(no subject)
I'm feeling a bit depressed tonight. It's a combination of things, I'm sure. Primarily, though, I'm having one of those nights when I realize that I have no idea where my life is going or what I want to do with it. I feel like I've been turned loose in the middle of nowhere, and I can't figure out which direction will lead me to civilization.
There are so many things I want to do, but I just don't see myself doing any of them in the future. I think the problem is that I'm good at a lot of different things, but not excellent at anything: math, photography, music, science... And then there are the things that, because of limited opportunity, I've not yet been able to try, like filmmaking. I want to make movies, but I don't see how I can gain such experience. The same goes for just about every other possible career opportunity. The easy way to go is in mathematics. I'm good at it, really good. But I don't want to do that for the rest of my life. I want to contribute something. I want to make art, but I want to make enough money to travel on. I haven't seen the world.
I know this sounds like pointless rambling, but that's kind of how I feel about my life. I just ramble from one interest to the next, never finding that one true passion, that interest that makes me want to say "I love this. I'm great at it. I want to do this forever."
*sigh*
I just wish I could figure things out. I know I'm only 20, and I still have time, but most people my age at least have SOME idea where they're going. Why don't I?
There are so many things I want to do, but I just don't see myself doing any of them in the future. I think the problem is that I'm good at a lot of different things, but not excellent at anything: math, photography, music, science... And then there are the things that, because of limited opportunity, I've not yet been able to try, like filmmaking. I want to make movies, but I don't see how I can gain such experience. The same goes for just about every other possible career opportunity. The easy way to go is in mathematics. I'm good at it, really good. But I don't want to do that for the rest of my life. I want to contribute something. I want to make art, but I want to make enough money to travel on. I haven't seen the world.
I know this sounds like pointless rambling, but that's kind of how I feel about my life. I just ramble from one interest to the next, never finding that one true passion, that interest that makes me want to say "I love this. I'm great at it. I want to do this forever."
*sigh*
I just wish I could figure things out. I know I'm only 20, and I still have time, but most people my age at least have SOME idea where they're going. Why don't I?