(no subject)
First I just want to say... if I say anything that offends you please don't get mad at me. I don't want to offend I have just decided that I'm going to give my oppinion on everything I feel like talking about. And if you dissagree well than comment and tell me what you think, I don't give a fuck if we have different oppinions. It's just that I have so much I think about throughout the day and I feel the need to get it out somewhere and since this is a "journal" I figure this is the place.
Today's topic Suicide:
Nobody NOBODY takes it seriously when you say, " I want to die." I mean they may react only because it puts them a little uneasy but no one actually belives it's going to happen. So stop fucking telling ppl (I'm talking to myself)
Here is the deal DEAL=
Suicide is the ultimate sin. Not talking about christianity sin I'm talking about life sin. It's taking away your own life for what??? weakness. You, I, we are unable to cope with shit we don't feel strong enough. Maybe we are, maybe we just can't see it, maybe no one tells us, and maybe we're just too weak to care. I've said I want to end it, I've said I'm tired, fuck I've even come and said I want to kill myself. The response: emptiness maybe a couple of awwww I love you Kat's but no real feeling. I'm not mad about that. Maybe it's a new found want for life but I understand why ppl don't belive it. Because it's so stupid suicide is fucking stupid. SUICIDE IS FUCKING STUPID So no one wants to belive that their friend is that stupid because really them not beliving doesn't mean they think I'm a joke but that they think I'm too smart for that. I hope I am. And I realized if I keep talking about the ever weighing though in the back of my mind, and eventually do give in to that weakness that is in all of us. Well then everyone would blame themselves thinking... OMG why didn't I belive her when she warned all of us. When she told all of reapeatedly how depressed she is???? And not only would I be ending mine but fucking with others.
So maybe one day I well be able to conqure this depression, I hope so. And maybe I won't and maybe my funeral is sooner than I hope, but I'm not going to cry wolfe just because it's there. It's there for everyone every once in a while. I just have to hope I can continue to realize how stupid it all is.Because the truth is, I would be the one to take my own life it would be my decision, no matter how much I contemplate the idea it's still me who "pulls the trigger" I don't want the blame on anyone else. I'd be the idiotic one, everyone else just had faith in me.
Today's topic Suicide:
Nobody NOBODY takes it seriously when you say, " I want to die." I mean they may react only because it puts them a little uneasy but no one actually belives it's going to happen. So stop fucking telling ppl (I'm talking to myself)
Here is the deal DEAL=
Suicide is the ultimate sin. Not talking about christianity sin I'm talking about life sin. It's taking away your own life for what??? weakness. You, I, we are unable to cope with shit we don't feel strong enough. Maybe we are, maybe we just can't see it, maybe no one tells us, and maybe we're just too weak to care. I've said I want to end it, I've said I'm tired, fuck I've even come and said I want to kill myself. The response: emptiness maybe a couple of awwww I love you Kat's but no real feeling. I'm not mad about that. Maybe it's a new found want for life but I understand why ppl don't belive it. Because it's so stupid suicide is fucking stupid. SUICIDE IS FUCKING STUPID So no one wants to belive that their friend is that stupid because really them not beliving doesn't mean they think I'm a joke but that they think I'm too smart for that. I hope I am. And I realized if I keep talking about the ever weighing though in the back of my mind, and eventually do give in to that weakness that is in all of us. Well then everyone would blame themselves thinking... OMG why didn't I belive her when she warned all of us. When she told all of reapeatedly how depressed she is???? And not only would I be ending mine but fucking with others.
So maybe one day I well be able to conqure this depression, I hope so. And maybe I won't and maybe my funeral is sooner than I hope, but I'm not going to cry wolfe just because it's there. It's there for everyone every once in a while. I just have to hope I can continue to realize how stupid it all is.Because the truth is, I would be the one to take my own life it would be my decision, no matter how much I contemplate the idea it's still me who "pulls the trigger" I don't want the blame on anyone else. I'd be the idiotic one, everyone else just had faith in me.