(Untitled)

May 30, 2004 16:23

two years and a week

it's over

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infekt_ May 30 2004, 16:49:21 UTC
i still love you so much.

and i'm so sorry that it had to be like this.

remember that quote i posted a little while ago by anais nin on how we grow throughout life? it does not only apply to us inidividually, but us as a grouping. you and i are you and i. there never is a true "us" in its truest form. and in the past two years and a week, we've grown to be two different people...

i don't even know what i'm trying to say. all i know is what i told you last night are the things you should remember. you're the longest i've ever been with somebody, and it matters. all this really is is just jibberish. i'm sorry. and it's hard for me to accept too, and i'm not going to try and validate myself with anyone, because what i did i know i did for a good/legit reason, and i hope you know that too. so i don't care if i'm on anyone's shit list, because in life, we do what we have to do. this is healthier for us in the long run; it allows us to see things from a different perspective and sometimes that's all it takes to save something.

i love you. you'll always be in my heart, and always in my mind. you're my puppy, my teddybear, and no one will ever take that spot.

it feels so empty here, at the apartment without you. and i looked over the parking lot, and almost everyone's gone. it really is lonely. and it's so empty here. and that's how it feels all over the place.

the kitties said hi, and they asked where you were. i told them you were down in des moines, and they were sad that you weren't up here to say hi. i told them you would be soon. right? i hope so. they miss you. i'll be down monday perhaps sometime to pick up the new kitty. would you like to see her and i then? i hope you say yes.

i'm sorry this turned out so long. but it's just me trying to find something sensible or coherent to say, and i don't know if i ever did in this whole ramble. but please say yes.

and i love you. i love you. i love you.

i'm so sorry.

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infekt_ May 30 2004, 16:51:12 UTC
post scriptum: please don't make this the last....entry.

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iamthefury June 1 2004, 16:56:53 UTC
and you're my only kitty

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