Movie reviews: The Wicker Man and the Wild Geese
One shitty remake and the British Expendables.
The Wicker Man
Edward Malus (Nicolas Cage) travels to the remote island of Summersile in search of a missing child.
This movie is infamous for being hilariously bad. I didn't even think that of it. I was hoping to get a chuckle from Cage's supposedly hilarious over the top acting, but it barely raised a titter. I guess it would have helped if I hadn't seen the much more superior original. The movie wasn't even so bad that it was good. It was just boring. I would have been angry if I paid more than a few quid for the DVD, but the store had however many DVDs on offer for £5. You get what you paid for. Keep to the original. It has Christopher Lee being affably evil and Britt Ekland dancing naked. But seriously, the original is one of the best British horror movies out there. If you could class it as a horror movie. There aren't any scares as such, the movie's setting is just so damned spooky. I guess you could call it a mystery movie or even a musical. Yes, there are even a few folk songs too. Mmm, beardy. The remake didn't even have that lot. Avoid.
The Wild Geese
Now, this is more like it. A bunch of retired ex-mercenaries are hired to rescue the president of a fictional nation in Africa. Inevitably they are betrayed by their employer and must fight through enemy territory to get home.
This movie is full of manly fun. The sort of manly fun that makes you want to smoke massive cigars and down glasses of brandy like there's no tomorrow. Richard Burton, Roger Moore, and Richard harris are your main stars, so it's kind of like a British version of the Expendables. Burton is the lead and is the one assigned to assemble his crack team. Before they can head off to slaughter the bad guys, they have to go through the hilariously abusive training being yelled and cussed at by a typically shouty sergeant major. My favourite character would have to be the gay medic. Sue, he's basically a camp stereotype but he kicks as much arse as the rest of the team. You actually care when characters are killed. Most movies with a whole load of characters don't really bother to flesh out their characters, but everybody in the Wild Geese has their own reasons for joining up. One of the men is a bush expert from South Africa. Seeing that they are hired to rescue an African president and this is during the height of Apartheid, you know that things are going to get awkward.
Good manly fun. I highly recommend this movie. There was a sequel, but none of the original cast returned. It was a flop in theatres, so I guess it's best to avoid that one.
Next time: Ray Harryhousen Sinbad Trilogy
The Wicker Man
Edward Malus (Nicolas Cage) travels to the remote island of Summersile in search of a missing child.
This movie is infamous for being hilariously bad. I didn't even think that of it. I was hoping to get a chuckle from Cage's supposedly hilarious over the top acting, but it barely raised a titter. I guess it would have helped if I hadn't seen the much more superior original. The movie wasn't even so bad that it was good. It was just boring. I would have been angry if I paid more than a few quid for the DVD, but the store had however many DVDs on offer for £5. You get what you paid for. Keep to the original. It has Christopher Lee being affably evil and Britt Ekland dancing naked. But seriously, the original is one of the best British horror movies out there. If you could class it as a horror movie. There aren't any scares as such, the movie's setting is just so damned spooky. I guess you could call it a mystery movie or even a musical. Yes, there are even a few folk songs too. Mmm, beardy. The remake didn't even have that lot. Avoid.
The Wild Geese
Now, this is more like it. A bunch of retired ex-mercenaries are hired to rescue the president of a fictional nation in Africa. Inevitably they are betrayed by their employer and must fight through enemy territory to get home.
This movie is full of manly fun. The sort of manly fun that makes you want to smoke massive cigars and down glasses of brandy like there's no tomorrow. Richard Burton, Roger Moore, and Richard harris are your main stars, so it's kind of like a British version of the Expendables. Burton is the lead and is the one assigned to assemble his crack team. Before they can head off to slaughter the bad guys, they have to go through the hilariously abusive training being yelled and cussed at by a typically shouty sergeant major. My favourite character would have to be the gay medic. Sue, he's basically a camp stereotype but he kicks as much arse as the rest of the team. You actually care when characters are killed. Most movies with a whole load of characters don't really bother to flesh out their characters, but everybody in the Wild Geese has their own reasons for joining up. One of the men is a bush expert from South Africa. Seeing that they are hired to rescue an African president and this is during the height of Apartheid, you know that things are going to get awkward.
Good manly fun. I highly recommend this movie. There was a sequel, but none of the original cast returned. It was a flop in theatres, so I guess it's best to avoid that one.
Next time: Ray Harryhousen Sinbad Trilogy