Tranquility.
So, I have a new home. If my vague little song last night didn't clue this, then I shall state it clearly now. Since I had to leave my old apartment, my friends Joey and Vicki have decided to let me stay here. What a relief! Although they are my friends, they've also always felt like family. The strange part about that is that I often don't have that feeling around people, especially my family.
I was really worried that since I had been absent over the past months (first in Asheville, then depressed, then with Steven) that Gabriel would have forgotten me. But he hasn't. That or he is just as approachable with strangers as he is with familiar faces.
It also makes me happy because I get to see Jaymee more. I'm sad because her baby's sperm donor has been calling about Akeem and all of asudden wants to have something to do with him. After 5 years of not being there you'd think that he'd understand that he can't just waltz into a child's life and expect to be wanted. Especially after all he has done is left and neglected that child before. Besides, he use to hit Jaymee, which in my opinion should be enough to have him put in prison for a couple years. Not that I think the world should be run with military tight precision, but the betrayal of having a lover abuse their other is one of those "horrible things" to me.
Also more importantly, My car broke down. The alternator went out and if it wasn't for Jamey I'd be stuck with no way to try and solve my problems. But she got the new part for my car and even had a friend come down and put it in. I'm still having a hard time accepting it because a gift like that is too much for me. I'm use to being referred to as the heaviest burden of my mother's life. I'm also use to being rejected and sent away by my mother and father. Why now do I have people that want to help me stand on my own? I'm mystified by it all.
I use to want to move to another state, city, town, anything. I've been wanting to get away from here to find my own way, and maybe I will. But for now I will stay. Because here I am with out a home, and yet I feel like I've finally found one.
I was really worried that since I had been absent over the past months (first in Asheville, then depressed, then with Steven) that Gabriel would have forgotten me. But he hasn't. That or he is just as approachable with strangers as he is with familiar faces.
It also makes me happy because I get to see Jaymee more. I'm sad because her baby's sperm donor has been calling about Akeem and all of asudden wants to have something to do with him. After 5 years of not being there you'd think that he'd understand that he can't just waltz into a child's life and expect to be wanted. Especially after all he has done is left and neglected that child before. Besides, he use to hit Jaymee, which in my opinion should be enough to have him put in prison for a couple years. Not that I think the world should be run with military tight precision, but the betrayal of having a lover abuse their other is one of those "horrible things" to me.
Also more importantly, My car broke down. The alternator went out and if it wasn't for Jamey I'd be stuck with no way to try and solve my problems. But she got the new part for my car and even had a friend come down and put it in. I'm still having a hard time accepting it because a gift like that is too much for me. I'm use to being referred to as the heaviest burden of my mother's life. I'm also use to being rejected and sent away by my mother and father. Why now do I have people that want to help me stand on my own? I'm mystified by it all.
I use to want to move to another state, city, town, anything. I've been wanting to get away from here to find my own way, and maybe I will. But for now I will stay. Because here I am with out a home, and yet I feel like I've finally found one.