(no subject)
Im sitting here and my brother is writing up his schedule for college next year, what classes to take, when to schedule them, etc. and I am really excited about this whole college ordeal. I was worried that maybe I wasn’t going to like the school I was going to (Fairfield) or I would hate the classes I was going to take, but the more I think about it the more excited I get. I get to spend time away from my family and do pretty much whatever I want ( which will be an entirely new thing for me considering I have been held hostage for 17 almost 18 years by my mom) and I get to make mistakes that Im sure I will regret and do lots of stupid things. But I have been waiting to do these stupid things ever since my parents and I first dropped my brother off at his college ( Scranton)for the first time that 2 years ago. I will not forget the tears that were in my mothers eyes when we were driving away or the slight quiver in my brothers voice when he said goodbye for the first time. He was now all by himself in this scary ( for him) college world. He was always the good boy who always did what my mom told him to. I was the semi rebel who broke out in my senior year and was sick of my parents telling me what to do. So this new life of being by himself was a scary idea to him. But now I hear from some sources that he is a party boy and has lots of fun in college. So for him he changed into the sort of wild boy from his secluded life at home. Does this mean that I am going to be wilder in college or am I going to become like the person he used to be, doing whatever I am told and what is “right”? I don’t want to be like that, and I honestly don’t think I will be but a person never knows. What happens if I don’t make any friends and sit in my room and have no college life? I hope this does not happen, and I do not think it will but who knows…when I leave my parents on that first day of college and I am really on my own for that first time, will there be a slight quiver in my voice like there was in my brothers? Or will I be happy and ecstatic? If you were to ask me that question today on this Easter day, March 27, 2005, I would reply, yes I am going to be ecstatic and wanting my parents to leave and want to be on my own for once. But who knows if I will really be like that on that day? Who knows if I will hate college? who really knows anything about what the future will bring? Who will be happy and who will hate every minute of their college career? Who will be like my brother? Who will be like me? I guess everyone will just have to wait and take everything step by step day by day and see what the future brings. No one can predict the future but we can all think about how we would like it to be.
Happy Easter
Happy Easter