TV REACTION POOOOOOOST
Spoileriffic, obv.
American Idol
Archie
Our new VFTW poster boy did not let us down tonight (BTW, I really wish I'd screencapped when it was "vote for the stoned" *is sad*). The first song--I don't even remember what it was, which shows how memorable it was--was a power ballad that he sang well. It was like every other good performance he ever gave. But the second song--hoooooooo, beezy. Highlight of the night! As my good friend paperpieces5 would say, bawkward! I honestly don't know if I could sum it up better than the recap on VFTW's front page, so I'll just copypasta:
David then panders for VFTW votes by completely butchering Chris Brown’s “With You.” First Chris is forced to duet with Jorbacca, then you do this to his song. Why does thy hate Chris Brown so, Idol?
And the last song... Dan Fogeyberg Fogelberg? Really? I was in a chat with skanking_easy and paperpieces5 at the time, and was like, "Dude, this kid is like a 70 yr old in a 17-yr-old's body." And then skanking_easy and I thought of that old dude on the first season of Smallville, you know, the serial killer guy in the old folks' home who fell in the kryptonite-infested lake and became young again? (Yes, that ep really is as stupid as it sounds). And then Simon said basically the same thing I just did, and we had a good laugh over that.
Screamesha
I am stealing VFTW's nickname for her b/c I am honestly unable to type the name "Syesha" without feeling my IQ drop a few points, and this is coming from someone who recaps Smallville episodes. Here I was thinking there was no way they'd find a contestant with a name stupider than Fantasia, but I stand corrected.
Anyhoozy, I have very little to say on her performances b/c I got bored and started reading Fandom Wank instead (Rabid HP fen vs. rabid Twilight fen death match on the Leaky Cauldron! Woo hoo! You know, IDK who this reflects more sadly on--Screamesha, b/c I am more amused by the wank than I am by her performances; or me, b/c I'm amused by the wank at all). Basically, Screamesha was trying to be Kat McPhee again and let's just say that after watching her, I'm really beginning to appreciate Jordin Sparks.
I could almost feel sorry for her for getting reamed so badly by the judges, but not enough to actually want to watch her again next week. It might seem like I'm drinking the h8erade, but honestly, I don't really have anything against her... she just bores me and isn't sufficiently hot enough for me to like her anyway (e.g. Kat McPhee). Once I found out everyone I like will inevitably lose, I'm just in it for the entertainment value, which Snoresha (VFTW is truly outdoing themselves on the nicknames) greatly lacks, but which Stoney and Danny and more recently Archie brought in spades.
Cookie
OK, is it shmoop night for him, or what? His song choices were almost worthy of Archie--no, I take that back. People under the age of 40 listen to the original artists. Now, Cookie is the one reason I'm still watching and taking this show seriously anymore and would vote for if I weren't so goddamn lazy, b/c he is just that awesome and pimplike, OK? I'd say he's TMTH, but baby, I would handle him anytime. OK, that was really lame even for me. Back OT, I really enjoyed his first song, even if I'm not much into the whole power ballad thing (at least not for Cookie... I like him best when he's rocking out, or if he must do a ballad, makes it a sway-back-and-forth-whilst-holding-up-a-lighter '80s-flashback rock ballad). The second... ho'shit, Switchfoot! I felt like Cady in that scene at the dance in Mean Girls, when they're like "I love this song!" "I hate this song!" "I know this song!" Unforch, I felt it was one of his weaker performances. I was wincing a bit during the beginning. He seemed more comfortable during the chorus, but I just didn't think it was a good choice for him. Too bad, b/c I love Switchfoot.
It's OK, Cookie, you're still a stud. The last song was my fave. Armageddon, yeeeahh! At least it was Aerosmith (although I'd have preferred classic Nine Lives-era Aerosmith, but I can't be picky here). The arrangement was kind of odd but it intrigued me. I think the best part was the end.
