I HATE bullies
Kate has had to deal with all sorts of bullies in her time. At her elementary school, she was bullied for being white. I encouraged her to understand her peers and sympathize with them, that they must be so frustrated in their home lives to lash out the way they did toward her.
Then in Middle School I had to reassure Kate that "it sucks for everyone" and that she was not alone, though she was the butt of "jokes" and "pranks" at parties and the like, or teased for having male friends, for being white, for whatever. When we arranged our school cruise to include having a nice girl stay in our *upgraded* cabin only to have that girl cruelly abandon us (and Kate) at any/all school events where they might have to mingle, and to only deign to spend time with us when absolutely required, I tried my best to smooth over any hurt feelings and not assume the worst.
Recently, Kate learned that this cruise "friend" was unhappy at her chosen high school and had requested (and been accepted to) a transfer to Kate's high school, where Kate is happy. Instead of being happy, Kate and I were both wary, unsure of what this might *really* mean. Kate attended this friend's birthday party a couple of years in a row where she was ganged up on, had gum stuck on her in her sleep, had caramel poured in her hair (after she told the party she had to leave early in the morning after the sleep over for a new school orientation) and other things. When I talked to the ONE mother of other guests I knew, she was very unsympathetic and repeated what her daughter (a constant, years-long bully of my daughter) told her... which was essentially that Kate got what was coming to her. I was NOT amused, but let it go because we flat out weren't going to be seeing these girls anymore after this disappointing episode.
Now, a year later, this former friend is having another birthday sleep-over. Kate was accidentally informed of the party due to a "mail all contacts" accident but was not actually directly invited and did not attend. Never mind, at 11:30pm they decided prank calling her phone would be fun. Not just prank calling, but a call that detailed killing and eating our pet rabbits, Fatal Attraction style and then going on for some time further shaming Kate for her choice of friends and other incoherent and unintelligible "neener neener neener"-style mockery.
Kate has had no contact with these mean girls for at least a year! The fact that they sought her out for their annual birthday-party-bullying pisses me off to no end, but the additional disgusting "kill and eat your pet rabbits" fantasy voice mail pushed me past my point of tolerance. Add to this the fact that this family still has keys to our house (from when the kids were friends and babysat our rabbits!), including a key fob that allows them to bypass our alarm system with the press of a button, and I am beyond furious, beyond betrayed, and really, really, REALLY pissed.
Fuck those little bitches. Fuck those bullies. I have the power of a parent behind me and I can only wield it for a few years more but I intend to wield it tomorrow morning. This is going to STOP. In previous years of birthday-party-bullying the girls could pretend that Kate was part of the activities until she suddenly took offense when things were (*fairly*, it's always implied, FAIRLY) turned against her, but what the hell is the justification this year?! I will have none of it. There will be no more calls to my house, no more threats of violence against my girl, no tolerance of violent fantasies against my fucking PETS. I'll be waking these mean little bullies and talking to their parents. I will be reclaiming my keys. I will NOT take any excuses... this ends NOW.
I only hope that I can rein in my rage enough to sleep tonight because I am sorely tempted to march the 6 blocks over to this girl's house and start banging on doors in the middle of the night to express just how very much this is NOT OK. At Kate's request and for her alone I will not follow my impulse to make my way over there for some well deserved shock and awe.
I HATE bullies. HATE with the passion of a thousand burning suns, HATE.
Then in Middle School I had to reassure Kate that "it sucks for everyone" and that she was not alone, though she was the butt of "jokes" and "pranks" at parties and the like, or teased for having male friends, for being white, for whatever. When we arranged our school cruise to include having a nice girl stay in our *upgraded* cabin only to have that girl cruelly abandon us (and Kate) at any/all school events where they might have to mingle, and to only deign to spend time with us when absolutely required, I tried my best to smooth over any hurt feelings and not assume the worst.
Recently, Kate learned that this cruise "friend" was unhappy at her chosen high school and had requested (and been accepted to) a transfer to Kate's high school, where Kate is happy. Instead of being happy, Kate and I were both wary, unsure of what this might *really* mean. Kate attended this friend's birthday party a couple of years in a row where she was ganged up on, had gum stuck on her in her sleep, had caramel poured in her hair (after she told the party she had to leave early in the morning after the sleep over for a new school orientation) and other things. When I talked to the ONE mother of other guests I knew, she was very unsympathetic and repeated what her daughter (a constant, years-long bully of my daughter) told her... which was essentially that Kate got what was coming to her. I was NOT amused, but let it go because we flat out weren't going to be seeing these girls anymore after this disappointing episode.
Now, a year later, this former friend is having another birthday sleep-over. Kate was accidentally informed of the party due to a "mail all contacts" accident but was not actually directly invited and did not attend. Never mind, at 11:30pm they decided prank calling her phone would be fun. Not just prank calling, but a call that detailed killing and eating our pet rabbits, Fatal Attraction style and then going on for some time further shaming Kate for her choice of friends and other incoherent and unintelligible "neener neener neener"-style mockery.
Kate has had no contact with these mean girls for at least a year! The fact that they sought her out for their annual birthday-party-bullying pisses me off to no end, but the additional disgusting "kill and eat your pet rabbits" fantasy voice mail pushed me past my point of tolerance. Add to this the fact that this family still has keys to our house (from when the kids were friends and babysat our rabbits!), including a key fob that allows them to bypass our alarm system with the press of a button, and I am beyond furious, beyond betrayed, and really, really, REALLY pissed.
Fuck those little bitches. Fuck those bullies. I have the power of a parent behind me and I can only wield it for a few years more but I intend to wield it tomorrow morning. This is going to STOP. In previous years of birthday-party-bullying the girls could pretend that Kate was part of the activities until she suddenly took offense when things were (*fairly*, it's always implied, FAIRLY) turned against her, but what the hell is the justification this year?! I will have none of it. There will be no more calls to my house, no more threats of violence against my girl, no tolerance of violent fantasies against my fucking PETS. I'll be waking these mean little bullies and talking to their parents. I will be reclaiming my keys. I will NOT take any excuses... this ends NOW.
I only hope that I can rein in my rage enough to sleep tonight because I am sorely tempted to march the 6 blocks over to this girl's house and start banging on doors in the middle of the night to express just how very much this is NOT OK. At Kate's request and for her alone I will not follow my impulse to make my way over there for some well deserved shock and awe.
I HATE bullies. HATE with the passion of a thousand burning suns, HATE.