So out of it
Everything seems so out of hand. Never in my life have I been this...scatter-brained. It's something different. Something I have no control over. It's making me ANGRY.I don't know where or how to even start to DEAL with it. The "it" in question is something I don't know (or maybe I do, I just don't want to acknowledge it).
Two months ago, I thought I was getting back on my own feet. No, I ACTUALLY was. I'm angry that all effort I've exerted to get back on track, now, seems like they were all for nothing because I am falling again and adding a whole lot more scrapes, scars, bruises, CUTS to my collection. That's something I am not proud of.
I am not happy that something(one) has that kind of "control" on me. Where I absolutely do NOT know who I've become: a SLAVE to my emotions. Cliche but people don't know what they're talking about when they say that. They make it seem like it's all rainbows and butterflies. But it's not. People actually get hurt. I'm a living proof. That's a lie, I think I'm already dead inside because of all these...emptiness I feel.
Fucking twat shit fuck!