The Troika of Glory
Did not entertain me as much as other nights. Paula wasn't loopy enough (although she was getting sorta loopy toward the end). Randy was boring. Even his outfit was boring. Not enough Rymon. Simon, however, was right on, even more so than usual. You go, Glen Coco Simon.
*Mean Girls quote, for those of you who haven't gotten used to my MG Tourette's yet
In a nutshell: Archie - sang your grandaddy's favorite power ballads, broken up by a Chris Brown tune that brought great lulz/entertainment. Snoresha - was boring. Stole from Kat McPhee's wardrobe. Has an impressive wig collection and no, I doubt they were made from your Mom's chest hair.* Cookie - was a pimp. Gains sensitivity points for Switchfoot love. Either that or he was just whoring for teen girl/horny women votes, which he couldn've accomplished just as effectively by wearing tight pants. I fully support this option.
Gossip Girl
I seem to be in the minority when I say stuff like what I'm about to say, but last night's ep struck me as a lesson in Shitty Writing 101. Were they borrowing writers from Smallville or what? It was like they grabbed all their plot devices off fanfiction.net. I'm too tired/brain fried from finals to be coherent now, so I'm just gonna throw out a laundry list.
Dan - Holy fork, this is the first episode in which I have actively wanted to punch Dan in the face (or at least repeatedly smack him upside the head). I have to give it to the writers--they took who was normally one of the smarter, cooler characters and turned him into a complete dumb ass. We're talking Clark Kent levels of dumb here, and that's dire. OK, say your normally straight-edged girlfriend is behaving strangely, has been missing for a night, and finally appears at her friend's house looking totally wrecked and clearly very upset. What's a guy to do? Naturally, buy her obviously-fabricated-right-this-second cheating story and stomp out in a self-righteous huff! Then, when faced with the idea that this mysterious new chick might not be who she seems, what do you do? Ignore obvious evidence, buy some ridiculous story with more holes in it than the plot of a Smallville episode, and hook up with her! I am Dan. I R SMRT. Guess we know who's the lucky recipient of the Idiot Ball tonight! (FTR, don't click that unless you have hours to waste. Really).
Serena - OK, to be fair, Dan and Serena seemed to be passing the Idiot Ball between them, but I felt Dan deserved it more since his idiocy was just a little more idiotic than hers. First off, the whole story behind her whole "I killed someone" shtick was the biggest letdown since Deathly Hallows. After all that buildup, I was expecting something crazy, but all we got as a generic "accidental OD" story that implicates Serena just enough for her to angst about it but absolves her of enough responsibility that we can safely paint Georgina as the villain of the piece. Which is OK; she might be totally 2-D, but she's entertaining, and what's a soap without an evil bitch you love to hate? You gotta give Friday Night Lights credit--they had the balls to go through with the S2 murder plot, and even though it initially felt really out of place to me (it just didn't seem to fit in with the usual themes of the show), I thought they handled it fairly well and in a more-or-less believable manner, which is more than can be said for tonight's ep. While FNL took a good chunk of the season to work out the murder plot, we get 2 eps in GG, with most of the action happening within the last 10 minutes of the second. Laaaamesauce.
Vanessa - OK, I have this theory. I think Vanessa is really the reincarnation of Smallville's Chloe Sullivan, sent to GG for no other reason than to annoy the piss out of me. Yes, I am one of the two SV fans who really dislikes Chloe (although I'll give her one thing; she's preferable to Lois, but then, just about anyone is preferable to Lois except maybe Alicia, who I swear is the most annoying TV character ever, and I'm counting Wesley Crusher and Scrappy Doo in those ranks). Anyhoozy, let me point out the similarities:
-Sniffs around after her BFF like a puppy, but he's just into her that way.
-Has a personal style that's super-hip and "edgy," if "edgy" is defined as being colorblind whilst dressing in the dark.
