The Worth of Every Breath ~ Frank/Gerard
Title: The Worth of Every Breath
Author : slashxyouxup
Pairing: Frank/Gerard
Rating: NC17
Summary: It’s Christmas time at the Iero - Way household. Part of soldier!verse. 8k+.
Warnings: Language. Sex. Mentions of war and medication.
Disclaimer: Writers lie - just like your parents.
Last part of Soldier!Verse, guys. Much love to xoxxblitz7 and mcrnut, who forced me to write this whole thing in the first place.
Written for the 'holidays' prompt on my schmoop_bingo card.
The Worth of Every Breath
“So, how are you feeling today, Frank?” Frank leans back in his far too comfortable seat, feeling as though the soft cushions are going to swallow him up at any moment. He knows that’s nonsense, but he squeezes the arms just in case. Ellen, the middle aged shrink that the NJMD appointed to visit him every week, sits waiting for his answer. He hates that question. It’s basically the same as “How are you doing?” except it’s not. She wants to talk about his feelings, she always wants to talk about his feelings. And not the good ones, like how it feels when his daughter hands him her latest painting with a triumphant grin, or how it feels when his husband holds him close at night, kissing the backs of his shoulders and whispering that he loves him. No. She wants to talk about the shit ones. Like how it feels to know that it’s basically his fault two of his troupes didn’t make it home, or that he’s thinking of giving up the only career he’s ever known and truly loved. So, yeah, he hates that question.
“Fine,” he says quietly. She raises an eyebrow, continuing to look at him expectantly like she wants him to elaborate - but he doesn’t. She nods and hums to herself before jotting something down on her clipboard. He hates that fucking clipboard.
She pulls answers, like blood from a stone, for another twenty five minutes before she finally takes off her glasses and picks up her bag. Frank feels like the bell has just gone on a Friday afternoon, and he can’t wait to run home, read some comics and listen to some punk tapes. Except he already is home, and instead of punk tapes and comics he’s got an overly excited (almost) three year old and a husband.
“I’ll see you in a few weeks,” she says as Frank shows her to the door. “Have a nice Christmas.” He smiles weekly and half waves her off. He closes the door and sighs. Fuck. He totally forgot its Christmas next week.
He’s not sure how he’s managed to forget. Scarlet’s spoken of nothing else for the past month. The other day she had a long debate with herself on why it’s ok to love Santa more than the Tooth Fairy. Plus, she’s already circled whatever’s caught her eye in every catalogue and magazine in the house, whether it’s for sale or not. Hence why Frank walked in to the living room yesterday to see Scarlet pouting with one of Mikey’s FILM magazines in her hands as Gerard complained “But, Sweetie. I can’t afford to buy you a Nimbus 2000!”
Scarlet’s in the back yard right now, in fact, dressed in her bobble hat and woolly mittens with a bucket of coloured chalk, drawing out her own ‘Stop’ sign for Santa so he can see it from his sleigh. She looks up with a huge grin and rosy cheeks when Frank pulls open the back door. “Hi daddy,” she calls, wiping her red nose on the back of her mitten. “I almost finished!” and she points to the sign. “Wanna help?”
“Sure,” he smiles, reaching behind the door to grab his coat and gloves.
It’s getting dark when Gerard appears from his basement studio, paint on his hands and in his hair. He wipes his hands on his jeans and peeks around the living room. Walking in to the kitchen, he hears laughter coming from the backyard, and peers out of the kitchen window. Frank’s sat in the snow behind the cleared slab of concrete, now coloured with Scarlet’s chicken scratch chalk strokes. Scarlet’s in Frank’s lap, pointing at different parts of their picture as Frank adds his own little touches. He taps on the window and both his daughter and husband look up, matching grins and cheeks. Gerard laughs and pushes the window open. “Last one in doesn’t get any marshmallows on their hot chocolate…” they both scramble for the door.
When Frank gets back from carrying Scarlet up to bed, Gerard’s got a few of the catalogues sprawled out in front of him on the coffee table. “Someone really needs to teach our child the concept of money,” he sighs.
“What, you mean we can’t afford a Nimbus 2000 and a TARDIS?” Frank laughs, picking up one of the catalogues and flopping down next to his husband.
“It’s going to be a tough decision,” Gerard muses with a grin before closing the FILM magazine and throwing it back on to the table. He sits back on the couch and rubs his bare feet along the side of Frank’s leg, warming his cold toes. “And what would you like Santa to bring you this year?” Frank licks at his bottom lip and smirks.
“I already have everything I want,” he replies, rubbing a warm hand over Gerard’s foot.
“Aww,” Gerard laughs, rolling his eyes. “So you don’t want that limited edition Alien box set I saw you eyeing up the other week?”
“Well…” Frank trails. Gerard grins and leans over to kiss Frank’s cheek. He’s already got the box set. It’s been stashed under his side of the bed for about two weeks now. Frank pulls Gerard in by the collar of his t-shirt and kisses him, pecking at his lips before pulling Gerard down on top of him.
Frank likes the comforting feeling of Gerard’s weight settling on top of him, their legs entwined and lips locked. It makes Frank think of years ago, when they used to lie exactly like this, kissing and groping like nothing else mattered. Sometimes Gerard looks at him like they’re twenty again, like he wants to devour him and like they’ve got all the time in the world. Frank laughs to himself just as Gerard moves on to his neck. He glances up.
“I didn’t think this was a ‘ha ha’ moment?” Frank grins and runs his fingers through Gerard’s hair.
“It’s not. I was just thinking about when we were young.”
Gerard arches an eyebrow. “Were? I think we’re a fair few years away from a free bus pass, Frank.”
“Yeah, but sometimes your knees crack during sex…” Gerard punches Frank in the shoulder, but he’s too busy laughing to push Gerard away. “You need to work on your foreplay, asshole.”
“Right after we work on your dirty talk, fuck nut,” Gerard replies. Frank’s still giggling, but he stops kiss Gerard’s forehead softly.
“I love you,” he whispers.
Gerard smiles. “I love you too…weirdo.”
Frank kisses Gerard’s face all over for a while, pecking at his cheeks, lips and eyebrows until Gerard pulls back a little and licks up Frank’s cheek. Frank scrunches his nose. “You spend too much time with Scarlet.” Gerard smiles and nuzzles Frank’s neck. “Oh, before I forget. We’re going to my grandparent’s tomorrow.”
Gerard groans. Normally, he’d be thrilled about going to see Grandma and Papa Iero, but they’ve not been on the best of terms lately.
When Frank went missing, Gerard didn’t tell anyone other than Mikey, and Mikey only knew because he found Gerard on the floor that day. It was only NJMD’s job to inform next of kin, and it honestly didn’t even cross Gerard’s mind to tell anyone else. He just dragged himself in to his own little world and stayed there, barely functioning until Frank was found. It wasn’t until Frank got back that any of their family even knew he’d been missing. Gerard’s yet to talk to the Iero’s directly, but from the messages they’ve been passing to him through Frank - they’re not too pleased. And really, he doesn’t blame them. He’s sort of surprised Frank’s been so ‘cool’ about the whole thing, that he actually understands.
“Ok…” Gerard trails, avoiding Frank’s eyes.
“Gerard,” Frank says sternly, grabbing Gerard’s chin and forcing him to look Frank in the eye. “You are going tomorrow. Sure, they’ll get pissy with you and tell you how wrong you were and how right they are - they’re parents. No, worse, they’re grandparents. But then they’ll get over it, for Scarlet’s sake if no one else’s, and everything will be back to normal.”
“But-” Frank covers Gerard’s mouth with his hand.
“No buts. They’ll forgive you because they love you, and because I love you. Besides, I’m alright. Everything’s ok, isn’t it?” Gerard nods slowly. “Yes, it is. So I think you should take me to bed now,” he continues, wrapping his arms around Gerard’s neck. “And I think you should kiss me until I fall asleep.”
Gerard laughs. “Ok,” and so he does.
-*-*-
Frank’s woken from a nightmare that night, sweating and almost crying with Gerard’s arms wrapped tightly around him. “It’s ok,” he whispers softly, kissing all over Frank’s face. “It’s ok, I’m here. You’re safe,” and he repeats this over and over again until Frank finally settles down.
“Their faces,” is all Frank can say, because that’s all he can see. Just bloodied, scared faces staring at him, emerging from the dark and getting closer and closer like they’re going to consume him.
Gerard cups Frank’s jaw and kisses him softly back in to silence.
-*-*-
At 10am Frank pulls Scarlet out from under her covers. “No, daddy,” she laughs. “Sleepy time.” Frank drops her down on the bed and blows raspberries on her stomach. She giggles and kicks at the covers, shaking her head and crying out with laughter “Daddy! No! Daddy! I’ll get up!”
Frank stands back up straight and points a finger at her nose. “You promise?”
“Promise,” she grins, hooking her pinkie finger around his.
“We’re going to see Nana and Papa Iero today,” he tells her. She bounces on her bed, balling her fists in excitement. “You gonna help me pick out your outfit?”
“Yeah!” she shouts, and Frank mimics her before picking her up, swinging her around a few times and then setting her back on the floor. She stumbles to her dresser in zigzag patterns to rifle through her drawers.
When they get in to the kitchen, Gerard’s setting down a bowl of cereal. Frank picks Scarlet up and sets her down on her chair. She grins up at her parents and grabs at the spoon. On his way to the fridge, Frank feels Gerard’s hand on the small of his back.
