The want of 8-27-2008
I want to ride the tram. I also want to walk back down. I wonder what a one way ticket would be...
I also just want to be able to go anywhere and do anything that I want. I wish that I could forget about money and the security that it brings. I wish I could obtain that security with out the need for the evil green. Instead I wish the good green would be in abundance as I travel through the the lush valleys of lets say, New Zealand. Wow wouldn't that be an amazing place to see. I wonder if they have a tram... If not the baby blue water of their lakes would be enough to satisfy. I know the seclusion of Motuariki Island would be total serenity. How long would it take for me to save, and save to just then drop everything, sell it all, and leave? I mean I already feel completely lost in this world. I need to find a better place to be. A place where I can become a better self. Fuck. Have I smoked so much pot that I'm now this hippie trapped inside this person who doesn't know what he wants or where he is going? Someone who now realizes that he just wants to be free. If others can survive traveling from town to town. Place to place. Why can't I?
I had a conversation with a certain individual a few days ago. I didn't get what I wanted. In fact I only got confirmation that it's never going to happen. I accept that. I'm moving past it. I've got cupids broom and dust pan and I'm sweeping up the pieces that have been left shattered. I've got my will. And my will to better my life, myself, my...everything. And I think my willpower is going to be the only thing that can mend these shattered pieces. I have hope. because I know I'm meek just as the Two Jehovah's witness that just showed up to my door and read to me a verse from the bible (Psalms 37:10) showed me. Talking to me about the decline of the world and how when the evil is gone the meek will remain to enjoy the abundance of peace. Stupid I think, but to each his own. When the decline of the world comes it will be the strong that survive the strong being the meek individuals that infrequently pass before you now. So I kinda get where they may be coming from. But to me, maybe it'll be their meek children that can bask in the radiance of peace. It's all from the bible and a book I don't believe in. It's a book of good morals and values, yes, but it's not the law of man. It's simply another book. Written to just inspire.Today is another day of suck. But thank you Ethan and you sister... whatever your name was. For giving me a good laugh.
I also love how the people around me think that I'm to stupid to get the subtle signs they throw at me. Get real. I'm smarter then you think. I'm just lazy.
I answered a question ***JAKE*** asked the other night. "Define a true friend"
True Friend:
Someone who will be there for you, no matter the distance, no matter the problem. Someone you can tell everything to. Even the things you're embarrassed to. Someone who wont judge you, but instead understand where you're coming from. Someone who can offer you the advice and the guidance that you need in life to continue forward. Someone that you trust with all your heart can give. Someone who will listen to what you say instead of rolling their eyes when you look away. Someone who wont pretend to look like they care. fuckers. Someone who doesn't make you feel unwelcome. Someone who isn't a total bitch. Someone who can look past their own problems for a fucking flash of a second to understand that maybe others are going through some serious shit and kinda feel left alone.
Someone who can return all of the above, and so much more.
I have a few of those. And for you three I'm thankful. You know who you are. Considering only two of you can read this (the third lack Internets) and only one probably will.
I also just want to be able to go anywhere and do anything that I want. I wish that I could forget about money and the security that it brings. I wish I could obtain that security with out the need for the evil green. Instead I wish the good green would be in abundance as I travel through the the lush valleys of lets say, New Zealand. Wow wouldn't that be an amazing place to see. I wonder if they have a tram... If not the baby blue water of their lakes would be enough to satisfy. I know the seclusion of Motuariki Island would be total serenity. How long would it take for me to save, and save to just then drop everything, sell it all, and leave? I mean I already feel completely lost in this world. I need to find a better place to be. A place where I can become a better self. Fuck. Have I smoked so much pot that I'm now this hippie trapped inside this person who doesn't know what he wants or where he is going? Someone who now realizes that he just wants to be free. If others can survive traveling from town to town. Place to place. Why can't I?
I had a conversation with a certain individual a few days ago. I didn't get what I wanted. In fact I only got confirmation that it's never going to happen. I accept that. I'm moving past it. I've got cupids broom and dust pan and I'm sweeping up the pieces that have been left shattered. I've got my will. And my will to better my life, myself, my...everything. And I think my willpower is going to be the only thing that can mend these shattered pieces. I have hope. because I know I'm meek just as the Two Jehovah's witness that just showed up to my door and read to me a verse from the bible (Psalms 37:10) showed me. Talking to me about the decline of the world and how when the evil is gone the meek will remain to enjoy the abundance of peace. Stupid I think, but to each his own. When the decline of the world comes it will be the strong that survive the strong being the meek individuals that infrequently pass before you now. So I kinda get where they may be coming from. But to me, maybe it'll be their meek children that can bask in the radiance of peace. It's all from the bible and a book I don't believe in. It's a book of good morals and values, yes, but it's not the law of man. It's simply another book. Written to just inspire.Today is another day of suck. But thank you Ethan and you sister... whatever your name was. For giving me a good laugh.
I also love how the people around me think that I'm to stupid to get the subtle signs they throw at me. Get real. I'm smarter then you think. I'm just lazy.
I answered a question ***JAKE*** asked the other night. "Define a true friend"
True Friend:
Someone who will be there for you, no matter the distance, no matter the problem. Someone you can tell everything to. Even the things you're embarrassed to. Someone who wont judge you, but instead understand where you're coming from. Someone who can offer you the advice and the guidance that you need in life to continue forward. Someone that you trust with all your heart can give. Someone who will listen to what you say instead of rolling their eyes when you look away. Someone who wont pretend to look like they care. fuckers. Someone who doesn't make you feel unwelcome. Someone who isn't a total bitch. Someone who can look past their own problems for a fucking flash of a second to understand that maybe others are going through some serious shit and kinda feel left alone.
Someone who can return all of the above, and so much more.
I have a few of those. And for you three I'm thankful. You know who you are. Considering only two of you can read this (the third lack Internets) and only one probably will.