-Has a passion for some kind of media--whether it be reporting, or filming movies
-Is supposed to be really cool/snarky/witty but just comes off as obnoxious/annoying
Despite all this, I still find her preferable to Chloe, b/c her personality doesn't grate as much and the writers don't devote as much effort toward showcasing how much smarter/cooler she is than everyone else. Plus most of the fandom seems to dislike her, too, so I don't have to hear from everyone else how great she is all the time. My big problem with her is that she just seems superfluous--she doesn't seem to bring anything new to the group dynamic, doesn't have any really compelling storylines, and is just sort of there. Tonight was no exception. All she really did was be a plot device that Dan ignored anyway, so I couldn't really think of any reason for her to be there except that she was in the book, so she has to be (FTR, I wish they'd stayed closer to book!Vanessa, who is a zillion times more fun than TV!Vanessa, but I am too tired to explain how ATM, sorry).
But this ep had its good points. Namely
Chuck and Blair - Gotta admit, these two are growing on me like Chia Pets. Not just the ship, but the characters themselves. At first, I really disliked Blair, but now she's one of my fave characters. I love book!Blair, so it's nice to like TV!Blair, too. And I just love Chuck. He's just so great. I love the tacky Hugh Hefner-meets-a-pro-golfer wardrobe and how he revels in being such an unabashed asshole, and then he'll come through and do something really cool and sweet, like how he's been taking care of Serena. And Ed Westwick is really good at that whole "skeezoid" vibe. Ack, I love him. /fantarding Anyway, I liked seeing Chuck, Blair, and Nate working together to defend Serena's honor. Even though I missed the trio-vs-Georgina death match I wanted to see so much, I'm hoping it might happen later. I wish there'd been more Chuck/Blair interaction, but in an ep this abysmally bad, I'll take what I can get. I also like that Nate seems to be developing more of a personality; it's nice to have something else to pay attention to besides the overwhelming pretty.
...OK, well, that was waaaaay longer than I expected, so no DW reaction tonight. I'll have to save that for later. I'm prolly just gonna dork around on TVtropes or something for a while and go to bed, and finish catching up on LJ tomorrow. Night, all.
American Idol
Archie
Our new VFTW poster boy did not let us down tonight (BTW, I really wish I'd screencapped when it was "vote for the stoned" *is sad*). The first song--I don't even remember what it was, which shows how memorable it was--was a power ballad that he sang well. It was like every other good performance he ever gave. But the second song--hoooooooo, beezy. Highlight of the night! As my good friend paperpieces5 would say, bawkward! I honestly don't know if I could sum it up better than the recap on VFTW's front page, so I'll just copypasta:
David then panders for VFTW votes by completely butchering Chris Brown’s “With You.” First Chris is forced to duet with Jorbacca, then you do this to his song. Why does thy hate Chris Brown so, Idol?
And the last song... Dan Fogeyberg Fogelberg? Really? I was in a chat with skanking_easy and paperpieces5 at the time, and was like, "Dude, this kid is like a 70 yr old in a 17-yr-old's body." And then skanking_easy and I thought of that old dude on the first season of Smallville, you know, the serial killer guy in the old folks' home who fell in the kryptonite-infested lake and became young again? (Yes, that ep really is as stupid as it sounds). And then Simon said basically the same thing I just did, and we had a good laugh over that.
Screamesha
I am stealing VFTW's nickname for her b/c I am honestly unable to type the name "Syesha" without feeling my IQ drop a few points, and this is coming from someone who recaps Smallville episodes. Here I was thinking there was no way they'd find a contestant with a name stupider than Fantasia, but I stand corrected.
Anyhoozy, I have very little to say on her performances b/c I got bored and started reading Fandom Wank instead (Rabid HP fen vs. rabid Twilight fen death match on the Leaky Cauldron! Woo hoo! You know, IDK who this reflects more sadly on--Screamesha, b/c I am more amused by the wank than I am by her performances; or me, b/c I'm amused by the wank at all). Basically, Screamesha was trying to be Kat McPhee again and let's just say that after watching her, I'm really beginning to appreciate Jordin Sparks.