“You ok?” he asks, referring to last night. Frank smiles weakly and nods before leaning in to kiss Gerard’s cheek quickly.
“Super,” he replies. Gerard only wishes he could say the same, because something heavy is sinking in his stomach, and he feels like he’s about to get told off by the principal or his parents.
-*-*-
Grandma Iero is waiting at the door when they pull in to the drive way. Scarlet’s already waving and shouting “Hello, Nana!” from her car seat in the back, and he’s glad that she’s too busy waving back to maybe glare at Gerard. Frank unbuckles Scarlet from her seat and lifts her out; setting her down on the drive so she can stumble her way excitedly up to the door. Grandma Iero scoops her up in both arms and presses big fat lipstick kisses to her cheeks.
“Hello, little one,” she says. “I’ve missed you.” It’s barely been a week since she last saw Frank and Scarlet, but she hasn’t seen Gerard since before Frank went missing. He knows he’s not going to get the same greeting. She grabs Frank by the back of the neck and kisses his forehead. “Bambino,” she says softly, hoisting Scarlet up her hip. When her eyes fall on Gerard, her lips tighten. She nods, “Gerard.” And Gerard nods back.
When she disappears in to the house with Scarlet, Frank grabs at Gerard’s hand and squeezes it. “It’ll be fine,” he assures his husband. Gerard only wishes he could be so sure himself.
Inside, Scarlet’s climbing all over Papa Iero, giggling as he tickles her. She tries to scramble away, but he pulls her by the waist on to his lap and tickles her some more. “Surrender!” laughs Papa.
“Never!” Scarlet shouts. Finally, he ceases tickling and hugs her close. “Hi, Papa,” she grins.
“Little one,” he smiles, kissing all over her face. “You’re getting so big.” He kisses her again and sets her down as he sees Frank and Gerard in the living room door way. “Don’t just stand there,” he tells them and they shuffle in to the room, Gerard staying behind Frank. Papa Iero stands and cuffs Frank softly on the jaw. “You look better.”
“I feel better,” Frank replies as his hair gets ruffles. “Just taking it day by day.”
“Good,” Papa nods. “It’s nice to know,” and he shoots a stern look at Gerard that makes him want to sink back in to himself.
Frank sighs and rolls his eyes. “Scarlet, why don’t you go in to the dining room and set up your doll’s house?”
Her eyes light up. “You gonna play?” Frank smiles sweetly at her and nods.
“I sure am, princess.” She claps and runs off in to the next room. Frank waits until he can hear the box of doll things being tipped out on the floor before he swings around quickly. “We’re sorting this out now,” he says.
“Frank,” Papa Iero starts, but Frank holds up his finger.
“No, Papa. Whatever you’ve got to say to Gerard, you say it to him now and just get it out. I want this out of the way as quick as possible.”
Papa opens his mouth as if to say something, maybe to argue, but he closes his mouth again and presses his lips together. “You’re too much like your mother sometimes,” he says before shifting his gaze to Gerard. “You were selfish,” he says. “My grandson was missing and my granddaughter was hurting. The least you could have done was told me.”
“I’m sorry,” Gerard says softly, because he doesn’t know what else to say.
“We could have helped,” he continues. “We could have taken Scarlet for a while, or anything else you needed doing. We could have been there for you, but you shut everyone out.”
“I’m sorry,” Gerard says again. “I really am, but I couldn’t even think straight. I couldn’t breathe properly. If anything I didn’t want anyone else to feel like that.”
“Your daughter did,” Papa says quickly, and it hits Gerard square in the chest. “She was hurting and so were you.”
“We had Mikey…” Gerard offers, but Papa shakes his head.
“I know, and I’ll thank him next time I see him. But we should have had the chance to go through it with you. If anything we deserved it.”
“I don’t know what else I can say other than I’m sorry,” Gerard says quietly. “I just wasn’t myself, I wasn’t functioning properly. You know I’d never intentionally keep anything from you. I love you both.”
Papa sighs and reaches out to lay a hand on Gerard’s shoulder and squeeze gently. “I know that, son. We love you too; you’re part of our family. You make my grandson so happy and you’ve given me a wonderful great granddaughter,” he says. “I understand, really, I do. But please just remember that we may be old and almost completely senile, but we’re always here for you,” he smiles softly and Gerard smiles back. Frank’s already grinning, and he pulls them both in to a big hug. Gerard’s not sure if that’s an Italian thing or just an Iero thing - he’s just glad it’s a thing.
The Iero’s feed them a huge lunch and spend the day laughing, eating and playing with Scarlet. They plan Christmas day and the days which follow, talking about fantastic traditional dinners and extended family. Gerard feels like a huge weight has been lifted from his chest, and he truly enjoys the rest of their time there. Frank keeps looking over at him, smiling and taking his hand (if he’s close enough).
-*-*-
They’re pulling out of the Iero drive way when Frank’s cell starts ringing. He answers quickly, mumbles a few words and ends the call as quickly as he’d answered. Gerard raises a questioning eyebrow. “That was the chemist,” he says. “Meds are in,” he finishes and then presses his lips together.
Gerard nods, “Okay.”
“Yeah…” Frank trails, not really talking to anyone as he glances out of the passenger side window. He’s been on anti-depressants and sleeping tablets since he first got back. He hates them, he hates them more than he hates that damn shrink because if anything, they just make things worse. The sleeping tablets just encourage the dreams and sometimes the anti-depressants make him feel so numb, like he doesn’t exist. He lowered his dosage himself after the first week of not being able to feel anything. He wants them gone, completely out of his body and life, but the doctors tell him that could be a catastrophic idea.
Gerard pulls up in front of the chemist and Frank hops out. Scarlet watches him out of the window and waves, even though Frank doesn’t see. Gerard sighs and smiles at Scarlet through the rear view mirror. “You wanna put on a fashion show with your Barbies when we get home?” he asks.
Scarlet grins. “Yeah!”
-*-*-
At home, Gerard carries Scarlet up to her room whilst Frank sits down in front of the TV. He flips it on, surfs a few channels before settling on some sappy Christmas movie. He tucks himself in to the corner of the couch, kicks off his shoes and stays there.
From the middle of the stairs, Gerard watches Frank. He smiles softly as Frank glances up and mouths “I love you.” Frank smiles back. From her room, Scarlet shouts down. Gerard sighs, blows Frank a kiss and turns on the step. “I’m coming,” he shouts back. “But this time I get to be Tyra Banks!”
-*-*-
Frank checks on Scarlet before going to bed himself. She’s sleeping peacefully, making content little sounds as she snores away. Frank smiles in the doorway before creeping in to the room and peering over his daughter. She’s got a teddy tucked up next to her; it’s only got one ear and the nose is bitten. Frank bought it for her the day they brought her home and she’s slept with it next to her ever since. He smoothes the covers over them both and leans down to kiss her forehead. She murmurs something soft and settles again. Frank smiles and creeps back out.
Back in his own room, Gerard’s pulling off his jeans when Frank walks in, sliding them down over his perfect, pale hips. Frank stands there for a moment in silence, just watching his husband undress.
They haven’t had sex since Frank got back. Neither of them has mentioned it, yet. Gerard’s just been giving Frank his space and Frank, well; Frank doesn’t exactly know what he’s been doing. He hasn’t been himself lately, and he doesn’t want to make love to Gerard being anyone other than himself, and Gerard seems to understand this which makes Frank love him even more. Gerard’s down to his boxers now, and he tugs them off quickly before hopping in to a pair of flannel pajama pants. When he’s pulled them up to his hips, he turns to see Frank watching. He blushes. “Hey,” he says softly.
Frank smiles and walks over to Gerard quickly, laying his hands on Gerard’s waist and pulling him in for a soft, short kiss. The kiss leaves Gerard wanting, and he follows Frank’s lips to kiss him again and again. “Hey,” Frank replies when Gerard finally pulls back. “Scarlet’s fast asleep,” he says, winding his arms around Gerard’s neck.
Gerard nods. “Good,” and kisses Frank’s nose. He slides his hands up the sides of Gerard’s face and nuzzles their noses together.
“I love you, Gee.”
Pushing Frank back slowly, Gerard presses his palms to Frank’s chest and lets him drop down on to the bed. Frank grins up at Gerard and takes one of his hands, pulling him down with him. They kiss for a while before Frank starts pushing himself against Gerard, rubbing their legs together and rutting his crotch against Gerard’s thigh. His skin feels like it’s melting right off of him, and he’s not sure how far he wants this to go right now, but he just knows that he wants to be touched.
Gerard seems to get this and with his lips on Frank’s jaw line, he dips his hands inside Frank’s sweat pants. Frank gasps, his eyes flying open as he feels Gerard’s lips smile against his face. He’s already half hard and as Gerard starts to stroke and tease, Frank knows he’s going to be turned on for the top of his head to the tips of his toes pretty soon. “Missed - you - touching-” Frank huffs, and Gerard nods in to his neck.
With tightened fingers Gerard jacks Frank slowly, comfortably as Frank’s hips snap up off the bed. Gerard mouths his way down Frank’s neck to his collar bone, where he bites, grazing his teeth against the tanned skin. Frank moans and fists a hand in Gerard’s hair as his stomach flips.
