Twilight fanfic summary executions!

[iamtheliquorr]

OK guys, as much as it pains me to say it, I have a new crack--bad Twilight fanfic.  Especially AUs.  Last night in ontd_lost chat, we found some truly glorious ones.  I decided they were too glorious to be lost in the bowels of my ichat logs, so here are some highlights:

• this is twilight with me and bella best friends and we're just starting 11th grade when the cullens show up. normal pairings, lissa's POV L/J. rated T


• alex potter just lost cedric. deeply depressed she goes to live to forks. only to meet with edward cullen who lost bella as she was giving birth to nessie. soon he falls for her but with cedric fresh in her mind will she return the feelings? hp twi crosov


• Alice has a father, a rich, stock market father, one who people want to destroy. And the only way to destroy him? Through Alice. So they kidnap her. What will happen? AU/AH JxA story


• See what happens when Emmett decides that pigs need to fly. One-shot.


• Previously titled Teaching Mr. Cullen. Bella has a thing for her new History teacher, Edward Cullen, who takes notice to her as well. And he'll soon realize that he is not the only one doing the teaching in this class.


• Bella, 19, is a muderer ordered to kill...Edward, a sweet sensative 17 yr old emo/jock who is looking for forgiveness and a promdate, she looks for revenge. She has a dark past ,while he lives one. He has love strong as her hate. Prolouge first chapter


• this is what happens in our UMW meetings when my cousin Lizzie and I have no idea what is going on and no one will listen to us anyways so we pass notes somehow all our conversations end in something twilight related


• What if Edward was the human and Bella was the vampire?What if Bella was 100 years old and Edward was only 17?


• hey this is my second fic so please be nice lol bad summary ... good story !


• Bella confessed her motives to Jake after he pulled her from the water in New Moon; what happens when she returns to Forks at the ripe old age of 25? Who have they become in the meantime? Ignores Italy, E & BD, rated T for mature themes. Bella is OC. --- O SNAP YOU GUISE I'M FUCKING ANCIENT


• Edward plays for the Seattle Seahawks, one game the Bella's worst fear becomes a reality. I totally suck at summaries...First fanfic so read and review! PS i've realized that the first chapter kinda sucks compared to the others so please read on!


• Payton Tanner is not your All-American girly-girl teen, she doesn't like pink or fluffy stuff, she doesn't wear skirts, and she HATES cheerleaders. When she moves to the outskirts of Forks and goes to school in La Push she unexpectedly meets Paul!


• Edward was a nerd. He had acne, huge glasses and braces. When he moves he decides to make a change. And he turns out to be way different then any body planned. How will the people of forks including Bella accept this Edward? ALL HUMAN I don't own anything


• Bella is a young dancer living in Phoenix and a hopfull contestant on the next season of "So You Think You Can Dance" Where she meets none other then Edward Cullen. Full summary inside. Normal pairings, All Human. E/B, A/J, R/Em


• After finding out that Edward & Alice slept together the Cullen's will never be the same. Heartbroken, Jasper & Bella each turn to the one person they can depend on...eachother. Can 2 people learn to move on in the midst of a war? BxJ vers.of BreakingDawn


• After the killing-spree failure, a humilliated Aro Volturi found just what he wanted at the perfect timing; a creature who could give birth to another that could defy both life and death. Amelie Birgminham was born to die, but aren't we all? Post BD.


• Edward Cullen has to learn to live without his eye sight, after an accident with his two brothers leaves him blind. He finds himself falling into a depression, but when his brother Emmett's long lost sister appears at their door step,will there be hope?AH


• Izzy-Bella is Izzy in this story- has had enough of her abusive step father Phil. She goes to move in with Charlie on the La Push Reservation. She meets a pack of wolves, literally. Will love spark with one of them? If so, which one?


• Bella Swan and Edward Masen are detectives with two completely different styles, but when a girl goes missing and their paired together; will they be able to set aside their differences and find the missing girl, or will it be too late? AU All human.


• AU. NM. About a year after the Cullens left, Bella was changed. How will she deal with being a newborn and all alone? Or will she be alone for long? And if not, who will be there to help her?


• When Bella, a gymnast, takes a big fall at the nationals, her career could be ruined. She decides to turn over a new leaf and move cross the country where drama awaits her. There she mets the mysterious Cullen Family. OOC R&R!


• You promised to stay with each other forever, even after death. But one when of you is changed into a vampire, what becomes of the other? Vulnerable? Normal Pairings. Hopefully better than the summary.


• Bella's a dancer. Edward Cullen is a figure skater, looking for a partner. They might just each be what the other needs. Teaching Bella to skate and Edward to dance might be hard, especially since they can't stand being the same room most of the time. AU. -- I LOVE ALL THESE FICS MAKING BELLA A DANCER OR GYMNAST WHEN HER SOLE PERSONALITY TRAIT IS BEING A KLUTZ


• I sat there reading the note over and over: Emmett, I have your Rose. Don't worry you'll get back the ashes. Royce King the Second.


• What happens when Bella/Balin decides to go to a sporting school for exceptional young boys? And when you give Balin a pair of Chuck Taylors and a basketball? All will be revealed! All Human, OCC. T- maybe for language.