I could almost feel sorry for her for getting reamed so badly by the judges, but not enough to actually want to watch her again next week. It might seem like I'm drinking the h8erade, but honestly, I don't really have anything against her... she just bores me and isn't sufficiently hot enough for me to like her anyway (e.g. Kat McPhee). Once I found out everyone I like will inevitably lose, I'm just in it for the entertainment value, which Snoresha (VFTW is truly outdoing themselves on the nicknames) greatly lacks, but which Stoney and Danny and more recently Archie brought in spades.
Cookie
OK, is it shmoop night for him, or what? His song choices were almost worthy of Archie--no, I take that back. People under the age of 40 listen to the original artists. Now, Cookie is the one reason I'm still watching and taking this show seriously anymore and would vote for if I weren't so goddamn lazy, b/c he is just that awesome and pimplike, OK? I'd say he's TMTH, but baby, I would handle him anytime. OK, that was really lame even for me. Back OT, I really enjoyed his first song, even if I'm not much into the whole power ballad thing (at least not for Cookie... I like him best when he's rocking out, or if he must do a ballad, makes it a sway-back-and-forth-whilst-holding-up-a-lighter '80s-flashback rock ballad). The second... ho'shit, Switchfoot! I felt like Cady in that scene at the dance in Mean Girls, when they're like "I love this song!" "I hate this song!" "I know this song!" Unforch, I felt it was one of his weaker performances. I was wincing a bit during the beginning. He seemed more comfortable during the chorus, but I just didn't think it was a good choice for him. Too bad, b/c I love Switchfoot.
It's OK, Cookie, you're still a stud. The last song was my fave. Armageddon, yeeeahh! At least it was Aerosmith (although I'd have preferred classic Nine Lives-era Aerosmith, but I can't be picky here). The arrangement was kind of odd but it intrigued me. I think the best part was the end.
The Troika of Glory
Did not entertain me as much as other nights. Paula wasn't loopy enough (although she was getting sorta loopy toward the end). Randy was boring. Even his outfit was boring. Not enough Rymon. Simon, however, was right on, even more so than usual. You go, Glen Coco Simon.
*Mean Girls quote, for those of you who haven't gotten used to my MG Tourette's yet
In a nutshell: Archie - sang your grandaddy's favorite power ballads, broken up by a Chris Brown tune that brought great lulz/entertainment. Snoresha - was boring. Stole from Kat McPhee's wardrobe. Has an impressive wig collection and no, I doubt they were made from your Mom's chest hair.* Cookie - was a pimp. Gains sensitivity points for Switchfoot love. Either that or he was just whoring for teen girl/horny women votes, which he couldn've accomplished just as effectively by wearing tight pants. I fully support this option.
Gossip Girl
I seem to be in the minority when I say stuff like what I'm about to say, but last night's ep struck me as a lesson in Shitty Writing 101. Were they borrowing writers from Smallville or what? It was like they grabbed all their plot devices off fanfiction.net. I'm too tired/brain fried from finals to be coherent now, so I'm just gonna throw out a laundry list.
Dan - Holy fork, this is the first episode in which I have actively wanted to punch Dan in the face (or at least repeatedly smack him upside the head). I have to give it to the writers--they took who was normally one of the smarter, cooler characters and turned him into a complete dumb ass. We're talking Clark Kent levels of dumb here, and that's dire. OK, say your normally straight-edged girlfriend is behaving strangely, has been missing for a night, and finally appears at her friend's house looking totally wrecked and clearly very upset. What's a guy to do? Naturally, buy her obviously-fabricated-right-this-second cheating story and stomp out in a self-righteous huff! Then, when faced with the idea that this mysterious new chick might not be who she seems, what do you do? Ignore obvious evidence, buy some ridiculous story with more holes in it than the plot of a Smallville episode, and hook up with her! I am Dan. I R SMRT. Guess we know who's the lucky recipient of the Idiot Ball tonight! (FTR, don't click that unless you have hours to waste. Really).