All Frank can do is hold on to Gerard; grip his hair and shoulders as he bucks up in to his hand. Gerard nips at Frank’s earlobe. “Come on, Frankie,” he encourages in a hot whisper. Frank whimpers in response. “Come for me, Frank.” Frank can feel himself start to lose the grip he’s had on the edge since Gerard first flicked his wrist just like that. Gerard licks behind Frank’s ear. “I love you so much, baby.” That’s pretty much what does it. Frank’s eyes fly open and he arches high off the bed, gasping like a fish out of water as he comes over Gerard’s hand.
Frank lies there, panting and listening to his heart as it thuds erratically in his ears. Gerard trails his lips softly across Frank’s jaw for a moment before sitting up and grabbing the tissues off the nightstand. Frank barely registers Gerard cleaning him up as his mind swims in a blissful state. He can feel his eyelids start to flutter. Gerard kisses his cheeks softly. “Sleep,” Frank thinks he hears Gerard say.
-*-*-
Frank feels Gerard slip out of bed the next morning, just after he kisses Frank softly. He shuffles around the room for a few minutes, dressing and twitching the curtains before leaning over Frank to smooth his hair back. “I’m going to get Scarlet ready for gym,” he whispers. “You sleep some more.” So Frank does.
Frank feels strangely light when he wakes up again. The sun is bright but not blinding, even as it spills through the split in the curtains, and Frank feels peaceful and satisfied. He feels like he’s melted in to the mattress in his sleep, and he’s not sure if his liquefied bones can move just yet. He smiles and rubs his face against the pillow. The bed still smells like Gerard, it still feels like Gerard’s there and it makes Frank feel content.
He throws the covers back and the fresh morning air whips over him. He wants to find Gerard and bring him back to bed, maybe to cuddle or talk or fool around. Maybe all three. He wants Gerard to lock his arms around him, make him feel safe and kiss him until he tingles all over. Frank wants to kiss Gerard until he tingles all over. Yeah, he’d really like to do that. He’d also like to strip off those damn flannel pants and touch every inch of him. Frank closes his eyes and imagines doing just that, rubbing his fingertips over his husband’s gorgeous body. He smiles to himself and then opens his eyes quickly, because he doesn’t have to imagine. His gorgeous husband is downstairs - just waiting for Frank to do whatever he wants to him. He sits up and swings his leg round on to the floor. On the nightstand, Frank’s new bottle of sleeping pills sits unopened, and it’s only now he realises he didn’t have any nightmares last night, not a one. There’s something bubbling low in his stomach, some want and need that only Gerard can settle.
He finds Gerard in his basement studio, sans flannel pants and plus clean jeans. He’s barefoot and smeared in paint, wearing this ridiculous blue sleeveless top he always insists on wearing whenever he’s painting. Frank waits at the bottom of the stairs for Gerard to notice him, though he wouldn’t mind watching Gerard bent over a canvas for a little while longer. He’s smudging colours with his fingertips, looking focused and concentrated with his tongue poking between his lips and paint in his eyebrows.
Frank laughs and Gerard looks up quickly. “Hey,” he smiles. “Good morning.” And Frank feels it then, some pull in his body like a magnetic force that wants to propel him across the room until he’s within touching distance of Gerard. Somehow he gets there, and he’s grabbing the paint pallet from Gerard’s hand and dropping it to the floor. Gerard about to protest a little, because it took him ages to get that red just right, but there’s something in Frank’s eyes, some look that he can’t quite explain, which silences him. He grabs the sides of Gerard’s face and pulls him in for a kiss, practically sucking Gerard’s breath from his lungs and in to Frank’s. Gerard claws at Frank’s hair, more for balance than anything, and allows himself to be shoved back on to the table. The canvas drops to the floor and Gerard quickly glances to check that it’s landed paint side up. It has and so he goes back to nibbling over Frank’s lips.
Gerard slips his paint smeared hands under Frank’s t-shirt, dragging them down his chest until Frank shivers at the slightly cold paint. Frank pulls his own shirt off before reaching for Gerard’s, tearing it off and throwing it behind them. He attaches his mouth to one of Gerard’s nipples and sucks until he squirms, fisting Frank’s hair tighter. “Fuck,” Frank grunts as his scalp twinges, his teeth scraping against Gerard’s nipple again.
“Frank,” Gerard gasps, his free hand scratching down Frank’s side. “We don’t, you don’t have to-” Frank presses his fingers to Gerard’s lips, silencing him. He looks up at Gerard and shakes his head.
“No,” he pants. “I want to. I need to…” Gerard gulps in a breath and nods. Frank starts to unbutton Gerard’s jeans as he bites down his chest, further and further until he’s on his knees, pulling the denim over Gerard’s slim hips. He’s not wearing any underwear. Frank groans and rests his forehead against Gerard’s thigh. “You’re so fucking hot,” he breathes as Gerard grabs at the table behind, his knees going weak. Frank moves his face across Gerard’s thigh to start mouthing at his cock. Gerard whimpers, one hand slipping from the table and he nearly goes over. Frank grabs at his hips to keep him steady, slipping his tongue along the underside. He doesn’t stay there for long, much to Gerard’s disappointment, but instead clambers his way up Gerard’s now naked body and back to his mouth.
Gerard grabs at Frank’s sweat pants and starts to pull. He needs Frank’s skin on his skin, he wants to smear more paint on his living canvas and mark him with lips and teeth until there’s no visible skin left. And then finally, finally there’s no more clothing, no more material and no more barriers. Gerard’s got his paint slick hands on Frank’s skin, but Frank’s too busy pushing Gerard’s legs apart to notice. He hoists Gerard up on to the table until his feet dangle just above the floor and leans in to him, catching his mouth in a sharp kiss. Gerard hums as Frank runs his palms over his thighs, pulling him forward by the hips until their cocks are touching. Frank’s losing his breath because it feels like too much to take, like he’s just going to boil over and melt against Gerard right there and then.
Frank can’t stop the high pitched whine that escapes his throat when Gerard grabs a hold of his dick and starts to stroke. He tucks his ankles behind Frank’s thighs, keeping them as close as possible as he attempts to guide Frank forward. Frank presses a hand against the small of Gerard’s back and takes over, lining himself up and pushing in quickly with nothing but paint, sweat and pre-come to assist him. Gerard hisses, but he still loves that burning feeling as he stretches around Frank, his whole body tensing and relaxing to let him in. He chokes on his breath as Frank gasps, long and slow in to Gerard neck.
“Fuck,” Gerard finally drawls when he’s full, one hand on Frank’s chest and the other on his shoulder, digging his blunt nails in to the tanned skin. He kicks his ankles against Frank’s legs, urging him to move. The pain is subsiding now, and Gerard’s keen to feel something new. Frank raises his head, his eyes lidded heavily as he smiles at Gerard through them. He pulls out a little, ripping the air from his lungs in the process, before falling forward again, his lips landing on Gerard’s as he does so. He pecks at them a little before going for Gerard’s jaw, biting at a smudge of yellow paint. Gerard bucks against Frank, taking a hand away from his body to plant behind himself on the table, exposing his neck to Frank and his eager lips. Frank’s on him instantly, biting at Gerard’s pale throat, leaving wispy yellow marks from the paint now splayed across his bottom lip. Gerard licks at it when Frank pulls back and snaps his hips again, grunting and demanding more movement.
Frank laughs softly in rushed breath before grabbing Gerard’s hips hard, pulling out and slamming in quickly. Gerard shouts something, not really a word but it’s more than just a noise and Frank makes him do it again and again every time he pushes back in. Gerard feels himself being pushed back more and more, and the arm behind him is starting to ache. He wraps a leg tightly around Frank’s waist for anchorage as he pulls himself back up, ass sliding along the paint splattered table.
“Gerard,” Frank whispers when his lips are welded to Gerard’s chest. “You feel so good.” Gerard nods in agreement even though Frank can’t see, and wraps his fingers around Frank’s hair again, pulling until they both gasp. “So, so good…” Frank continues to whisper, and Gerard grips his chin to bring their faces together, his eyes falling shut as Frank’s hips jut forward again. There’s sweat on Frank’s forehead and all Gerard wants to do is lick it off, scratch his lips against it until it stings the small cut on the corner of his mouth. He finds Frank’s eyes with his own and gives him the best I fucking love it when you fuck me look he can muster. Frank sees it and groans, “Fuck.”
Gerard throws his head back and chokes, “God, Frank - yeah,” as Frank wraps his sweat damp fingers around Gerard’s dick. His rhythm is erratic and completely out of time with everything else that’s moving, but it feels perfect to Gerard as it drags him closer and closer to the edge as his thighs burn and his legs shake, but Frank’s still not slowing down. He wants this, he needs this and he can’t stop now - doesn’t want to stop ever, just wants this room to consume them and hold them in this moment forever.
Frank’s eyes are closed and face pressed to Gerard’s neck when he feels him tighten and still below. The come hits his fingers, warm and in thick globs as it spills down his fist. Gerard’s oddly silent when he comes, but it’s not too long before he’s grabbing at Frank’s face and whispering dirty little encouragements. “Yeah,” Frank breathes, nodding and agreeing as Gerard tells him to ‘come right inside of me, fuck yeah’. Frank’s making these ridiculous whining noises and he has to bite down on Gerard’s shoulder to stop himself from making more, but Gerard shakes him off. He wants to hear them.
Coming hard and with a shudder, Frank curses violently before collapsing against Gerard, feeling light heading and spent. They stay like that until Gerard starts to feel uncomfortable, and he slowly pushes Frank back and out of him, sighing when he’s empty again.
