ONE [text]

[iamthewheat]

I cannot say I think much of this. Being whisked away without warning is bad enough, but arriving in this... how do I put it delicately? In this absolute hellhole, it's what I would consider rather rude. A breakfast service would be too much to hope for, I suppose. What a pity that is

Comments

[text]

[libertyfuckyeah]

BREAKFAST WOULD BE COOL. I WANT PANCAKES AND STEAK AND EGGS AND TOAST SMOTHERED IN CARAMEL WITH BANANAS ON TOP.

P.S. SORRY MY CAPSLOCK IS STUCK I CAN'T TURN IT OFF.

...oh my god

[iamthewheat]

That's perfectly understandable. I suppose you have tried pressing the capslock button? But I do applaud your... appetite.

yeahhhh I don't even know, man

[libertyfuckyeah]

YEAH I THINK IT'S STUCK OR SOMETHING. EITHER THAT OR I TOTALLY SCREWED UP THE PROGRAMMING ON THIS THING WHEN I WAS MESSING AROUND WITH IT. LIKE EVERY TIME I KEEP PRESSING THE CAPSLOCK THING AND EVERYTHING AROUND IT, WEIRD STUFF HAPPENS. WATCH

®§¶¢Á†Ï√ı˚ÔÒ†©¨Á؈ÁˆØ…¶ÁØ∏ˆ¨ÁÓ†¨ˆ®¨†Áˆ¨Ø†Ï®¨ˆ†®¨Ø†•¶¢§¢§∞£∞¢£´ÓÏÓ†¨Á´†´∏¨Òˆ©¨Á†ÒˆÓÁ¨ˆ©†¨†Ô

I'LL FIGURE IT OUT EVENTUALLY.

OH, YEAH, I'M PRACTICALLY ALWAYS HUNGRY HERE, ESPECIALLY NOW THAT MY CHIP'S OUT. IT'S A REAL DOWNER. I HAVEN'T HAD A GOOD BURGER IN SO LONG. AND I DON'T TRUST DENMARK TO FEED ME ANYMORE EVER SINCE HE GAVE ME ROTTEN SHARK.

this is beautiful

[iamthewheat]

On the whole, I think I prefer the capslock to... that.

There were so many things odd in that sentence, I don't even know where to begin. I'll start by asking about this chip. And perhaps Denmark doesn't like you.

the sad part is that he talks in capslock too. there's no escape.

[libertyfuckyeah]

THE GOOD PART IS I CAN MAKE FACES WITH IT. SEE?

∂∆∂

∂∆∂!!!!!

CUTE, RIGHT? JAPAN NEEDS TO SHOW ME HOW TO MAKE MORE.

ANYWAY, THE CHIP. CRAZY TECHNOLOGY THAT MAKES YOU A COMPLETELY NORMAL HUMAN. SOMETIMES IT SLOWS PEOPLE DOWN, OTHER TIMES IT SUPPRESSES FIRE POWERS. FOR ME, IT TOOK AWAY MY USUAL STRENGTH AND I DIED MUCH MORE EASILY. IT'S KINDA COOL WHEN YA THINK ABOUT IT! MY SCIENTISTS COULD TOTALLY USE IT TO PROTECT THE FREE WORLD FROM THE REDS.

ALSO DENMARK LOVES ME AND HE THINKS MY MOVIES ARE COOL SO THAT'S NOT IT. HE JUST FAILS AT SOME THINGS. HE DOESN'T FAIL AT FOOD AS BADLY AS ENGLAND BUT DUDE. ROTTEN SHARK. GROSS.

...never change, america.

[iamthewheat]

That's lovely, it really is.

Very interesting about the chip. Quite amazing technology, I do agree. Do you call all your friends by the names of various countries?

btw the "america fuck yeah" tag MAKES MY LIFE

[libertyfuckyeah]

†∆†

I WISH I HAD ALL THE COOL TECHNOLOGY I HAVE HERE BACK HOME, BUT NO, I GOTTA WAIT UNTIL NEXT CENTURY UNTIL ALL THE COOL STUFF IS MAINSTREAM.

NO WE ACTUALLY ARE COUNTRIES. PERSONIFIED.

8D glad you like it!!

[iamthewheat]

I do hope that isn't some sort of game you and your friends are playing. This really doesn't seem the kind of place suitable for that.

[libertyfuckyeah]

NOPE WE REALLY ARE COUNTRIES. I'M THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!

[iamthewheat]

I could've guessed. Are there a lot of you running about, then?

[libertyfuckyeah]

NOT AS MANY AS BACK HOME. THERE'S ME AND ENGLAND AND DENMARK AND NORWAY AND JAPAN AND CHINA AND RUSSIA THE LAND WHALE AND UKRAINE AND I'M PRETTY SURE LATVIA AND BELARUS ARE GONE AGAIN AND GREECE AND (WEST) GERMANY AND ITALY AND CANADA AND SWEDEN AND I DUNNO IF ANYONE ELSE HAS COME OR GONE LATELY, I'VE BEEN PRETTY SICK.

[iamthewheat]

That sounds like plenty, really.

[libertyfuckyeah]

THERE'S LIKE OVER ALMOST 200 OF US OR SOMETHING. AND THE PRINCIPALITIES BUT THEY DON'T REALLY COUNT.

[iamthewheat]

Oh, I doubt the principalities would be happy to hear that.

[libertyfuckyeah]

LIE IS PRETTY COOL, DON'T GET ME WRONG, BUT MOST OF THEM DON'T GO TO THE WORLD MEETINGS OR JOINED THE U.N. OR ANYTHING.

EXCEPT LIE. SHE COUNTS.

I HAVE TO SAY THAT OR SWITZERLAND WILL SHOOT ME.

THAT IS NOT AN EXAGGERATION.

HE'S SCARY AS HELL.

[iamthewheat]

Switzerland?