ZOOBILEE CATHARSIS
Always had this love/hate relationship with Zoobilee Zoo. Hadn't thought about it in years till today; and looking back on the pictures i'm reminded the relationship was mostly hate.
Something about the characters depressed me. Their energy always seemed sickeningly sweet and even as a young kid i felt bad for the actors and found them intensely weird. Especially Mayor Ben, with Bill Der Beever and Van Go Lion coming in a close second.
Even then, i knew the humans behind the masks were sexual beings. Let's face it, that's the scariest part of childrens programming. Go ahead and sexualize one of those creatures above, you'll see what i mean. They turn into pedophiles and freudian monsters.
I'd cry at night thinking about how long an eternity in hell would be, read reread and highlighted 'The Big Book of Facts' till it fell apart, got migraines that made me throw up and pass out if i got too excited about going on trips, peed all over myself when i'd laugh too hard.
Got depressed from Zoobilee Zoo. That's the kind of kid i was. Thanks for nothing, Mayor Ben.