(no subject)
I've reclaimed a lot of my past, my memories and my scars from you and made them my own. Not all of them; some of them i pretend aren't even there. They're in some kind of perpetual limbo.
These new ones. These are mine. I feel shame, and i feel guilt, but whether that passes or not, and i manage to make some kind of peace with it all, it's all my own. That alone makes it worth it.
This past month has been a real struggle. Some days have felt like i've been wading through clay just to get to the evenings, but i've done it.
Small victories.
It's still hard though. These relapses come quicker and like a tolerance builds up the more you consume an intoxicant... i can't help but feel like this will get a lot worse before it gets better. But hopefully i will survive just like i have been... time will tell.
I just don't know how i can maintain this strength for much longer...
These new ones. These are mine. I feel shame, and i feel guilt, but whether that passes or not, and i manage to make some kind of peace with it all, it's all my own. That alone makes it worth it.
This past month has been a real struggle. Some days have felt like i've been wading through clay just to get to the evenings, but i've done it.
Small victories.
It's still hard though. These relapses come quicker and like a tolerance builds up the more you consume an intoxicant... i can't help but feel like this will get a lot worse before it gets better. But hopefully i will survive just like i have been... time will tell.
I just don't know how i can maintain this strength for much longer...