• bella left her younger sister in phenix and afer the whole james thing she comes to forks jacob is a wearwolf better than summery


• Bella Swan has to move in with her father after her house burns down killig her mother and leaving her scarred and depressed making her boyfriend break up with her. But What happens when she meets the cullens, mostly Edward? Full summary inside -YOU NEED MORE THAN THAT? 
  


• i thought i knew what love was. until i was left alone. in the cold dark room. used and broken. i believed and promised myself that every man was the same as him. until i met edward cullen. he turned my life around.Should i let my guard down for him?


• The title says it all lol! was how to make renesemse mad.


• POST NEW MOON! After Edward left Bella, she was broken. Now after years, she is back a VAMPIRE! But not alone... This is NOT the original! Please r&r


• Bella steps into car arena with the most dangerous car criminals and is taken as a slave to their king; she's the daughter of the most important man. what lengths will Edward take to make her stay with him? capture and torture? LEMONS-DARK/DOMINANT EDWARD


• Bella loves racing cars. But Charlie, her dad, doesn’t approve of this dangerous sport. Her older brother Emmett enters her in a Championship Race. But, Bella has to keep her identity a secret. Then she meets Edward Cullen. DRAMA! --DID ANYONE ELSE IMAGINE THE LAST LINE IN LAUREN CONRAD'S VOICE?


• AH: What if Bella never meets Edward or Jacob, and is unable to find love? Well, she looks for a little push in the right direction by going on the reality show The Bachelorette. Will she find her soul mate, or get her heart broken? Read to find out!


• Bella,Rose,and Alice are Michael Jackson's daughters. While they relax b4 college, Michael get 3 new butlers who need a job. Will it be love at first sight or is a remember the time experi. all hum. BXJ rated t for now but lemons later.


• Edward is a slave. His master always hurts him but one day he gets sold. His new master, Charlie Swan, is just as cruel as his other one. The same day he meets his new master's dauhter, Bella, and falls head over heels for her. She loves him back... B/E


• FIRST STORY EVER! Get Me Out Of Here is hard to explain just click on the first chapter and you will see how AMAZING IT IS! LOL. Please read and review!


• Sadie Ryans is a avergage girl. When her friend Kelsey gives her a charm bracelet she finds herself lost in the world of twilight. I mean literally IN it. What will happen when everything gets muddled up? T for saftey!


• the "three musketeers" POV when they first saw wonderful Renesmee.


• I am a vampire. But I am unique. I am immune to human blood, my mind is shielded, I can see the future, I have human qualties and I can spin webs. Like Spider-man. My parents were murdered and to keep the city safe. I am going to become Spider Girl. Bella


• this is a one shot on what bella might have been thinking when edward told her that he didn't want her anymore.awww.


• Bella,Rose,and Alice are sisters in a band.Their rivals Edward,Emmett, and Jasper end up their opening act. But what if both bands have a secret that the other band can't find out about.Secrets are hard to keep in the game of love. NOT HUMAN!


• E/B have been given one final school project. How 2 be parents.The gang is paired off 4 a month can their friendship last through this?Secrets, jobs, drunken mistakes, BABIES how far can friendships be pushed? Is love enough?AH NOMINATED 4 2 CULLEN AWARDS


• What does everyone do when Carlisle and Esme have to do a double shift at the hospitle? Have a game night, duh! all teens included, NO PARENTS!


• So Mary Alice was this happy little girl who had dreams that somehow would come true. What happens when one day she has a too scary dream and is taken to a crazy people asylum all because a certain man starred in it and did unimaginable things.


• Edward is a feared Mobster. Bella is a struggling and poor new kid from Pheonix whos father gambels and drinks and mother died. What happens when Edwards sees the poor yet beautiful bella? What happens when Bella falls for a killer? ALL HUMAN! ExB


• Bella is a new vamp is Forks! she gets blood from Carlisle that was donated to the hospital, and has Victoria after her for revenge, and the Volturi for her gift! Fun, FUn, FUN!


• If you think life isn’t fair, you should try being dead.


• Sofia has always dreamed of being the one and only object of Edward Cullen's adoration and love. But of course that will never happen. One night will have to do. Oneshot. Sappy smut. No lemon. Written in 09. Possible expansion, who knows... --LEMON?  IS THIS A NEW KINK I DON'T KNOW ABOUT? NOT SURE I WANT TO...


• 4th Grade Summer:Charlie and Bella move to Phoenix. 5th Grade:One of the boys Fights.6th Grade Summer:Renee wants Bella back.8th Grade summer:Sent back to Charlie,Surprises,Off to Boarding School. Summery Insde. A/H


• Bella is abused at home. But one day she goes to nyc and everything changes. She wakes up in a hospital, and finally runs away. She meets new people, and is finally happy. Soon she meets the Cullens, and falls for Edward. Bella is a rockstar.


• Dreams don't come true right? Wrong! Bella Swan, a telepath with a destiny, starts getting disturbing dreams after she meets Edward Cullen. What she doesn't know is that the dreams are just the first signs of her destiny. Better than sounds!