summary.
1. Tonight was the Holiday party at work. Everyone who came in for two hours got a free drink. These are some thoughts that I have to share about this event.
a. i made over two hundred drinks in two hours, in addition to the drinks we were making for customers that wanted something other than the damn holiday drinks. everyone was enjoying themselves but me. jane told me that i looked stressed.
b. whitley came in! summer crush to end summer crushes. she gave me a hug. fuck man, i used to be a brave little whore. did i mention that she gave me a hug?
c. i am having difficulties asking sarah out. i was perhaps mean to her tonight. audrey has joined helen and brittany on the intervening front. i just feel like i shouldn't bring anyone into the mess that i am in right now, emotionally, financially, etc. asking her out would not be good, but i don't want her to think that i don't like her, etc. i don't know what to do.
d. i broke down and told uncle fania how upset i am tonight, when we were at maartens. allison just called me. i realized that this is the first time that i've cried in a while.
2. i may be calling my parents tomorrow to see if they can help me pay my bills for a while and let me move home for a week or two. this could be huge. i am just having trouble with my life from day to day. it's not just being broke, it's feeling useless. i told fania tonight that i really just want to go to sleep for a few months, and wake up and start over.
3. i don't have anything else to say tonight.
a. i made over two hundred drinks in two hours, in addition to the drinks we were making for customers that wanted something other than the damn holiday drinks. everyone was enjoying themselves but me. jane told me that i looked stressed.
b. whitley came in! summer crush to end summer crushes. she gave me a hug. fuck man, i used to be a brave little whore. did i mention that she gave me a hug?
c. i am having difficulties asking sarah out. i was perhaps mean to her tonight. audrey has joined helen and brittany on the intervening front. i just feel like i shouldn't bring anyone into the mess that i am in right now, emotionally, financially, etc. asking her out would not be good, but i don't want her to think that i don't like her, etc. i don't know what to do.
d. i broke down and told uncle fania how upset i am tonight, when we were at maartens. allison just called me. i realized that this is the first time that i've cried in a while.
2. i may be calling my parents tomorrow to see if they can help me pay my bills for a while and let me move home for a week or two. this could be huge. i am just having trouble with my life from day to day. it's not just being broke, it's feeling useless. i told fania tonight that i really just want to go to sleep for a few months, and wake up and start over.
3. i don't have anything else to say tonight.