Serena - OK, to be fair, Dan and Serena seemed to be passing the Idiot Ball between them, but I felt Dan deserved it more since his idiocy was just a little more idiotic than hers. First off, the whole story behind her whole "I killed someone" shtick was the biggest letdown since Deathly Hallows. After all that buildup, I was expecting something crazy, but all we got as a generic "accidental OD" story that implicates Serena just enough for her to angst about it but absolves her of enough responsibility that we can safely paint Georgina as the villain of the piece. Which is OK; she might be totally 2-D, but she's entertaining, and what's a soap without an evil bitch you love to hate? You gotta give Friday Night Lights credit--they had the balls to go through with the S2 murder plot, and even though it initially felt really out of place to me (it just didn't seem to fit in with the usual themes of the show), I thought they handled it fairly well and in a more-or-less believable manner, which is more than can be said for tonight's ep. While FNL took a good chunk of the season to work out the murder plot, we get 2 eps in GG, with most of the action happening within the last 10 minutes of the second. Laaaamesauce.
Vanessa - OK, I have this theory. I think Vanessa is really the reincarnation of Smallville's Chloe Sullivan, sent to GG for no other reason than to annoy the piss out of me. Yes, I am one of the two SV fans who really dislikes Chloe (although I'll give her one thing; she's preferable to Lois, but then, just about anyone is preferable to Lois except maybe Alicia, who I swear is the most annoying TV character ever, and I'm counting Wesley Crusher and Scrappy Doo in those ranks). Anyhoozy, let me point out the similarities:
-Sniffs around after her BFF like a puppy, but he's just into her that way.
-Has a personal style that's super-hip and "edgy," if "edgy" is defined as being colorblind whilst dressing in the dark.
-Has a passion for some kind of media--whether it be reporting, or filming movies
-Is supposed to be really cool/snarky/witty but just comes off as obnoxious/annoying
Despite all this, I still find her preferable to Chloe, b/c her personality doesn't grate as much and the writers don't devote as much effort toward showcasing how much smarter/cooler she is than everyone else. Plus most of the fandom seems to dislike her, too, so I don't have to hear from everyone else how great she is all the time. My big problem with her is that she just seems superfluous--she doesn't seem to bring anything new to the group dynamic, doesn't have any really compelling storylines, and is just sort of there. Tonight was no exception. All she really did was be a plot device that Dan ignored anyway, so I couldn't really think of any reason for her to be there except that she was in the book, so she has to be (FTR, I wish they'd stayed closer to book!Vanessa, who is a zillion times more fun than TV!Vanessa, but I am too tired to explain how ATM, sorry).
But this ep had its good points. Namely
Chuck and Blair - Gotta admit, these two are growing on me like Chia Pets. Not just the ship, but the characters themselves. At first, I really disliked Blair, but now she's one of my fave characters. I love book!Blair, so it's nice to like TV!Blair, too. And I just love Chuck. He's just so great. I love the tacky Hugh Hefner-meets-a-pro-golfer wardrobe and how he revels in being such an unabashed asshole, and then he'll come through and do something really cool and sweet, like how he's been taking care of Serena. And Ed Westwick is really good at that whole "skeezoid" vibe. Ack, I love him. /fantarding Anyway, I liked seeing Chuck, Blair, and Nate working together to defend Serena's honor. Even though I missed the trio-vs-Georgina death match I wanted to see so much, I'm hoping it might happen later. I wish there'd been more Chuck/Blair interaction, but in an ep this abysmally bad, I'll take what I can get. I also like that Nate seems to be developing more of a personality; it's nice to have something else to pay attention to besides the overwhelming pretty.
...OK, well, that was waaaaay longer than I expected, so no DW reaction tonight. I'll have to save that for later. I'm prolly just gonna dork around on TVtropes or something for a while and go to bed, and finish catching up on LJ tomorrow. Night, all.