(no subject)
Was singularly unproductive with my ToV paper. looks like tomorow will be awful. need to learn to live my life again, things have been so much different lately. Its crazy, i'll be doing something and out of nowhere think 'i cant wait to tell adrienne about this', but nope. life is strange i suppose. We will see what comes to be. anyhow, getting my life back will be, interesting. this school year has been pretty much built around that. I mean, its just subtle things, like, when i leave for school, what route i take, the routes i took between classes to maximize seeing her, how i plan my time after school. all that, and just, i guess, how motivated i am. i think i was being passivly self destructive in alot of ways, i'm really not sure why, although i have my suspicions. alot of things i could have done, or i could have done better, i just didn't. and i think it might have had something to do with her. when i was doing my bc ap i was filling it out and all i could think of was "what if i end up at bc, but we are still together?" it was more broad than that, but i think maybe, it was affecting me. in other ways, it helped me alot. i wanted to be the person she thought i was, and the person i thought i could be. honest, faithful, kind, etc. sometimes i didn't do the best at all of those, but i tried alot harder than i have in the past. i even tried not to curse, which was a mixed success. she has a tremendous amount of faith, and i wanted to be someone she could believe in, and confide in, and be understood by. at the same time, perhaps prompted by her, but i think it has earlier roots and she just reinforced it, i went through my own transformation of faith, and came to entirely new understandings of what i wanted, what life was to me, where god fit into it, what he wanted me to do, and what i could do for him. Every few months i look back on the months that have come before and think how much i have changed. I've been changing dramatically since i was a freshman, and i think alot of its been for the best. theres alot about me thats been constant, but i also feel that theres alot about me that has been transformed over time, and these are another two months whose effect i think i will feel forever. i still can't know what will come out of this, how we will end up, if we will end up, and what god has in store for us, but i also can't regret any of it. no matter how much it might hurt to lose, thats only a short sighted pessimism. ultimatly speaking, i've gained more than i ever had a right to. every minute was a blessing.
gnight all
<3mike
You Already Take me There (Switchfoot)
When all I have is on the floor divided, divided
When I'm a world away from peace
Behind your eyes is where I know
I'll find it, I'll find it
'Cause who You are defines my dreams
You already take me there
You already take me there
You already take me there
Heaven in the here and now
When I'm a broken-hearted man
Complacent and tired
When I've been knocked out of the race
I've been a fool for long enough
To fight it, to fight it
It's in your arms I find my place
You already take me there
You already take me there
You already take me there
Heaven in the here and now
You meet me where I am
Forgive me where I am
Where I lose myself in grace
(Where I'm lost and found)
I want to lose myself in grace
Let your love reign down all over me
(Over me)
Cover me
You already take me there
You already take me there
Heaven in the here and now
Heaven in the here and now
Heaven in the here and now
The Face of Christ (Chris Rice)
He shares a room outside with a dozen other guys
And the only roof he knows is that sometimes starry sky
A tattered sleeping bag on a concrete slab is his bed
And it’s too cold to talk tonight
So I just sit with him instead and think
How did I find myself in a better place
I can’t look down on the frown on the other guy’s face
‘Cause when I stoop down low, look him square in the eye
I get a funny feeling, I just might be dealing
With the face of Christ
After sixteen years in a cold, gray prison yard
Somehow his heart is soft, but keeping simple faith is hard
He lays his Bible open on the table next to me
And as I hear his humble prayer
I feel his longing to be free someday
How did I find myself in a better place
I can’t look down on the frown on the other guy’s face
‘Cause when I stoop down low, look him square in the eye
I get a funny feeling, I just might be dealing
With the face of Christ
See you had no choice which day you would be born
Or the color of your skin, or what planet you’d be on
Would your mind be strong, would your eyes be blue or brown
Whether daddy would be rich, or if momma stuck around at all
So if you find yourself in a better place
You can’t look down on the frown on the other guy’s face
You gotta stoop down low, look him square in the eye
And get a funny feeling, ‘cause you might be dealing ...
How did I find myself in a better place
I can’t look down on the frown on the other guy’s face
‘Cause when I stoop down low, look him square in the eye
I get a funny feeling, I just might be dealing
With the face of Christ
With the face of Christ, yeah
With the face of Christ
gnight all
<3mike
You Already Take me There (Switchfoot)
When all I have is on the floor divided, divided
When I'm a world away from peace
Behind your eyes is where I know
I'll find it, I'll find it
'Cause who You are defines my dreams
You already take me there
You already take me there
You already take me there
Heaven in the here and now
When I'm a broken-hearted man
Complacent and tired
When I've been knocked out of the race
I've been a fool for long enough
To fight it, to fight it
It's in your arms I find my place
You already take me there
You already take me there
You already take me there
Heaven in the here and now
You meet me where I am
Forgive me where I am
Where I lose myself in grace
(Where I'm lost and found)
I want to lose myself in grace
Let your love reign down all over me
(Over me)
Cover me
You already take me there
You already take me there
Heaven in the here and now
Heaven in the here and now
Heaven in the here and now
The Face of Christ (Chris Rice)
He shares a room outside with a dozen other guys
And the only roof he knows is that sometimes starry sky
A tattered sleeping bag on a concrete slab is his bed
And it’s too cold to talk tonight
So I just sit with him instead and think
How did I find myself in a better place
I can’t look down on the frown on the other guy’s face
‘Cause when I stoop down low, look him square in the eye
I get a funny feeling, I just might be dealing
With the face of Christ
After sixteen years in a cold, gray prison yard
Somehow his heart is soft, but keeping simple faith is hard
He lays his Bible open on the table next to me
And as I hear his humble prayer
I feel his longing to be free someday
How did I find myself in a better place
I can’t look down on the frown on the other guy’s face
‘Cause when I stoop down low, look him square in the eye
I get a funny feeling, I just might be dealing
With the face of Christ
See you had no choice which day you would be born
Or the color of your skin, or what planet you’d be on
Would your mind be strong, would your eyes be blue or brown
Whether daddy would be rich, or if momma stuck around at all
So if you find yourself in a better place
You can’t look down on the frown on the other guy’s face
You gotta stoop down low, look him square in the eye
And get a funny feeling, ‘cause you might be dealing ...
How did I find myself in a better place
I can’t look down on the frown on the other guy’s face
‘Cause when I stoop down low, look him square in the eye
I get a funny feeling, I just might be dealing
With the face of Christ
With the face of Christ, yeah
With the face of Christ