It's snowing.
It's snowing outside & it looks absolutely beautiful. It's cold. My hands are freezing. & no one's there to hold them & keep them warm. I love moments like these. But I hate it too. Imagining how beautiful things could be with HIM. I'm not in any kind of rush to be in any relationship, but to be honest with you, I'm not going to fake & say that at times likes these, I don't think about it & that I don't have hope for a fly love... because I do. I imagine that fly love. Just me & him. Not living for tomorrow, but living for the day. Meeting my family. Loving my family. Spending time w/ my family. Holding my hands. Accompanying me when it's time to watch a movie. Cuddling w/ me while we watch the snowfall. Playing in the snow. Throwing snowballs at each other. Holding on to each other in hopes of not falling when ice skating. Walking around the city, grasping every beautiful thing in sight. Lying in the snow, in layers & layers of clothing, in blankets, talking about nothing & everything. Not hoping for warm weather, but hoping to keep each other warm. Spending those good holidays w/ the families. Christmas shopping for the people who mean most to us. Making each other build a bears without each other truly knowing. Random texts, emails, letters, IMS, phonecalls, & voicemails that just say "hi, thought i'd let you know that i'm thinking of you. k bye." For once I just want someone to eat my oreos & milk with. I want to make hot cocoa for someone. & I just want to sit next to a big fireplace, reading a book or a magazine knowing that he's with me. & I want to spend time with our friends... get away from each other & then at the most random moment, we'll somehow know when to both look at each other & know that we're doing just fine. Gahdfhdajkfhdajklfhdajlkf. I JUST WANT TO PLAY IN THE SNOW WITH HIM. & THROW SNOWBALLS AT HIM. & TACKLE HIM IN THE SNOW. & THEN GO INSIDE & KEEP EACH OTHER WARM. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?! Okay. Calming down now. Stopping now. Sleeping now.