(no subject)
I havn't written here in over a year. And my has my life changed since my last journal entry. Life is so weird and unpredictable.but fun. definitly fun. I'm so young still and I have so much life to live which is why I'm now in the situation I am. Me and scott broke up, and I'm just kinda doing my own thing now. Its refreshing to hang out with new people, although I've known them for awhile, its just fun and everything feels so fresh. I've been having a blast lately. Its weird, August is always the best month of summer and every summer I think to myself why I didn't live summer like this starting in june. And then I proceed to tell myself that next summer will be different, and I'm going to tell myself that right now. I have no idea where my life will take me right now, I have a new guy in my life, and its still really hard to leave behind the old. I don't feel like I'm completly ready, but is anyone ever really? I'm in such a tough part of my life, but I feel what I am doing is necessary. To be honest and open, I could of married Scott. I loved him more than anything in the world. But i was only 18-19 living in such an older world and I took a step back and said wow, theres a lot of things left to do. I know it sounds dumb but just going out and partying has never seemed so fun. Just hanging out with the guys, or girls, either or is just simply fun. I can stay up to all hours of the night, have to wake up four hours later, and I still want to do it day in and day out. I have so much energy that I havnt had in so long. The past couple years I havn't had the best health, and some of those days I felt like i'd be sick for forever. I felt like I could never get over my anxiety about things, and I'm proud of myself lately. I've been stepping way out of my box. I do uncomfortable things, and most of the time it turns out really good. I don't want to be 25 or 30 and feel I missed out on things. So, that is why I am doing this.
Its kinda of fun/scary/weird/exciting to feel like I'm looking down a road and have no idea what is going to be on the way or at the end. I thought I had my whole life figured out. I had it planned to the tee. And to give some advice, its the worst thing to do. I live in the now, I hate thinking about the future, I am just going with the flow, and its nice.
goodnight
charlotte
