Fire inside? Hoping, failing?
Well, livejournal, its been a while. I'm glad to see it's still here. I actually attempted to continue one of my older ones from the early 2000's but they're pretty much blocked as it's been so long.
So, a brief summary of life up to now. I'm married to a beautiful wife, i have two beautiful sons, and i am currently six years sober. Sounds a far cry from my previous journals which were all very dark, However, that person still lingers. Particularly of late.
I have periods of pure hopelessness. I have urges to self harm. Interestingly i rarely get tempted to relapse on alcohol or drugs, but that's not to say there hasn't been temptations.
I think that child has just stayed with me, always wanting to come out and be heard. I've been pushing him down for so long, but all it does is let him gestate and come out in more violent bursts. I thought it was high time i just let him out, give him a hug and let him have his say, so he can vent, scream, cry and have some catharsis; and where better than the place that gave me that solace all those years ago?
So i'm posting now to get the ball rolling. Who knows how often i will post here, and for how long it will keep going, but just having it here is a relief already.
So... let's see.
Current album: Life of Agony - "Soul Searching Sun"
So, a brief summary of life up to now. I'm married to a beautiful wife, i have two beautiful sons, and i am currently six years sober. Sounds a far cry from my previous journals which were all very dark, However, that person still lingers. Particularly of late.
I have periods of pure hopelessness. I have urges to self harm. Interestingly i rarely get tempted to relapse on alcohol or drugs, but that's not to say there hasn't been temptations.
I think that child has just stayed with me, always wanting to come out and be heard. I've been pushing him down for so long, but all it does is let him gestate and come out in more violent bursts. I thought it was high time i just let him out, give him a hug and let him have his say, so he can vent, scream, cry and have some catharsis; and where better than the place that gave me that solace all those years ago?
So i'm posting now to get the ball rolling. Who knows how often i will post here, and for how long it will keep going, but just having it here is a relief already.
So... let's see.
Current album: Life of Agony - "Soul Searching Sun"