So...
I haven't written in here since well, I was with David. So much has happened, so many mistakes, but I don't regret one because I've learned that everything happens for a reason, so I learned not to regret ANYTHING that happens. I was feeling very nostalgic yesterday whether it was because of my visit from TOM or not I don't know, but I went through my archives... mine and Andrew's. I miss him. Talking to him makes me believe he's really serious this time. I read what I wrote back then. I was really in love with him and I would've done anything for him, but I don't think either of us realized it then. I'm certain I see it now though. I know I need to start writing again. I wrote after I talked to him the first night, when we established there were still some feelings, but the night after was the night of the 'I love you's.' I didn't think I would be saying those three words to him after this long. It's been almost three years since we first got together. I used to think that to write I had to have a way with words, but I read my entries and they were real. They were true, I didn't care if I didn't have the words I always had a way of expressing to him how I felt. I could never hide.
How I feel now, I haven't felt like this in so long. I asked Nicki when the last time was that I had the 'giggles'. I don't mean a cute laugh, but I actually giggled. When I'm about to call him I get nervous, I start to shake, feel feverish, get butterflies, and the jitters. I feel like I did three years ago when I was... well, you know... falling in love. <3
I feel like I'm falling in love all over again. I missed this feeling. I feel like a little love-sick teenager all over again. I get chills when he says my name, and expecially when he manages to slip in a "baby" or an "I love you." I get nervous when I feel like he's about to say, "I love you." It's like, I want him to, but I'm still kind of scared that I'll get hurt. I told Nicki last night, that I can still, after all these years, see myself marrying Andrew and being happy. Not satisfied, but actually happy.
Ok, well considering this was supposed to be a short entry, I think I've covered all the basics...
Simply put... I LOVE HIM. [still]