funny
you know... i thought i would be sad if our friendship ever ended but curiously i am not. at least not yet... wait until my next big break up and ill be bummed cause for some stupid reason the only place i found comfort in after a break up was his house.
but to be very blunt and honest (which i am sure he will hate me writing this in my livejournal because i KNOW i have female lurkers who read then retell him all that i say... BTW hi Ruthie how are you?) our friendship hasn't been one in years.
i guess i have spilled the beans about something he said. eh i honestly have no idea but for the love of cheese if he said i did it then dammit all to hell i guess i did. i am sorry about that i do tend to vent a lot about him to a person... actually to think about it i vented to two people about him. my mistake really i take full blame! im sorry whatever nothing matters anymore.
truth is i feel free. i was holding onto what our friendship used to be. the way he used to be my best friend. now all i get is shit shit shit and vents vents vents and i get told how im stupid and blah blah blah life sucks. i can't handle it. for some lame reason whatever he says and does affects me a million times. because he has been really the ONLY friend i have had to be constant in my life. i was in love with the thought of having a life long friend. someone who really truly knows me like he does. but we clash beyond belief.
i can't jump thru hoops to keep him as a friend anymore. he needs space from it and i need a clean break.
i honestly can't even begin to think about how much this friendship has changed me and hurt me. i mean don't get me wrong OBVIOUSLY there is a reason i have remained friends with him. he is a great person with a big heart... for everyone but me. and i really think he will do great things and have an amazing life. i can only pray for that.
i just need to find people who will lift me up and make me a better person. not remind me of how shitty i am.
i think we just became way to comfortable with each other. it became way to easy for us to be mean and heartless with each other with out a thought. it turned very ugly.
it's better this way. he will have a great life with his great gf and i can continue to be happy with my amazing bf who has yet to ever make me angry or upset. i have to remember THATS what it's supposed to be like. people aren't supposed to hurt you in your life they are supposed to make you happy.
and i am happy.
i loved our friendship i hope you know that. but i know when its time to back down. thanks for everything you have done for me. you really have done so much and don't let anything i have ever said to you make you think that you were a shitty friend all the time. :)
but to be very blunt and honest (which i am sure he will hate me writing this in my livejournal because i KNOW i have female lurkers who read then retell him all that i say... BTW hi Ruthie how are you?) our friendship hasn't been one in years.
i guess i have spilled the beans about something he said. eh i honestly have no idea but for the love of cheese if he said i did it then dammit all to hell i guess i did. i am sorry about that i do tend to vent a lot about him to a person... actually to think about it i vented to two people about him. my mistake really i take full blame! im sorry whatever nothing matters anymore.
truth is i feel free. i was holding onto what our friendship used to be. the way he used to be my best friend. now all i get is shit shit shit and vents vents vents and i get told how im stupid and blah blah blah life sucks. i can't handle it. for some lame reason whatever he says and does affects me a million times. because he has been really the ONLY friend i have had to be constant in my life. i was in love with the thought of having a life long friend. someone who really truly knows me like he does. but we clash beyond belief.
i can't jump thru hoops to keep him as a friend anymore. he needs space from it and i need a clean break.
i honestly can't even begin to think about how much this friendship has changed me and hurt me. i mean don't get me wrong OBVIOUSLY there is a reason i have remained friends with him. he is a great person with a big heart... for everyone but me. and i really think he will do great things and have an amazing life. i can only pray for that.
i just need to find people who will lift me up and make me a better person. not remind me of how shitty i am.
i think we just became way to comfortable with each other. it became way to easy for us to be mean and heartless with each other with out a thought. it turned very ugly.
it's better this way. he will have a great life with his great gf and i can continue to be happy with my amazing bf who has yet to ever make me angry or upset. i have to remember THATS what it's supposed to be like. people aren't supposed to hurt you in your life they are supposed to make you happy.
and i am happy.
i loved our friendship i hope you know that. but i know when its time to back down. thanks for everything you have done for me. you really have done so much and don't let anything i have ever said to you make you think that you were a shitty friend all the time. :)