I want that...
Gah! I'm so happy I have this...because I don't think anybody reads it anymore...but I can use it to vent! lol. But I go to Friends School of Baltimore...a private school. I love it, and I’m about to enter my 13th year there. Amazing, right? Lol. All of my friends there are incredible and I honestly don’t know where I’d be without them. But of course I have friends outside of my friends at Friends ::haha::, most of whom attend public school. I love these guys just as much...even though I didn’t get to see them everyday. However, there is one thing in particular, that makes me love being around them so much...and that is the fact that they can express their...well...everything...openly...not like a sappy - I feel this way because of something...but more like they can be completely themselves. Cliche like woah, right? Lol...And I’m sure about a lot...but I’m guessing if anybody were reading this who goes to my school is probably saying to themselves ‘that is so not true, we can be who we are and not get ridiculed for it’...mainly because of the schools whole ‘Quaker’ thing...which we are faaaar from. Lol. And this is semi-true...we can go to school wearing what we want ::within dress code of course lol::, and act how we wish and not get a lot of harassment. And I will admit we do have some very unique people who put themselves out there as who they want to be very aggressively...lol, but if you are not one of those people...is it possible you could get more ridiculed for trying to be yourself while fitting the typical image of others? It really makes me wonder, when I read the away messages of my out-of-school friends saying, “I love [name]! We are cute...so deal” “He’s mine” “I own at life” “I am a bitch“ or ”Don’t fuck with me...bad mood”. And instead of a lot of people who read that and go...ew...I honestly wish I could post those things and not worry about what others will say. I mean, I’ll admit I do care what others think of me a lot...as much as I tell myself I don’t. And sure, it’s an away message, and others will obviously see it...and you are aware of that when you post it, but I want to be able to say what I honestly am feeling and who I love and when I’m in a really bad mood and how frustrated I am at just life in general sometimes. But if you stop and think of all the people that will read your profile that go to Friends, you will know if you write something like “Whoever and I are perfect”, that self-confidence or another sign of direct personality will cause the people who see it to IM everybody going ‘omg did you see her away message?!’ Or else actually consider it a joke...like who would ever say that? And I just want to get away from all that...all of the judging and the pressure to not get caught up in the gossip and commotion. And it’s tough. But instead of us trying to hold back, why doesn’t everybody else just let it go? Just like those unique people who dress different, the people considered preppy should be able to express that uniqueness on the inside of them. I don’t know...I’m really just rambling...and, ironically, if someone were reading I probably would be getting ridiculed for posting this...but it’s ok because I’m starting not to care anymore. And I don’t want to post this and make it seem like everybody at Friends is a horrible person and nobody in public school gets shit for what they say...but I’ve just been caught up in noticing this...and I wanted to just write about it...lol. Ok, aaah, I should really stop now.
K.
K.