Frank glances at the mess around them, because there really is not other way to describe it. He chews on his lip and looks at Gerard, a little apologetic. Gerard smiles and shakes his head; reaching out for Frank and pulling him back in to his arms. “Don’t worry about it,” he says softly. “This was way more important than any painting,” and he kisses Frank, slow and deep with far too much tongue - but Frank doesn’t care, he just swallows Gerard’s kiss down and clings to the edges of the now rocky table.
-*-*-
They shower quickly, rinsing the sweat and come from their bodies under the warm spray of water. Gerard mouths along the backs of Frank’s shoulders as his hands run over Frank’s now clean skin, slipping with the water until he cups Frank’s ass. Frank sighs, content, and leans back in to the touch.
When Gerard moves in a certain way, he can still feel Frank inside of him. Just a little twinge that reminds him and he hopes he feels it always.
Frank’s making lunch by the time Mikey gets back with Scarlet, just these tiny square cucumber and cheese sandwiches that she’s in love with. She scrambles in to the kitchen after Mikey sets her down and attaches herself to her father’s leg. He picks her up and hands her one of the breaded squares off the chopping board. She beams and makes an ‘Mmm’ noise as she shoves the whole square in to her mouth. “Om Nom!” she says.
“Om Nom, Nom Nom,” Frank replies, nuzzling the side of Scarlet’s face until she giggles. He leaves the plate of sandwiches in the kitchen, carrying Scarlet in to the next room with both hands. He plops her down in Gerard’s arms. “Did someone order a daughter?”
“With a side order of husband? Yeah, that’d be me,” says Gerard. Frank laughs and so does Scarlet, even though she doesn’t get it.
From across the room, Mikey rolls his eyes. “You lot are sickeningly cute.” Gerard grins at him. “Seriously, couple more kids and you’re the gay Brady bunch.”
-*-*-
It feels like someone’s flipped a switch inside Frank, because suddenly he can’t get enough of Gerard. When Gerard gets back from putting Scarlet to bed, Frank practically jumps him, kissing and touching him all over until they’re both so hard they almost can’t stand it. It only takes a few ruts against each other before they come over their jeans and Gerard’s favourite cream coloured couch throw. He complains about it for a little while, whilst they’re doing laundry, but Frank shuts him up with more kisses.
Frank doesn’t take his sleeping pills again, instead he lets Gerard kiss him until he’s too tired to think straight - let alone dream. He had taken his anti-depressants, though it took him a good five or so minutes of staring at himself in the bathroom mirror before he did, telling himself that it was ok. Sometimes people need a little help, and all he had to do was keep as firm a grip on himself as possible. And if he does start to lose touch, he’s always got Gerard and Scarlet there to remind him exactly who he is.
Gerard watches Frank sleep for a while, eyes running over his husband’s body as he checks for any signs of disturbed sleep. He can’t see any and for once, Frank truly looks peaceful. Gerard smiles to himself and lays his head on Frank’s chest, closing his eyes as Frank’s arm instinctively wraps around Gerard’s shoulders.
-*-*-
The next morning Gerard’s mom calls to make sure that Mikey brings everything he’s suppose to. His parents are at their Aunt’s this Christmas, something about a sick Uncle and a refurbished kitchen and - uh. Gerard should really start listening when his mother is talking. With the both of them away that leaves Mikey with the mountain of gifts for Scarlet stacked up in his apartment, and the task of sneaking them under the tree without Scarlet noticing. This, at the moment, is going to be a lot harder than usual. A few days ago, Frank bought her a Scooby Doo clue kit - and she’s getting way in to this whole detective things. She bobs around the house with her tiny blue magnifying glass, looking at random specks of nothing and going mmm or aha! With this set comes a note pad, and she scribbles her nonsense in it - though recites the detail perfectly back to Gerard or her Scooby Doo teddy.
“Maybe she’s going to be a CSI,” says Frank as Gerard gets off the phone. Scarlet’s just run in front of them, Scooby Doo in one hand and magnifying glass in the other, yelling something about the daisies in the garden being a little too daisy.
Gerard arches an eyebrow. “I thought you wanted her to be a chef?”
“Chef, CSI, President…I’m keeping my options open,” he replies.
“Uh-huh,” Gerard nods, trying to look as serious as Frank but he just can’t stop himself from grinning like a fool.
-*-*-
On Christmas Eve they sneak Mikey in to the house an hour or so after Scarlet’s bedtime. Mikey snorts as he passes the plate of peanut butter cookies, cut in the shape of Star Wars characters, and glass of ‘Sunny D’. “They’re the only cookie cutters we’ve got,” Gerard explains quietly as he helps his brother with the multitude of brightly wrapped presents.
“Let’s just hope Santa and Darth Vader are buds,” Mikey replies. Gerard laughs and Frank shushes him, to which both Way brothers smirk and roll their eyes.
Frank’s stood nervously at the bottom of the stairs, glancing up at the dark landing every few seconds as Gerard and Mikey arrange everything under and around the tree. “You could always help,” whispers Gerard, but Frank simply glares and presses his finger to his lips. Usually, they could have the Thanksgiving Parade barge through their living room and Scarlet wouldn’t twitch her nose in her sleep, but due to her recent Scooby Doo obsession and the fact it’s Christmas Eve, that child has developed bat like hearing.
It doesn’t take all that long to get everything sorted, and soon the living room is glittering with the sparkle of shiny wrapping paper. The three men look at their achievement and nod. “Oh, almost forgot,” says Mikey suddenly. He pulls a Santa hat from out of his coat pocket, brushes it off and rests it on Gerard’s head. “From mom. She said you’re not allowed to not wear a hat this year.”
Gerard sighs. This is all because of last year’s paper hat fiasco and his mother is now punishing him. Frank snorts behind his hand, looking completely innocent when Gerard glares at him. He fucking hates Christmas hats.
They sit in the kitchen for the rest of the evening, because it’s the room furthest away from Scarlet’s and Frank forbids them from talking above a dull whisper. They share out the Santa/Star Wars cookies and talk about the possibilities of Santa and Darth Vader actually being buds, well, Gerard and Mikey do. Frank just sits there and watches them wildly hand gesture at each other. He wonders if he’d still be able to understand what they were saying if he were deaf. Probably. The Ways are big on sign language - well, their own sign language.
“I made the bed up in the spare room for you,” says Gerard when Mikey starts to yawn. Mikey just smiles and leans over to kiss his brother’s cheek. “See you in the morning.”
“Bright an early?” yawns Mikey.
Gerard laughs and nods. “You can count on it.”
After a few moments of silence Frank sighs and pushes at Gerard’s arm until he gets the hint and envelopes Frank in a one armed hug. Frank smiles and makes a small content noise. “I like it when it’s just me and you,” he says softly, playing with the white ball on Gerard’s Santa hat. Gerard grins and squeezes a little tighter.
“Me too.”
-*-*-
Scarlet’s shrill and excited shriek wakes them up far too early the next morning. Frank grumbles and throws an arm over his face. Maybe if he plays dead he can get an extra ten minutes. Scarlet’s got other ideas. She catapults herself on to her parents’ bed and starts jumping all over them. “It’s Christmas! It’s Christmas!” she shouts. “Wake up, daddies! It’s Christmas.” Frank curls himself in to a ball, protecting his crotch from his daughter’s stamping feet.
Gerard finally sits up and grabs Scarlet in both arms, pulling her down to the bed. He hugs her tight and kisses her cheek. “I know, baby,” he says groggily. “Why don’t you go and tell Uncle Mikey?”
“Yeaaaah!” she agrees like it’s the best idea ever, scrambling off their bed and out of the room. Gerard flops back down next to Frank with a grunt. Frank’s giggling softly and he moves his head to rest on Gerard’s chest.
“Best idea ever,” he says, nuzzling his face against Gerard’s t-shirt.
It’s not even a minute later when Mikey storms in to their room, rips the covers from their grasp, pulls the pillows from behind their heads and walks back out again. Frank scowls and clings to Gerard. “All we need is each other!” he shouts.
“Get up now or you’ll need to be fed through a tube!” Mikey shouts back.
They stumble groggily downstairs to where Scarlet is already bouncing around the piles of presents, hugging the large ones and shaking the little ones to try and hear what’s inside. Mikey hands them both a mug of coffee. “Best brother ever,” Gerard says.
“I know. Now give your child a present to open before she explodes,” he replies before stalking back off to the kitchen.
Gerard and Frank sit sleepily on the floor, handing presents up to Scarlet. Gerard’s still wearing the Santa hat, and Scarlet claps her approval before giggling and tugging on the fluffy ball. It takes an absolute age to get through the presents from Gerard’s parents and Frank’s grandparents. They’ve all gone completely overboard, mostly because Scarlet’s a lot more aware this year than last. She oows and ahhs as she rips open the shiny paper, revealing various toys and pink things, including clothes, teddy bears and decorative things for her room.
She unwraps Mikey’s present, a huge unicorn soft toy, and practically dives in to the large cardboard box with it. She wraps her arms around it’s neck and coos at its large white eyes and purple eyelashes. “I’m going to call you Mikey!” she announces, to which Frank rolls around the floor with laughter until Mikey punches him in the thigh.
