(no subject)
I haven't update in a while, since i'm bored and theirs nothing else to do, i might as well make my self usefull. life has been pretty fucking stressful lately. Me and Dave are doing pretty good, acassional arguements though, but life goes on. He told me the other nite, that he thinks he wants to marry me. No one has ever told me that before. I was in complete shock. I dont know if i'm ready for that, or if I am ready, and he's just not the right one for me. I'm so lost. anyways I finally found a new hobby, this is funny so dont laugh! Its FISHING! This shit rocks! A couple of weeks ago Dave convinced me to go fishing with him and give it a try, and I swear to god I caught 4 cat fish, and a sting ray! Maybe not the best fish, but fuck am I cut out for this shit or what! Then the next nite we went fishing again, and Me and Dave were the only one who caught anything, He caught a cat fish and so did I, but guess whose shit was bigger! MINE! He was fucking huge, and Dave's looked like a little baby! HAHAHA was he embarassed or what! =] He didn't mind though, he was proud of me. Enough about fishing, I finally sord of got a job, its the front desk of the hotel i'm staying in. I have to turn in my application tomorrow, and hopefully i'll get the job! I had one job before as a telemarketer and that didn't work out, I kind of quit on the 1st day, because of medical reasons. It's only for a few days a week, and it gives me some of my own cash, instead of bumming of people, plus I can have my baby with me at work sometimes, and since Dave works across the street he can come over and chill with. This is like once and a life time job, so I'm down for it. The only fucking problem is, is that I have social anxiety, and I have panic attacks really bad. =[ It creeps me out having to be around people, or talking to then alone, if I dont know them. If Dave or someone I am compfortable around is with me, then I will be perfectly fine. I had an appt for circles of care yesturday to see a psychiatrist @ 1:00, butttt my sons eye dr's appt was at 2, and about 40 minutes away from circles of care, and he is more important, so I said fuck it, and just took him. I was heart broken, because I really do need help, but my son defiently comes first. My medicaid runs out in a week, and theirs no way, we can afford the medications and the counceling. I have to call to see if theirs payment plans we can work out. shit i g2g my sons crying. later