40 Fandoms of Lent: Premiership Football (RP)
Premiership Football
Jose Mourinho (manager of Chelsea)
G
author's note: A few years ago, there was a Roy Keane version of Bohemian Rhapsody doing the rounds. I retaliated with a Chelsea version which is sadly out of date. So I've modernised it by using Mourinho as a central character. Um... you probably need to know something about him, but never mind: I had fun :)
Roman, just lost to Barç
Called the referee a cheat
Said in the dressing room they meet.
Roman, the cup had just begun
But now I’ve gone and thrown it all away.
Roman, ooooooh-ooooh-oooh
I will not resign
I sometimes think I’ll never be sacked at all
Carry on, carry on
Because I’m the one that matters.
I am the special one
Though I do not pick the team
(take Shevchenko - that’s what I mean)
Goodbye, all you English - you’ve got to go
Because foreigners play better, it’s the truth.
Roman, oooh-oooh-oooh
Sack me if you dare!
They all love me lots better than they love you.
I see a statue of Mourinho on the wall
On this wall, on that wall
For I really am a great one.
Action, Camera, Lighting
I am just exciting - me!
I AM BRILLIANT! I’m fantastic.
I AM BRILLIANT! I’m fantastic.
I AM BRILLIANT, I am great (great great great)
I have the best team, everyone loves me
(You’re over-rated, and we’d rather have a cup of tea:
Spare us the details of your life history.)
If I lose, it’s not my fault
(take that with a pinch of salt)
JOHN TERRY, OH - without him we’re no good (not my fault)
PETR CECH, OH - without him we’re no good (not my fault)
FRANK LAMPARD, OH - without him we’re no good (not my fault)
We have not played well (not my fault)
We have not played well (not my fault)
We have not played well
Not not not not NOT MY FAULT
Oh I’m Mourinho, I’m Mourinho
I’m Mourinho and I’m great
Beelzebub, well he’s not a patch on me you know
You know, you know!
So I keep losing matches and blaming the pitch
Or else it’s the ref - he behaved like a witch.
But, ladies - ooh, you love me like crazy
Just can’t get enough, just can’t get enou-ough of me.
I am pretty special, anyone can see
I am actually perfect
Really bloody perfect - that’s me.
Anywhere that God goes…
Jose Mourinho (manager of Chelsea)
G
author's note: A few years ago, there was a Roy Keane version of Bohemian Rhapsody doing the rounds. I retaliated with a Chelsea version which is sadly out of date. So I've modernised it by using Mourinho as a central character. Um... you probably need to know something about him, but never mind: I had fun :)
Roman, just lost to Barç
Called the referee a cheat
Said in the dressing room they meet.
Roman, the cup had just begun
But now I’ve gone and thrown it all away.
Roman, ooooooh-ooooh-oooh
I will not resign
I sometimes think I’ll never be sacked at all
Carry on, carry on
Because I’m the one that matters.
I am the special one
Though I do not pick the team
(take Shevchenko - that’s what I mean)
Goodbye, all you English - you’ve got to go
Because foreigners play better, it’s the truth.
Roman, oooh-oooh-oooh
Sack me if you dare!
They all love me lots better than they love you.
I see a statue of Mourinho on the wall
On this wall, on that wall
For I really am a great one.
Action, Camera, Lighting
I am just exciting - me!
I AM BRILLIANT! I’m fantastic.
I AM BRILLIANT! I’m fantastic.
I AM BRILLIANT, I am great (great great great)
I have the best team, everyone loves me
(You’re over-rated, and we’d rather have a cup of tea:
Spare us the details of your life history.)
If I lose, it’s not my fault
(take that with a pinch of salt)
JOHN TERRY, OH - without him we’re no good (not my fault)
PETR CECH, OH - without him we’re no good (not my fault)
FRANK LAMPARD, OH - without him we’re no good (not my fault)
We have not played well (not my fault)
We have not played well (not my fault)
We have not played well
Not not not not NOT MY FAULT
Oh I’m Mourinho, I’m Mourinho
I’m Mourinho and I’m great
Beelzebub, well he’s not a patch on me you know
You know, you know!
So I keep losing matches and blaming the pitch
Or else it’s the ref - he behaved like a witch.
But, ladies - ooh, you love me like crazy
Just can’t get enough, just can’t get enou-ough of me.
I am pretty special, anyone can see
I am actually perfect
Really bloody perfect - that’s me.
Anywhere that God goes…