Party? Who would make up these lies?
"Who said that about him?" your youngest sister cries. "We should find out so we can pay them back! How dare they do that to Ba!"
"We can’t do that," Ma says. "I’m going to see Mr. Liu tomorrow and see if he can help, now that we know what’s going on."
"Does that mean he can come home?" you ask.
Ma shakes her head. "I don’t know."
Mr. Liu does help, somehow, and thankfully by the end of the month Ba is back home, with a new haircut to get rid of the bad luck.
"Have you all been good?" he asks, while you and your sisters crowd around him. He’s a little thinner, and there are dark circles under his eyes, but he’s home and happy and that’s all that matters.
"Remember," Ma warns, "don’t tell anyone about this, ever."
It’s not like she needed to tell you that. You’re ready to forget this ever happened. You’re ready to have the rest of your summer.
In the end, life manages to pick up where it left off. You’re only reminded of it once, when it turns out that Ba is still on the blacklist after your oldest sister can’t get a visa to go to America for graduate studies.
By then, it’s been years since that one horrible month. You’re already in First Girls’ High; you’ll probably go to National Taiwan University if your exam scores are high enough. And yet this still hangs over your family like a lingering ghost.
Luckily, things are sorted out, and your sister goes off to America in time for the school year, but it’s not until Ba follows her there and returns unscathed that you heave a sigh of relief.
After all, the KMT has eyes and ears everywhere, and they could have been on Ba at any time.
Eventually, you too go to America. You get a master’s degree, marry, find work, and have children. Summer is cooler where you are than it had been in Taiwan, there are no lychees to be had even in the Chinese grocery, and your sons go to camp instead of doing summer homework.
One day you’re on the phone with an old friend from high school, who lives an hour away. "I can’t talk long," she says. "My mother’s coming to visit next week, and since it’s her first time here I’ve got a lot of stuff to do."
"Her first time?" you ask. "What about when you got married?"
Your friend goes quiet for a few seconds. "Well, I suppose we can talk about it now. My uncle, he was taken away for a couple of months, when we were still in high school. Our entire family was blacklisted, you know? I mean, we found that out when I tried to come here. And Ma, she was afraid the entire time about the KMT finding me here."
"Right," you reply. "What about now?"
"Oh, it’s been twenty years already. Now that we have President Lee, all these stories are coming out about how the KMT used to arrest people all the time. I told Ma, ‘look, they won’t do anything to you if you come,’ when she said she was so worried, and the next thing you know, she had her visa, no problem! Things are changing, I guess."
"Yes," you say, unsure of how to feel, "things are changing."
the end
A/N: The Kuomintang (Nationalist Party) ruled Taiwan/Republic of China under martial law until 1988. This made for a safe place to live, since there were very harsh punishments, but the party as a whole was harsh when it came to any sign of political dissent.
This story is based off of that of my grandfather, who was detained in the 1960s under accusations of Communist ties. Although this isn’t quite biographical, names have been changed to protect privacy.