today sucked, but for now...
a rant:
I cry pretty much year round. But it’s worse in the winter. In the winter, as soon as I step outside, my eyes start to water. If there is any wind, even the slightest breeze-I’m done for. This has always been a source of amusement for those who know me, and a source of confusion for those who don’t. All through college, security guards were concerned for me. Random strangers and RAs were concerned for me. Every time I walked into a building I was crying. It’s very hard to convince people that you aren’t depressed when tears are incessantly running down your face.
Now of course, we have added a new factor to this lovely equation… Public Transportation. Everyone who rides the El in the morning is kind of bleary eyed. It is hard to find someone who is as bad at mornings as I am though. Not usually excessively grumpy, but always amazingly confused by the simplest things. Apparently my brain needs to warm up like an old Chevy Nova on a cold morning- idling for a few hours until I can get in gear and take off. Being at work is conducive to bad metaphors. Anyway, the point is that people already look at me sideways in the morning. Add to that the fact that I cry on the train every morning and it is no wonder that no one sits by me. (silver lining!!) Still though, its disconcerting to be the unsettling person on the El. The El has seen its fair share of unsettling people. Maybe the moral of the story is that the guy curled up on the seat, desperately clutching a box of tin foil and muttering incoherently in his sleep is just like me. Or maybe it’s just that people shouldn’t laugh at me in the morning. It’ll probably make me cry.
I cry pretty much year round. But it’s worse in the winter. In the winter, as soon as I step outside, my eyes start to water. If there is any wind, even the slightest breeze-I’m done for. This has always been a source of amusement for those who know me, and a source of confusion for those who don’t. All through college, security guards were concerned for me. Random strangers and RAs were concerned for me. Every time I walked into a building I was crying. It’s very hard to convince people that you aren’t depressed when tears are incessantly running down your face.
Now of course, we have added a new factor to this lovely equation… Public Transportation. Everyone who rides the El in the morning is kind of bleary eyed. It is hard to find someone who is as bad at mornings as I am though. Not usually excessively grumpy, but always amazingly confused by the simplest things. Apparently my brain needs to warm up like an old Chevy Nova on a cold morning- idling for a few hours until I can get in gear and take off. Being at work is conducive to bad metaphors. Anyway, the point is that people already look at me sideways in the morning. Add to that the fact that I cry on the train every morning and it is no wonder that no one sits by me. (silver lining!!) Still though, its disconcerting to be the unsettling person on the El. The El has seen its fair share of unsettling people. Maybe the moral of the story is that the guy curled up on the seat, desperately clutching a box of tin foil and muttering incoherently in his sleep is just like me. Or maybe it’s just that people shouldn’t laugh at me in the morning. It’ll probably make me cry.