Frank falls asleep against the couch when Scarlet’s finished opening everything. She’s leant against Mikey the Unicorn, playing with a Hello Kitty baking set Frank got for her as Gerard and Mikey start clearing away the mounds of wrapping paper. When the majority of it’s gone, Gerard kneels down in front of Frank, present in hand.
“Frankie,” he whispers, nuzzling their noses together. Frank’s eyes blink open and he looks around, confused.
“Sorry,” he yawns. Gerard drops the present in to his hands and Frank grins, “Ow!” before tearing at the paper with the same enthusiasm as Scarlet. It’s the Alien special edition box set. Frank beams and surges forward to kiss Gerard. “I love you,” he says quietly.
“You too,” Gerard replies, reaching forward to cup the back of Frank’s neck and pull him in for another short kiss. “Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas, babe,” says Frank before biting Gerard’s nose. He then turns slightly away from Gerard, sticking his arm under the couch and feeling around. Gerard arches an eyebrow, but Frank continues to grin until he pulls out a small black box. “Aha!” he announces before handing the box to Gerard.
Gerard flips the box open, peering down at the Darth Vader cuff links that stare menacingly back up at him. Gerard looks back up with this shit eating grin on his face. “Dude…” is all he manages to say. Frank laughs.
“I thought you could wear them when you have to go to those business meetings and gallery openings,” he explains.
“You’re the best!” Gerard grins. Suddenly, there’s a thudding noise as Scarlet makes a running jump at them, landing on Gerard’s back.
“I’m the best!” she shouts as her arms coil around her father’s neck.
-*-*-
Scarlet has cookies for lunch. She’s too busy jumping all over Uncle Mikey with Mikey the Unicorn to eat anything proper. Frank walks in to the kitchen, laughing and shaking his head as Gerard put the juice cups in to the sink.
Frank’s hand appears on Gerard’s head and he tips the Santa hat forward a little. “It was falling off,” he says as Gerard turns to slide his arms around Frank’s waist.
“You like the hat, huh?” Gerard smirks, bobbing his eyebrows. Frank snorts and pulls at the soft, red material.
“You’re turning me in to a bad man, Gerard Way,” he says as their faces get a little closer.
“Thanks for ruining Christmas for me for the next ten years,” announces Mikey from the doorway. Gerard blushes a little and heads for the exit, dragging Frank behind him.
“Don’t worry,” says Frank as they pass. “I’ll still be boning your brother well in to our forties.”
“For forever!” Mikey shouts after them.
-*-*-
For the rest of the afternoon Frank and Mikey help set up Scarlet’s new pink and blue doll house from grandma Way as Gerard potters around the living room, clearing up the last of the boxes and paper and listening to his daughter giggle.
“Oh no!” shouts Mikey. “The house is under attack by the evil Unicorn Mikey space ship!”
Scarlet gasps. “Get inside!”
“Save the children!” Frank adds.
Gerard rolls his eyes. He’s not sure who’s enjoying themselves more.
-*-*-
Scarlet’s spending the night at the Iero’s house where she’ll be lavished in more presents and things which contain sugar until tomorrow, when Frank and Gerard join them for a big meal. They decided not long ago to have their Christmas dinner tomorrow, giving Scarlet the whole of today to play with her presents and her parents before they stuff her so full of food that she can’t move for the rest of the holidays. Plus, Frank really likes the idea of having Gerard all to himself on Christmas night.
It takes ages to pack all of Scarlet’s favourite presents in to Mikey’s car, and even longer to re-arrange them all so the boot will close.
“See you tomorrow, little lady,” says Gerard, nuzzling Scarlet’s nose before handing her over to Frank.
“Don’t drive Nana and Papa too crazy, ok?” Frank adds. Scarlet beams up at him with wide, innocent eyes and nods. “Also, make sure Uncle Mikey checks his mirrors. He’s really bad at doing that.” Mikey gives Frank the finger from behind Scarlet.
-*-*-
Frank makes Gerard keep the Santa hat on for the rest of the evening, because it makes Gerard look oddly sexy and Frank really likes running his hands over it when they kiss.
Frank makes his pasta for their Christmas dinner, but adds a little red wine now that there’s no under aged mouths to feed. They sit at the table to eat it, with Gerard in his Santa had and Frank grinning at him over the candle light (because you can’t not be cliché at Christmas). They drink a glass of the same wine that’s in the pasta, and Gerard makes the appropriate noises when he eats another mouthful. “Mmm. This is delicious, baby,” he praises. Frank just leans over and places a sloppy kiss on Gerard’s cheek.
After dinner they settle on the couch watching Miracle on 34th Street, because it’s on practically every channel. Frank’s got his head on Gerard’s chest and hand under his t-shirt, stroking at the soft skin on his stomach. They’ve got a blanket around their legs and Frank rubs their feet together. Gerard closes his eyes and hums. He loves Christmas.
They’re washing the dishes together in the kitchen when Gerard suddenly turns to Frank and pulls the dish towel from his hands. Frank stares, confused, until Gerard dries his hands and then launches himself at Frank, their lips taking the brunt of the fall. Frank’s hands flail at his sides until they find purchase on Gerard’s shoulders, though it does little good as Gerard grabs at Frank’s waist and hoists him back against the kitchen wall.
“Ger-Wah?” Frank tries to say with a mouth full of Gerard, but before he can think about talking some more Gerard’s on his knees, looking up at Frank through dark lashes and the rim of that damn Santa hat. He groans and lets his head thud back against the wall as Gerard starts to claw his jeans open, nuzzling his face against Frank’s crotch in the process. He’s never going to be able to look at a Santa hat again without thinking incredibly obscene thoughts.
Frank scrapes at the walls when Gerard finally gets his mouth on Frank’s cock, because he doesn’t want to knock the Santa hat off. He’s completely aware of how sick and wrong this makes him, but as Gerard starts to hum and sink down further - Frank refuses to care. He ends up with his hands on Gerard’s shoulders, bucking furiously in to his mouth and cursing with his eyes wide open.
When he comes he almost chokes on his own breath, hips stuttering to a stand still as he bunches Gerard’s t-shirt in his hands. He’s barely got time to register what’s just happened when Gerard’s face is in front of his, smirking triumphantly.
Gerard takes off the Santa hat and lands it on Frank’s head. “Your turn.”
Frank laughs.
-*-*-
The next day is all about family, and with the night he and Gerard spent together, Frank enjoys it more than he ever thought possible. The meal Nana Iero cooks is ridiculous and takes up the entire of the dining room table. So maybe none of them are going to be able to move for the rest of the Christmas holidays, but that’s ok - Frank thinks. He can’t think of anything he’d rather do than laze around the house with his daughter and husband, baking more Star Wars cookies and playing with Mikey the Unicorn.
-*-*-
Two weeks after Christmas, Frank gets his letter of departure from NJMD. He folds it up neatly and tucks it away in his nightstand drawer. He feels Gerard’s arms slip around his waist and flinches a little, unaware Gerard was even in the room, let alone so close.
Gerard presses soothing kisses along Frank’s neck. “Come on, soldier,” he whispers.
Frank closes his eyes for a few moments before nodding.
- THE END
Author : slashxyouxup
Pairing: Frank/Gerard
Rating: NC17
Summary: It’s Christmas time at the Iero - Way household. Part of soldier!verse. 8k+.
Warnings: Language. Sex. Mentions of war and medication.
Disclaimer: Writers lie - just like your parents.
Last part of Soldier!Verse, guys. Much love to xoxxblitz7 and mcrnut, who forced me to write this whole thing in the first place.
Written for the 'holidays' prompt on my schmoop_bingo card.
The Worth of Every Breath
“So, how are you feeling today, Frank?” Frank leans back in his far too comfortable seat, feeling as though the soft cushions are going to swallow him up at any moment. He knows that’s nonsense, but he squeezes the arms just in case. Ellen, the middle aged shrink that the NJMD appointed to visit him every week, sits waiting for his answer. He hates that question. It’s basically the same as “How are you doing?” except it’s not. She wants to talk about his feelings, she always wants to talk about his feelings. And not the good ones, like how it feels when his daughter hands him her latest painting with a triumphant grin, or how it feels when his husband holds him close at night, kissing the backs of his shoulders and whispering that he loves him. No. She wants to talk about the shit ones. Like how it feels to know that it’s basically his fault two of his troupes didn’t make it home, or that he’s thinking of giving up the only career he’s ever known and truly loved. So, yeah, he hates that question.
“Fine,” he says quietly. She raises an eyebrow, continuing to look at him expectantly like she wants him to elaborate - but he doesn’t. She nods and hums to herself before jotting something down on her clipboard. He hates that fucking clipboard.
She pulls answers, like blood from a stone, for another twenty five minutes before she finally takes off her glasses and picks up her bag. Frank feels like the bell has just gone on a Friday afternoon, and he can’t wait to run home, read some comics and listen to some punk tapes. Except he already is home, and instead of punk tapes and comics he’s got an overly excited (almost) three year old and a husband.
“I’ll see you in a few weeks,” she says as Frank shows her to the door. “Have a nice Christmas.” He smiles weekly and half waves her off. He closes the door and sighs. Fuck. He totally forgot its Christmas next week.
He’s not sure how he’s managed to forget. Scarlet’s spoken of nothing else for the past month. The other day she had a long debate with herself on why it’s ok to love Santa more than the Tooth Fairy. Plus, she’s already circled whatever’s caught her eye in every catalogue and magazine in the house, whether it’s for sale or not. Hence why Frank walked in to the living room yesterday to see Scarlet pouting with one of Mikey’s FILM magazines in her hands as Gerard complained “But, Sweetie. I can’t afford to buy you a Nimbus 2000!”
