97.
I never thought I’d reach this point in my Life where I can say, “I’m in my mid-twenties!” because honestly, I feel old.
I feel old whenever I hear a song I used to sing along to that’s now considered an ‘old-school joint’. I feel old whenever I pass by middle and high schoolers and think of them as “potential hoes”. I feel old whenever I pass by Carson and see the same establishments that have been there when I used to live there and I feel old when I see new establishments replacing the old. I feel old when I see Joanna, Jannelle, Christian and Joseph come home from school because they used to be in diapers running around the house and stressing the hell outta me, but now they’re in high school, junior high and one that’s almost done with elementary! I feel old volleyball jerseys because they remind me that they’re a huge part of my past. I feel old when I’m surrounded with teenagers. I feel old when I have to write down the year of my birth. I feel old when I think about all the things I’ve been through in Life.
But honestly, I feel happy right now and not old.
I feel happy because it’s spring. I feel happy because the sun is out when I get off work. I feel happy because I know that I can make people laugh. I feel happy because I have friends who have my back all the time. I feel happy because Ina is a little stronger now. I feel happy because I have a family to come home to. I feel happy because I have a home to come back to. I feel happy because I eat three meals a day. I feel happy because I have a mother. I feel happy because I'm slowly getting back into writing and photography. I feel happy because I know God is always watching over me. I feel happy because I don't have everything in this world and that helps me appreciate who and what I don't have in my Life. I feel hapy because I'm still here...I exist...I'm blessed with another opportunity to live. I'm happy that it's my birthday. I'm happy that I'm older, because the older I get, the more blessed and loved I am. I feel happy because...I just am, simply put.
Oh, I'm also happy because you're reading this =)
Thank you to my friends for putting up with my weirdness and entirety.
Mare - who would've thought you and I would be the one "stuck with each other"? I'm just...grateful for all that you've done for me and I wish I have enough words to express my gratitude.
Ranjie & Gee - our lives are different now, but you're still two of the greatest friends I have. 10 years of friendship with Ranjie and 13 years with Gee maaaaaaynnnnnnnnne!!! I wish you two more happiness and strength in your long-term relationships.
Char - I owe my fandom to you!!! If it weren't for you, I'd still be hiding in that fangirl closet. For real, nigga! LMAO
To my Bay Area FaMily - you guys are the fucking best! Our FMLs to MLRs together... I can't even begin talking about them. Thank you...Monica, for being the 'mom' and for keeping us intact when we're being too loud and uncivilized. Justine, for always having me at your house whenever I'm in town and for just leveling with me without even fucking trying! I swear, our minds must be twins! You always try your best to make things easy for me and for everyone and I always see that, for real. Jeri7yn, for having so much faith in me even though at times, I don't have that in myself. Yvonne, for always picking up your phone whenever I need to rant and ramble and for listening to me cry on the phone at 2 a.m. over my never ending love-drama and just simply reassuring me that I've got a friend in you. Winnie, for always asking how I'm doing and for amusing me with your school experiences. Tammy, for misspelling words so I can make fun of you and of course, for your loyalty. Leeann, I've loved you before I met you. I know it's a song title, but I do not kohjidmal! Thank you for being able to laugh with us when we make fun of your failures and not getting mad at us for always pointing it out and for appreciating my poetry. Carol, for being a sweetheart and always showing concern. Mimi, for entering the circle but I'm sad that you're leaving us...but when you come back, I'll be one of those that are happy for it. Tiffany, it's been a while since I've seen/talked to you. I really, really miss you and your old...GDloverself LOL Mitchy, you swear you can burn my flowers but you'll die first! Seriously, being friends with you was an instant connection and you're one of those people that are just simply adorable. Amy, I wish to see more of you and hear more from you because I miss our random talks and how much you complain about boys..but I'm glad that you're with someone that can keep up with you.
To my family, thank you...for enduring the weight I sometimes pass on. To the kids, even though y'all piss me off a lot and y'all make me wanna ship you off somewhere far or throw you in a ditch, I love all of you with all of my heart. I took care of all of you as if you're my own and thank you for making me laugh when you get in trouble, especially Joseph when he cries. To kuya Rommel for being my here whenever I have 911s. To kuya Chito and Sharon, for helping. To Ina, for being the head of the family when Ama passed and for always seeing the best and worst out of all of us..for being headstrong and understanding. I apologize for my shortcomings. To tita Vky, for taking care of Ina when we're not around and of course, the house. Thank you also for helping mom raise me. Lastly, to my mother, the wind beneath my broken wings...I am absolutely, positively, most definitely NOTHING without you. My Life isn't enough to repay you for all that you've done.
Thank you to all the people that has touched my Life throughout these years. I love you, with all of me.
Happy Birthday to me =)