(no subject)
You all have no idea how happy I am this year is over in 9 days. This was literally the worst year of my life. Every time I think about this year, I get depressed. Academically I did the most horrible I've ever done. Socially, I was destroyed. Mentally, I don't even want to go there. This year hurt me in so many ways and I wish I could take it all back. Every moment. Even though I've done some good, and made some good friends, I wish I could start it all over again and make the right choices. If only there were a way. If only I could have choose to do what I knew was the right thing and not the easy thing or the "fun" thing. There was so much I did wrong. So much I want to take back. I've become someone I don't like and this summer I plan to change that. I need this summer for myself. I need to make myself into someone that I like, not someone everyone else likes (which not many do). Some of you hurt me so badly that I'll never be the same. I have the hardest time trusting people because of you people. I barely let people in anymore. I just can't. I miss the 8th grade me. That is who I want to be. But you all have shaped me and changed me into someone I'm not liking very much. I don't understand anything. I can't focus on anything. I set goals and don't follow through. I need summer. I need it now. I need to get away from everyone, everything. Maybe I'll spend tomorrow in silence. Just to try to think about everything. Maybe I'll spend the next 10 days in silence lol. Yea... I need to sort things out... soon.