Scarlet’s in the back yard right now, in fact, dressed in her bobble hat and woolly mittens with a bucket of coloured chalk, drawing out her own ‘Stop’ sign for Santa so he can see it from his sleigh. She looks up with a huge grin and rosy cheeks when Frank pulls open the back door. “Hi daddy,” she calls, wiping her red nose on the back of her mitten. “I almost finished!” and she points to the sign. “Wanna help?”
“Sure,” he smiles, reaching behind the door to grab his coat and gloves.
It’s getting dark when Gerard appears from his basement studio, paint on his hands and in his hair. He wipes his hands on his jeans and peeks around the living room. Walking in to the kitchen, he hears laughter coming from the backyard, and peers out of the kitchen window. Frank’s sat in the snow behind the cleared slab of concrete, now coloured with Scarlet’s chicken scratch chalk strokes. Scarlet’s in Frank’s lap, pointing at different parts of their picture as Frank adds his own little touches. He taps on the window and both his daughter and husband look up, matching grins and cheeks. Gerard laughs and pushes the window open. “Last one in doesn’t get any marshmallows on their hot chocolate…” they both scramble for the door.
When Frank gets back from carrying Scarlet up to bed, Gerard’s got a few of the catalogues sprawled out in front of him on the coffee table. “Someone really needs to teach our child the concept of money,” he sighs.
“What, you mean we can’t afford a Nimbus 2000 and a TARDIS?” Frank laughs, picking up one of the catalogues and flopping down next to his husband.
“It’s going to be a tough decision,” Gerard muses with a grin before closing the FILM magazine and throwing it back on to the table. He sits back on the couch and rubs his bare feet along the side of Frank’s leg, warming his cold toes. “And what would you like Santa to bring you this year?” Frank licks at his bottom lip and smirks.
“I already have everything I want,” he replies, rubbing a warm hand over Gerard’s foot.
“Aww,” Gerard laughs, rolling his eyes. “So you don’t want that limited edition Alien box set I saw you eyeing up the other week?”
“Well…” Frank trails. Gerard grins and leans over to kiss Frank’s cheek. He’s already got the box set. It’s been stashed under his side of the bed for about two weeks now. Frank pulls Gerard in by the collar of his t-shirt and kisses him, pecking at his lips before pulling Gerard down on top of him.
Frank likes the comforting feeling of Gerard’s weight settling on top of him, their legs entwined and lips locked. It makes Frank think of years ago, when they used to lie exactly like this, kissing and groping like nothing else mattered. Sometimes Gerard looks at him like they’re twenty again, like he wants to devour him and like they’ve got all the time in the world. Frank laughs to himself just as Gerard moves on to his neck. He glances up.
“I didn’t think this was a ‘ha ha’ moment?” Frank grins and runs his fingers through Gerard’s hair.
“It’s not. I was just thinking about when we were young.”
Gerard arches an eyebrow. “Were? I think we’re a fair few years away from a free bus pass, Frank.”
“Yeah, but sometimes your knees crack during sex…” Gerard punches Frank in the shoulder, but he’s too busy laughing to push Gerard away. “You need to work on your foreplay, asshole.”
“Right after we work on your dirty talk, fuck nut,” Gerard replies. Frank’s still giggling, but he stops kiss Gerard’s forehead softly.
“I love you,” he whispers.
Gerard smiles. “I love you too…weirdo.”
Frank kisses Gerard’s face all over for a while, pecking at his cheeks, lips and eyebrows until Gerard pulls back a little and licks up Frank’s cheek. Frank scrunches his nose. “You spend too much time with Scarlet.” Gerard smiles and nuzzles Frank’s neck. “Oh, before I forget. We’re going to my grandparent’s tomorrow.”
Gerard groans. Normally, he’d be thrilled about going to see Grandma and Papa Iero, but they’ve not been on the best of terms lately.
When Frank went missing, Gerard didn’t tell anyone other than Mikey, and Mikey only knew because he found Gerard on the floor that day. It was only NJMD’s job to inform next of kin, and it honestly didn’t even cross Gerard’s mind to tell anyone else. He just dragged himself in to his own little world and stayed there, barely functioning until Frank was found. It wasn’t until Frank got back that any of their family even knew he’d been missing. Gerard’s yet to talk to the Iero’s directly, but from the messages they’ve been passing to him through Frank - they’re not too pleased. And really, he doesn’t blame them. He’s sort of surprised Frank’s been so ‘cool’ about the whole thing, that he actually understands.
“Ok…” Gerard trails, avoiding Frank’s eyes.
“Gerard,” Frank says sternly, grabbing Gerard’s chin and forcing him to look Frank in the eye. “You are going tomorrow. Sure, they’ll get pissy with you and tell you how wrong you were and how right they are - they’re parents. No, worse, they’re grandparents. But then they’ll get over it, for Scarlet’s sake if no one else’s, and everything will be back to normal.”
“But-” Frank covers Gerard’s mouth with his hand.
“No buts. They’ll forgive you because they love you, and because I love you. Besides, I’m alright. Everything’s ok, isn’t it?” Gerard nods slowly. “Yes, it is. So I think you should take me to bed now,” he continues, wrapping his arms around Gerard’s neck. “And I think you should kiss me until I fall asleep.”
Gerard laughs. “Ok,” and so he does.
-*-*-
Frank’s woken from a nightmare that night, sweating and almost crying with Gerard’s arms wrapped tightly around him. “It’s ok,” he whispers softly, kissing all over Frank’s face. “It’s ok, I’m here. You’re safe,” and he repeats this over and over again until Frank finally settles down.
“Their faces,” is all Frank can say, because that’s all he can see. Just bloodied, scared faces staring at him, emerging from the dark and getting closer and closer like they’re going to consume him.
Gerard cups Frank’s jaw and kisses him softly back in to silence.
-*-*-
At 10am Frank pulls Scarlet out from under her covers. “No, daddy,” she laughs. “Sleepy time.” Frank drops her down on the bed and blows raspberries on her stomach. She giggles and kicks at the covers, shaking her head and crying out with laughter “Daddy! No! Daddy! I’ll get up!”
Frank stands back up straight and points a finger at her nose. “You promise?”
“Promise,” she grins, hooking her pinkie finger around his.
“We’re going to see Nana and Papa Iero today,” he tells her. She bounces on her bed, balling her fists in excitement. “You gonna help me pick out your outfit?”
“Yeah!” she shouts, and Frank mimics her before picking her up, swinging her around a few times and then setting her back on the floor. She stumbles to her dresser in zigzag patterns to rifle through her drawers.
When they get in to the kitchen, Gerard’s setting down a bowl of cereal. Frank picks Scarlet up and sets her down on her chair. She grins up at her parents and grabs at the spoon. On his way to the fridge, Frank feels Gerard’s hand on the small of his back.
“You ok?” he asks, referring to last night. Frank smiles weakly and nods before leaning in to kiss Gerard’s cheek quickly.
“Super,” he replies. Gerard only wishes he could say the same, because something heavy is sinking in his stomach, and he feels like he’s about to get told off by the principal or his parents.
-*-*-
Grandma Iero is waiting at the door when they pull in to the drive way. Scarlet’s already waving and shouting “Hello, Nana!” from her car seat in the back, and he’s glad that she’s too busy waving back to maybe glare at Gerard. Frank unbuckles Scarlet from her seat and lifts her out; setting her down on the drive so she can stumble her way excitedly up to the door. Grandma Iero scoops her up in both arms and presses big fat lipstick kisses to her cheeks.
“Hello, little one,” she says. “I’ve missed you.” It’s barely been a week since she last saw Frank and Scarlet, but she hasn’t seen Gerard since before Frank went missing. He knows he’s not going to get the same greeting. She grabs Frank by the back of the neck and kisses his forehead. “Bambino,” she says softly, hoisting Scarlet up her hip. When her eyes fall on Gerard, her lips tighten. She nods, “Gerard.” And Gerard nods back.
When she disappears in to the house with Scarlet, Frank grabs at Gerard’s hand and squeezes it. “It’ll be fine,” he assures his husband. Gerard only wishes he could be so sure himself.
Inside, Scarlet’s climbing all over Papa Iero, giggling as he tickles her. She tries to scramble away, but he pulls her by the waist on to his lap and tickles her some more. “Surrender!” laughs Papa.
“Never!” Scarlet shouts. Finally, he ceases tickling and hugs her close. “Hi, Papa,” she grins.
“Little one,” he smiles, kissing all over her face. “You’re getting so big.” He kisses her again and sets her down as he sees Frank and Gerard in the living room door way. “Don’t just stand there,” he tells them and they shuffle in to the room, Gerard staying behind Frank. Papa Iero stands and cuffs Frank softly on the jaw. “You look better.”
“I feel better,” Frank replies as his hair gets ruffles. “Just taking it day by day.”
“Good,” Papa nods. “It’s nice to know,” and he shoots a stern look at Gerard that makes him want to sink back in to himself.
Frank sighs and rolls his eyes. “Scarlet, why don’t you go in to the dining room and set up your doll’s house?”
Her eyes light up. “You gonna play?” Frank smiles sweetly at her and nods.
