Journal Entry from DeviantArt
(Posted on DeviantArt, catching up on a gap since my last post there at the end of November.)
I'm not really active on LJ anymore, but you can find me elsewhere:
http://ian-x.deviantart.com
http://gplus.to/ianx
http://twitter.com/ianstruckhoff
After what seems like ages since my last Journal, it feels like time for an update. Since business travel, the holidays, and everyday life devoured most of my free time, that mostly means stuff other than my creative pursuits.
So, where to start?
On December 1st, my girlfriend got into our third car collision in 10 months. (Our year-old Mazda was totaled in February, in an accident that could have killed her but left her just a little banged up. Then our new Mini was soundly rear-ended in August while we were taking things to the Salvation Army preparing for our move.) The latest was a gentle tap, but led to the usual hassles around body shops, insurance, money, etc.
A few days later, I left for a ten-day business trip to Dublin. It was mostly work, in the main office for my day job, but I also had time to meet the lovely C.E. Murphy and her husband, baby, and other friends and family for a home-cooked dinner, and to see some more of Dublin's sights on evenings and weekends.
While I was there, my grandfather "Struckie" passed away due to complications from his long battle with Parkinsons, at the age of 91. I've 33 years old, and until that day I still had all four grandparents. We knew it was coming, but it's still strange to face death close up for the first time. I'm still not sure how I feel. The funeral isn't until February 18th.
This autumn, I also found out that my stepmother has been diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer. She has been undergoing chemo-therapy, and often it seems like that side-effects are more obvious than the actual illness. It's hard to tell how positive her prognosis really is, but she and my father are handling it all very positively. It's hard to even process what is happening, except through the lens of how it must feel for my father-- He just retired, she's 14 years his younger, and he has always been the one with a health problem looming. He couldn't have prepared for this.
When I got back from Ireland, most of my holiday shopping was done, in the forms of treats and other things that I hope were more special because they came from far away. Still, those couple of weeks seemed to fly by preparing for the holidays. We did a pre-Christmas with Ada's family (having spent Thanksgiving with them, it was "my turn" for Christmas). Then we spent a long weekend with my family up in New Hampshire. It began with Christmas Eve Brunch with my father, step-mother, step-brothers, their wives, and the two new babies. We did Christmas Eve with my mother's family, at a party that has been a tradition since I was little. Christmas morning at my mother's was fairly normal, with the recent addition of her boyfriend and his (adult) son.
Now, it's a new year. I've been struggling working out the direction I want to (or can) take my life in, on a number of levels. I don't think I could say I'm depressed, and I'm not miserable, but I feel full of questions and uncertainty.
I'd like to lose 30 pounds. I'd like to have more of a social life. I'd like to spend more time on my writing, and kick off my "Year of the Pitch" in a big way. I'd like to be able to get back to photography, and working with so many beautiful and creative people. I'd like everything to be the way it was, and I'd like things to change. The usual, I suppose.
I'm not sure if there was much point to sharing all of this, but it was good in a way to say it. Thanks for listening.
I'm not really active on LJ anymore, but you can find me elsewhere:
http://ian-x.deviantart.com
http://gplus.to/ianx
http://twitter.com/ianstruckhoff
After what seems like ages since my last Journal, it feels like time for an update. Since business travel, the holidays, and everyday life devoured most of my free time, that mostly means stuff other than my creative pursuits.
So, where to start?
On December 1st, my girlfriend got into our third car collision in 10 months. (Our year-old Mazda was totaled in February, in an accident that could have killed her but left her just a little banged up. Then our new Mini was soundly rear-ended in August while we were taking things to the Salvation Army preparing for our move.) The latest was a gentle tap, but led to the usual hassles around body shops, insurance, money, etc.
A few days later, I left for a ten-day business trip to Dublin. It was mostly work, in the main office for my day job, but I also had time to meet the lovely C.E. Murphy and her husband, baby, and other friends and family for a home-cooked dinner, and to see some more of Dublin's sights on evenings and weekends.
While I was there, my grandfather "Struckie" passed away due to complications from his long battle with Parkinsons, at the age of 91. I've 33 years old, and until that day I still had all four grandparents. We knew it was coming, but it's still strange to face death close up for the first time. I'm still not sure how I feel. The funeral isn't until February 18th.
This autumn, I also found out that my stepmother has been diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer. She has been undergoing chemo-therapy, and often it seems like that side-effects are more obvious than the actual illness. It's hard to tell how positive her prognosis really is, but she and my father are handling it all very positively. It's hard to even process what is happening, except through the lens of how it must feel for my father-- He just retired, she's 14 years his younger, and he has always been the one with a health problem looming. He couldn't have prepared for this.
When I got back from Ireland, most of my holiday shopping was done, in the forms of treats and other things that I hope were more special because they came from far away. Still, those couple of weeks seemed to fly by preparing for the holidays. We did a pre-Christmas with Ada's family (having spent Thanksgiving with them, it was "my turn" for Christmas). Then we spent a long weekend with my family up in New Hampshire. It began with Christmas Eve Brunch with my father, step-mother, step-brothers, their wives, and the two new babies. We did Christmas Eve with my mother's family, at a party that has been a tradition since I was little. Christmas morning at my mother's was fairly normal, with the recent addition of her boyfriend and his (adult) son.
Now, it's a new year. I've been struggling working out the direction I want to (or can) take my life in, on a number of levels. I don't think I could say I'm depressed, and I'm not miserable, but I feel full of questions and uncertainty.
I'd like to lose 30 pounds. I'd like to have more of a social life. I'd like to spend more time on my writing, and kick off my "Year of the Pitch" in a big way. I'd like to be able to get back to photography, and working with so many beautiful and creative people. I'd like everything to be the way it was, and I'd like things to change. The usual, I suppose.
I'm not sure if there was much point to sharing all of this, but it was good in a way to say it. Thanks for listening.