so much for fate..............
well as we all know ive been dragging on with this damn suspance of getting this mac job. see it all started over a month ago, two interveiws amd numerous pep talks and i actually thought the job was mine. i didn't doubt myself. i just needed that damn phone call that closed the deal saying i was hired. well i called them instead and they told me they "went with anonther canidate" reason being i lacked experiance.fine i can see that. but what makes me more furious is that she told me that i should get more behind the counter make-up experiance, and call her. she will be saving my app, and resume. WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! im not gonna wait forever to fucking work behind a major department store make up counter. who the fuck does she think i am "REYNA WAITS A LOT"? heres where the other funny part comes in. during this whole anticipation period i kept thinking "ok if i don't get this job its a sign!! ill put away my make-up tools and tricks and pick up my instruments again!!" well the past two weeks have been filled with music ideas, and the phone call i made today sorta etches it in stone. but then........as soon as nothing works out as planned i drop it. im confused, maybe that nun convent home IS a better idea. im sooooooooooooo confused. is life always this damn confusing?