fuck everything
in past entries i have been pretty optimistic [ laughs hysterically ] This time im all about the seriousness. I just made my band, FORMER band, take all their equipment ( 2guitars a rent-to-own half stack 2 mics and a couple guitar chords ) since this is gonna go all over the place let me get some main points out... I love jessicKa. I ruined it tonight my acting like a baby... its somethingi have never done. it was way worse than anything before. I know jessicKa thinks about me in a completely different way and its killing me. I am a negative person and its something i have to work on. WHY AM I WRITING THIS? because its what all the cool people do when their lives start falling to pieces... im really done with music... i lost my chance to play with some really good bands and realized i embarassed my self in front of some cool people. I things way to seriously, and cant handle jokes... i need to work on this. All i want is to have friends and a good life, but at this rate it will never happen and my futer is pretty fucking shitty. ill be in my trailer fucking my fist for the rest of my life goodbye