“I sure am, princess.” She claps and runs off in to the next room. Frank waits until he can hear the box of doll things being tipped out on the floor before he swings around quickly. “We’re sorting this out now,” he says.
“Frank,” Papa Iero starts, but Frank holds up his finger.
“No, Papa. Whatever you’ve got to say to Gerard, you say it to him now and just get it out. I want this out of the way as quick as possible.”
Papa opens his mouth as if to say something, maybe to argue, but he closes his mouth again and presses his lips together. “You’re too much like your mother sometimes,” he says before shifting his gaze to Gerard. “You were selfish,” he says. “My grandson was missing and my granddaughter was hurting. The least you could have done was told me.”
“I’m sorry,” Gerard says softly, because he doesn’t know what else to say.
“We could have helped,” he continues. “We could have taken Scarlet for a while, or anything else you needed doing. We could have been there for you, but you shut everyone out.”
“I’m sorry,” Gerard says again. “I really am, but I couldn’t even think straight. I couldn’t breathe properly. If anything I didn’t want anyone else to feel like that.”
“Your daughter did,” Papa says quickly, and it hits Gerard square in the chest. “She was hurting and so were you.”
“We had Mikey…” Gerard offers, but Papa shakes his head.
“I know, and I’ll thank him next time I see him. But we should have had the chance to go through it with you. If anything we deserved it.”
“I don’t know what else I can say other than I’m sorry,” Gerard says quietly. “I just wasn’t myself, I wasn’t functioning properly. You know I’d never intentionally keep anything from you. I love you both.”
Papa sighs and reaches out to lay a hand on Gerard’s shoulder and squeeze gently. “I know that, son. We love you too; you’re part of our family. You make my grandson so happy and you’ve given me a wonderful great granddaughter,” he says. “I understand, really, I do. But please just remember that we may be old and almost completely senile, but we’re always here for you,” he smiles softly and Gerard smiles back. Frank’s already grinning, and he pulls them both in to a big hug. Gerard’s not sure if that’s an Italian thing or just an Iero thing - he’s just glad it’s a thing.
The Iero’s feed them a huge lunch and spend the day laughing, eating and playing with Scarlet. They plan Christmas day and the days which follow, talking about fantastic traditional dinners and extended family. Gerard feels like a huge weight has been lifted from his chest, and he truly enjoys the rest of their time there. Frank keeps looking over at him, smiling and taking his hand (if he’s close enough).
-*-*-
They’re pulling out of the Iero drive way when Frank’s cell starts ringing. He answers quickly, mumbles a few words and ends the call as quickly as he’d answered. Gerard raises a questioning eyebrow. “That was the chemist,” he says. “Meds are in,” he finishes and then presses his lips together.
Gerard nods, “Okay.”
“Yeah…” Frank trails, not really talking to anyone as he glances out of the passenger side window. He’s been on anti-depressants and sleeping tablets since he first got back. He hates them, he hates them more than he hates that damn shrink because if anything, they just make things worse. The sleeping tablets just encourage the dreams and sometimes the anti-depressants make him feel so numb, like he doesn’t exist. He lowered his dosage himself after the first week of not being able to feel anything. He wants them gone, completely out of his body and life, but the doctors tell him that could be a catastrophic idea.
Gerard pulls up in front of the chemist and Frank hops out. Scarlet watches him out of the window and waves, even though Frank doesn’t see. Gerard sighs and smiles at Scarlet through the rear view mirror. “You wanna put on a fashion show with your Barbies when we get home?” he asks.
Scarlet grins. “Yeah!”
-*-*-
At home, Gerard carries Scarlet up to her room whilst Frank sits down in front of the TV. He flips it on, surfs a few channels before settling on some sappy Christmas movie. He tucks himself in to the corner of the couch, kicks off his shoes and stays there.
From the middle of the stairs, Gerard watches Frank. He smiles softly as Frank glances up and mouths “I love you.” Frank smiles back. From her room, Scarlet shouts down. Gerard sighs, blows Frank a kiss and turns on the step. “I’m coming,” he shouts back. “But this time I get to be Tyra Banks!”
-*-*-
Frank checks on Scarlet before going to bed himself. She’s sleeping peacefully, making content little sounds as she snores away. Frank smiles in the doorway before creeping in to the room and peering over his daughter. She’s got a teddy tucked up next to her; it’s only got one ear and the nose is bitten. Frank bought it for her the day they brought her home and she’s slept with it next to her ever since. He smoothes the covers over them both and leans down to kiss her forehead. She murmurs something soft and settles again. Frank smiles and creeps back out.
Back in his own room, Gerard’s pulling off his jeans when Frank walks in, sliding them down over his perfect, pale hips. Frank stands there for a moment in silence, just watching his husband undress.
They haven’t had sex since Frank got back. Neither of them has mentioned it, yet. Gerard’s just been giving Frank his space and Frank, well; Frank doesn’t exactly know what he’s been doing. He hasn’t been himself lately, and he doesn’t want to make love to Gerard being anyone other than himself, and Gerard seems to understand this which makes Frank love him even more. Gerard’s down to his boxers now, and he tugs them off quickly before hopping in to a pair of flannel pajama pants. When he’s pulled them up to his hips, he turns to see Frank watching. He blushes. “Hey,” he says softly.
Frank smiles and walks over to Gerard quickly, laying his hands on Gerard’s waist and pulling him in for a soft, short kiss. The kiss leaves Gerard wanting, and he follows Frank’s lips to kiss him again and again. “Hey,” Frank replies when Gerard finally pulls back. “Scarlet’s fast asleep,” he says, winding his arms around Gerard’s neck.
Gerard nods. “Good,” and kisses Frank’s nose. He slides his hands up the sides of Gerard’s face and nuzzles their noses together.
“I love you, Gee.”
Pushing Frank back slowly, Gerard presses his palms to Frank’s chest and lets him drop down on to the bed. Frank grins up at Gerard and takes one of his hands, pulling him down with him. They kiss for a while before Frank starts pushing himself against Gerard, rubbing their legs together and rutting his crotch against Gerard’s thigh. His skin feels like it’s melting right off of him, and he’s not sure how far he wants this to go right now, but he just knows that he wants to be touched.
Gerard seems to get this and with his lips on Frank’s jaw line, he dips his hands inside Frank’s sweat pants. Frank gasps, his eyes flying open as he feels Gerard’s lips smile against his face. He’s already half hard and as Gerard starts to stroke and tease, Frank knows he’s going to be turned on for the top of his head to the tips of his toes pretty soon. “Missed - you - touching-” Frank huffs, and Gerard nods in to his neck.
With tightened fingers Gerard jacks Frank slowly, comfortably as Frank’s hips snap up off the bed. Gerard mouths his way down Frank’s neck to his collar bone, where he bites, grazing his teeth against the tanned skin. Frank moans and fists a hand in Gerard’s hair as his stomach flips.
All Frank can do is hold on to Gerard; grip his hair and shoulders as he bucks up in to his hand. Gerard nips at Frank’s earlobe. “Come on, Frankie,” he encourages in a hot whisper. Frank whimpers in response. “Come for me, Frank.” Frank can feel himself start to lose the grip he’s had on the edge since Gerard first flicked his wrist just like that. Gerard licks behind Frank’s ear. “I love you so much, baby.” That’s pretty much what does it. Frank’s eyes fly open and he arches high off the bed, gasping like a fish out of water as he comes over Gerard’s hand.
Frank lies there, panting and listening to his heart as it thuds erratically in his ears. Gerard trails his lips softly across Frank’s jaw for a moment before sitting up and grabbing the tissues off the nightstand. Frank barely registers Gerard cleaning him up as his mind swims in a blissful state. He can feel his eyelids start to flutter. Gerard kisses his cheeks softly. “Sleep,” Frank thinks he hears Gerard say.
-*-*-
Frank feels Gerard slip out of bed the next morning, just after he kisses Frank softly. He shuffles around the room for a few minutes, dressing and twitching the curtains before leaning over Frank to smooth his hair back. “I’m going to get Scarlet ready for gym,” he whispers. “You sleep some more.” So Frank does.
Frank feels strangely light when he wakes up again. The sun is bright but not blinding, even as it spills through the split in the curtains, and Frank feels peaceful and satisfied. He feels like he’s melted in to the mattress in his sleep, and he’s not sure if his liquefied bones can move just yet. He smiles and rubs his face against the pillow. The bed still smells like Gerard, it still feels like Gerard’s there and it makes Frank feel content.
He throws the covers back and the fresh morning air whips over him. He wants to find Gerard and bring him back to bed, maybe to cuddle or talk or fool around. Maybe all three. He wants Gerard to lock his arms around him, make him feel safe and kiss him until he tingles all over. Frank wants to kiss Gerard until he tingles all over. Yeah, he’d really like to do that. He’d also like to strip off those damn flannel pants and touch every inch of him. Frank closes his eyes and imagines doing just that, rubbing his fingertips over his husband’s gorgeous body. He smiles to himself and then opens his eyes quickly, because he doesn’t have to imagine. His gorgeous husband is downstairs - just waiting for Frank to do whatever he wants to him. He sits up and swings his leg round on to the floor. On the nightstand, Frank’s new bottle of sleeping pills sits unopened, and it’s only now he realises he didn’t have any nightmares last night, not a one. There’s something bubbling low in his stomach, some want and need that only Gerard can settle.
