sophmore year
This is probably going to be one of the last (and longest) entries in this thing. Just because I want to do this so later when I'm a senior I can look back at this and be like ohh soo that's what my sophmore year was like. I mean to be honest I have a horrible memory and I just need things like this to remind me of the past. Soo most likely I will update this when big things happen in my life. Like Camp Lu Lay freakin' Lea!!!
As we all know school is almost out for the summer of 2005. Almost everyone I know is getting their license this summer and they are going to be driving around Bay (get me the hell out of this) City. I mean they are going to have a wicked awesome time, but to be honest I know the summers are where all the fun is supposed to be.. BUT!! what about during school. To be honest highschool for me is nothing like I wish it would be when I was younger. From now on I am going to try and scratch out that depiction people have about me. Because I am definitely not stupid and I know what people think about me.
Okay, so what if I do care about things like.. my reputation. I mean I don't really know who would want to have a bad one. And to me (not dissing anyone) having a good reputation is being the person everyone likes, being unique, funny, random, & doing fun things (w/o drinking) BECAUSE LET'S BE HONEST>> alcohol only inflicts people to do things that they normally wouldn't. And I'm sorry but I grew up with an alcoholic and I don't see how that is fun. So maybe that's why people characterize me as a "good girl."
So what if that is what you think. But at least I don't have to do bad decisions to keep up my so called character. I can't help it, but complain about how stupid people are. Also, whoever made the decision that girls had to do certain things to be accepted/wanted by boys. Is a retard. I mean as a recap this year:: 2 boyfriends. Matt was really nice and nothing against him at all. The other one no one really knows that I ever "dated" him. But yeaa i did, and I regret it now because tomorrow he's at prom with some other girl.. when I have my dress. It's quite sad when boys do things like this.
I guess that comes with highschool. So as of right now I am totally sticking to my freshman decision of no attachments to boys. Because in highschool they are usually dumb. But then there's those fucking awesome kids that make you laugh. Examples: Kyle Sanderson & Matt Mixer etc. I mean both of those guys are soo different. But they both are freakin' hilarious. The sad thing is Mixer is going to Tennessee next year, and after next year Kyle will be out of Western. Sophmore boys are just.. well nevermind
But it's not the whole boy thing that really makes me upset about this it's the fact that this year.. I haven't done anything. I mean I look back and I'm like ohh well what were the highlights of this year. And I have been thinking about this for a while.. so my memory would have probably kicked in by now. BUT I HAVE NOTHING. Okay I have a few awesome friends that are soo hilarious, nice, unique, & everything friends should be. But I don't see how I have no memories of this year. And when I look back at freshman year.. I don't remember anything there either.
The only things that I remember about this year is poms. Okay so maybe my life is a little pre-occupied on a whole year sport. But I won't quit poms because well let's be honest I eat. ALOT. I would be one of the fatest kids at Western if I wanted.
BUT THE POINT>> But still the weekends. I don't do anything half the time. So I don't remember too many of them. Only the really big ones like where I went to Homecoming with Matt, and Coming Home with 4 awesome girls:: Kylee, Weesh, MeaganK, and Katie Mac. Another thing is the Pistons game which was awesome. Then there's always the awesome Spring Break with Lisa Gail. I love her. And of course practices.. every practice there's a moment that is going to be captured in my mind forever about all of the girls. And I am soo lucky to have a group of people like that. OH, and of course my first time skipping with Randi Lynn <3 WE ARE SUCH REBELS. Next year is going to be bad rolling in 10 minutes late hha
Also with this year I made some new friends and just as soon as I made them I lost them. Okay God cursed me with an opinion and I say things that piss me off. Shoot me. But I have always been told to just suck it up and forget about it. So naturally I think that's how everyone else should think. But they don't and I am [as Mr. Pinter would say] human and inherently stupid. So whatever.
But the point of this whole entry was to admit to the fact that highschool is not what I wanted it to be. I mean I wasn't going to do the whole partying thing. I decided that in 5th grade. I know I am a very progressive thinker. But soo what at least I fucking know what the hell I want to be as a person. Some people are still trying to figure that one out. Some people say that this is just some sort of guard that I put up to protect myself. BUT I have nothing to protect myself from. I say things that are bitchy go for it say it back. I like to hear other peoples's opinions even though I'll just laugh it off, and forget about it in a day or two.
So I must admit. My goal for this summer and next year is to just be me. The person that the pom girls see everyday at practice. The Alli that goes brain dead half the time you're talking to me, talks randomly, has no point in what she is saying, crazy|wild|peppy|hyper|random, and well just being me. Because I realize that labels are what got me to do this whole entry, and I just had to admit to everyone interested, and that is a labeler. TO FUCK OFF
thank you.
ps. this is purely my opinion
and if you have another. I don't care
Also note when I first started typing this:: 19:12 and now it's 19:50. I love how I can randomly vent in public, and people will actually get down to the bottom of this, and be like wow that was gay. AND I STILL WON'T CARE
I would also like to say that I like the part in the song I have been listening to this whole time while I was typing goes:
" Cause you left the frays from the ties you severed
when you say "best friends" means friends forever "