Yes I'm still alive. NO I haven't been the victim in a kidnapping rape case.
Well, well. Where do I even start. Well I guess with Frank. Like i said in my last entry ( read:) I'm done with him. done with it.
I can't take the way that he makes me feel. Things between me and him have changed. And I think they have changed to much for us to have the AMAZING relationship that we could have potentially had. I need someone more grown up. Someone who shows me in the proper ways that he does care about me. I need someone who trusts me as much as a trust them. I don't have any trust in him anymore. Maybe he feels the same way. And if so I'm obviously wasting me time. I NEED someone to be there for me with an open mind and an open ear. Someone who can REALLY get to know me with out any thoughts of judgment. I NEED to be with someone who I can open up to. Someone I can allow into my life. Someone who I don't fear will judge me. So maybe that's the problem. Looking back at it. And thinking a out it. I NEVER felt comfortable enough around him to open up to him and allow him to really see who I am. But why does it matter now? I've seen who he is. And I don't think I can love someone like him. I'm not going to say anything specific because that would take me hours to type. But that's just how it is. I wont respond to his messages. I wont read his emails. I wont answer his calls. And I WILL avoid him when I need to. I'm going to pretend that I got my three wishes and he's gone now.
So What's else is going on in my life? Hum, well I REALLY LOVE my new job. I think this is something I can do for a while. The money is alright and the people I work with were great. BUT NOW I'm moving to the new store and I get to meet a whole new group of people. HOW FUN. Maybe, I hope they all like me. Even though I'm sure they will. I guess We'll see how it goes on Thursday.
Me and Andi are back to normal now. She's talking to me and I'm talking to her and it's as if nothing ever happened.
Jenae is a bitch and I'm not talking to her anymore. She once told me that if her friends really need green she'll get if for them. WELL, when i asked her for some one day when I was really sick and nauseas and even willing to go and meet her somewhere for it she blew me off. Completely blew me off. Then did it to me again the next day. And then the day after that she said she would make it up to me but never came through. And then the day after that sent me a message saying "You know wanna get high even though you're bugged with me...but you can't be cuz you LOOOOOVE me." When I read that message this is what I Understood. "You know that you will like me even though I've blown you off many times cuz I'm going to get you high with this sack of weed that I'm dangling in your face!" Pretty fucked up if you ask me.
Then there is Bobby, my new and super amazingly awesome boy. I likes him a lot. And you know what... HE LOVES ME. I'm not supposed to know that but he's let it slip several times. But I'm not going to talk to much about him just yet.
Other then all that things in my life are fucking perfect. I can't think of anything else that I want right now. I'm no longer depressed. I've cut out all the things in my life that make me think negatively. And I'm happy.
I can't take the way that he makes me feel. Things between me and him have changed. And I think they have changed to much for us to have the AMAZING relationship that we could have potentially had. I need someone more grown up. Someone who shows me in the proper ways that he does care about me. I need someone who trusts me as much as a trust them. I don't have any trust in him anymore. Maybe he feels the same way. And if so I'm obviously wasting me time. I NEED someone to be there for me with an open mind and an open ear. Someone who can REALLY get to know me with out any thoughts of judgment. I NEED to be with someone who I can open up to. Someone I can allow into my life. Someone who I don't fear will judge me. So maybe that's the problem. Looking back at it. And thinking a out it. I NEVER felt comfortable enough around him to open up to him and allow him to really see who I am. But why does it matter now? I've seen who he is. And I don't think I can love someone like him. I'm not going to say anything specific because that would take me hours to type. But that's just how it is. I wont respond to his messages. I wont read his emails. I wont answer his calls. And I WILL avoid him when I need to. I'm going to pretend that I got my three wishes and he's gone now.
So What's else is going on in my life? Hum, well I REALLY LOVE my new job. I think this is something I can do for a while. The money is alright and the people I work with were great. BUT NOW I'm moving to the new store and I get to meet a whole new group of people. HOW FUN. Maybe, I hope they all like me. Even though I'm sure they will. I guess We'll see how it goes on Thursday.
Me and Andi are back to normal now. She's talking to me and I'm talking to her and it's as if nothing ever happened.
Jenae is a bitch and I'm not talking to her anymore. She once told me that if her friends really need green she'll get if for them. WELL, when i asked her for some one day when I was really sick and nauseas and even willing to go and meet her somewhere for it she blew me off. Completely blew me off. Then did it to me again the next day. And then the day after that she said she would make it up to me but never came through. And then the day after that sent me a message saying "You know wanna get high even though you're bugged with me...but you can't be cuz you LOOOOOVE me." When I read that message this is what I Understood. "You know that you will like me even though I've blown you off many times cuz I'm going to get you high with this sack of weed that I'm dangling in your face!" Pretty fucked up if you ask me.
Then there is Bobby, my new and super amazingly awesome boy. I likes him a lot. And you know what... HE LOVES ME. I'm not supposed to know that but he's let it slip several times. But I'm not going to talk to much about him just yet.
Other then all that things in my life are fucking perfect. I can't think of anything else that I want right now. I'm no longer depressed. I've cut out all the things in my life that make me think negatively. And I'm happy.