He finds Gerard in his basement studio, sans flannel pants and plus clean jeans. He’s barefoot and smeared in paint, wearing this ridiculous blue sleeveless top he always insists on wearing whenever he’s painting. Frank waits at the bottom of the stairs for Gerard to notice him, though he wouldn’t mind watching Gerard bent over a canvas for a little while longer. He’s smudging colours with his fingertips, looking focused and concentrated with his tongue poking between his lips and paint in his eyebrows.
Frank laughs and Gerard looks up quickly. “Hey,” he smiles. “Good morning.” And Frank feels it then, some pull in his body like a magnetic force that wants to propel him across the room until he’s within touching distance of Gerard. Somehow he gets there, and he’s grabbing the paint pallet from Gerard’s hand and dropping it to the floor. Gerard about to protest a little, because it took him ages to get that red just right, but there’s something in Frank’s eyes, some look that he can’t quite explain, which silences him. He grabs the sides of Gerard’s face and pulls him in for a kiss, practically sucking Gerard’s breath from his lungs and in to Frank’s. Gerard claws at Frank’s hair, more for balance than anything, and allows himself to be shoved back on to the table. The canvas drops to the floor and Gerard quickly glances to check that it’s landed paint side up. It has and so he goes back to nibbling over Frank’s lips.
Gerard slips his paint smeared hands under Frank’s t-shirt, dragging them down his chest until Frank shivers at the slightly cold paint. Frank pulls his own shirt off before reaching for Gerard’s, tearing it off and throwing it behind them. He attaches his mouth to one of Gerard’s nipples and sucks until he squirms, fisting Frank’s hair tighter. “Fuck,” Frank grunts as his scalp twinges, his teeth scraping against Gerard’s nipple again.
“Frank,” Gerard gasps, his free hand scratching down Frank’s side. “We don’t, you don’t have to-” Frank presses his fingers to Gerard’s lips, silencing him. He looks up at Gerard and shakes his head.
“No,” he pants. “I want to. I need to…” Gerard gulps in a breath and nods. Frank starts to unbutton Gerard’s jeans as he bites down his chest, further and further until he’s on his knees, pulling the denim over Gerard’s slim hips. He’s not wearing any underwear. Frank groans and rests his forehead against Gerard’s thigh. “You’re so fucking hot,” he breathes as Gerard grabs at the table behind, his knees going weak. Frank moves his face across Gerard’s thigh to start mouthing at his cock. Gerard whimpers, one hand slipping from the table and he nearly goes over. Frank grabs at his hips to keep him steady, slipping his tongue along the underside. He doesn’t stay there for long, much to Gerard’s disappointment, but instead clambers his way up Gerard’s now naked body and back to his mouth.
Gerard grabs at Frank’s sweat pants and starts to pull. He needs Frank’s skin on his skin, he wants to smear more paint on his living canvas and mark him with lips and teeth until there’s no visible skin left. And then finally, finally there’s no more clothing, no more material and no more barriers. Gerard’s got his paint slick hands on Frank’s skin, but Frank’s too busy pushing Gerard’s legs apart to notice. He hoists Gerard up on to the table until his feet dangle just above the floor and leans in to him, catching his mouth in a sharp kiss. Gerard hums as Frank runs his palms over his thighs, pulling him forward by the hips until their cocks are touching. Frank’s losing his breath because it feels like too much to take, like he’s just going to boil over and melt against Gerard right there and then.
Frank can’t stop the high pitched whine that escapes his throat when Gerard grabs a hold of his dick and starts to stroke. He tucks his ankles behind Frank’s thighs, keeping them as close as possible as he attempts to guide Frank forward. Frank presses a hand against the small of Gerard’s back and takes over, lining himself up and pushing in quickly with nothing but paint, sweat and pre-come to assist him. Gerard hisses, but he still loves that burning feeling as he stretches around Frank, his whole body tensing and relaxing to let him in. He chokes on his breath as Frank gasps, long and slow in to Gerard neck.
“Fuck,” Gerard finally drawls when he’s full, one hand on Frank’s chest and the other on his shoulder, digging his blunt nails in to the tanned skin. He kicks his ankles against Frank’s legs, urging him to move. The pain is subsiding now, and Gerard’s keen to feel something new. Frank raises his head, his eyes lidded heavily as he smiles at Gerard through them. He pulls out a little, ripping the air from his lungs in the process, before falling forward again, his lips landing on Gerard’s as he does so. He pecks at them a little before going for Gerard’s jaw, biting at a smudge of yellow paint. Gerard bucks against Frank, taking a hand away from his body to plant behind himself on the table, exposing his neck to Frank and his eager lips. Frank’s on him instantly, biting at Gerard’s pale throat, leaving wispy yellow marks from the paint now splayed across his bottom lip. Gerard licks at it when Frank pulls back and snaps his hips again, grunting and demanding more movement.
Frank laughs softly in rushed breath before grabbing Gerard’s hips hard, pulling out and slamming in quickly. Gerard shouts something, not really a word but it’s more than just a noise and Frank makes him do it again and again every time he pushes back in. Gerard feels himself being pushed back more and more, and the arm behind him is starting to ache. He wraps a leg tightly around Frank’s waist for anchorage as he pulls himself back up, ass sliding along the paint splattered table.
“Gerard,” Frank whispers when his lips are welded to Gerard’s chest. “You feel so good.” Gerard nods in agreement even though Frank can’t see, and wraps his fingers around Frank’s hair again, pulling until they both gasp. “So, so good…” Frank continues to whisper, and Gerard grips his chin to bring their faces together, his eyes falling shut as Frank’s hips jut forward again. There’s sweat on Frank’s forehead and all Gerard wants to do is lick it off, scratch his lips against it until it stings the small cut on the corner of his mouth. He finds Frank’s eyes with his own and gives him the best I fucking love it when you fuck me look he can muster. Frank sees it and groans, “Fuck.”
Gerard throws his head back and chokes, “God, Frank - yeah,” as Frank wraps his sweat damp fingers around Gerard’s dick. His rhythm is erratic and completely out of time with everything else that’s moving, but it feels perfect to Gerard as it drags him closer and closer to the edge as his thighs burn and his legs shake, but Frank’s still not slowing down. He wants this, he needs this and he can’t stop now - doesn’t want to stop ever, just wants this room to consume them and hold them in this moment forever.
Frank’s eyes are closed and face pressed to Gerard’s neck when he feels him tighten and still below. The come hits his fingers, warm and in thick globs as it spills down his fist. Gerard’s oddly silent when he comes, but it’s not too long before he’s grabbing at Frank’s face and whispering dirty little encouragements. “Yeah,” Frank breathes, nodding and agreeing as Gerard tells him to ‘come right inside of me, fuck yeah’. Frank’s making these ridiculous whining noises and he has to bite down on Gerard’s shoulder to stop himself from making more, but Gerard shakes him off. He wants to hear them.
Coming hard and with a shudder, Frank curses violently before collapsing against Gerard, feeling light heading and spent. They stay like that until Gerard starts to feel uncomfortable, and he slowly pushes Frank back and out of him, sighing when he’s empty again.
Frank glances at the mess around them, because there really is not other way to describe it. He chews on his lip and looks at Gerard, a little apologetic. Gerard smiles and shakes his head; reaching out for Frank and pulling him back in to his arms. “Don’t worry about it,” he says softly. “This was way more important than any painting,” and he kisses Frank, slow and deep with far too much tongue - but Frank doesn’t care, he just swallows Gerard’s kiss down and clings to the edges of the now rocky table.
-*-*-
They shower quickly, rinsing the sweat and come from their bodies under the warm spray of water. Gerard mouths along the backs of Frank’s shoulders as his hands run over Frank’s now clean skin, slipping with the water until he cups Frank’s ass. Frank sighs, content, and leans back in to the touch.
When Gerard moves in a certain way, he can still feel Frank inside of him. Just a little twinge that reminds him and he hopes he feels it always.
Frank’s making lunch by the time Mikey gets back with Scarlet, just these tiny square cucumber and cheese sandwiches that she’s in love with. She scrambles in to the kitchen after Mikey sets her down and attaches herself to her father’s leg. He picks her up and hands her one of the breaded squares off the chopping board. She beams and makes an ‘Mmm’ noise as she shoves the whole square in to her mouth. “Om Nom!” she says.
“Om Nom, Nom Nom,” Frank replies, nuzzling the side of Scarlet’s face until she giggles. He leaves the plate of sandwiches in the kitchen, carrying Scarlet in to the next room with both hands. He plops her down in Gerard’s arms. “Did someone order a daughter?”
“With a side order of husband? Yeah, that’d be me,” says Gerard. Frank laughs and so does Scarlet, even though she doesn’t get it.
From across the room, Mikey rolls his eyes. “You lot are sickeningly cute.” Gerard grins at him. “Seriously, couple more kids and you’re the gay Brady bunch.”
-*-*-
It feels like someone’s flipped a switch inside Frank, because suddenly he can’t get enough of Gerard. When Gerard gets back from putting Scarlet to bed, Frank practically jumps him, kissing and touching him all over until they’re both so hard they almost can’t stand it. It only takes a few ruts against each other before they come over their jeans and Gerard’s favourite cream coloured couch throw. He complains about it for a little while, whilst they’re doing laundry, but Frank shuts him up with more kisses.
Frank doesn’t take his sleeping pills again, instead he lets Gerard kiss him until he’s too tired to think straight - let alone dream. He had taken his anti-depressants, though it took him a good five or so minutes of staring at himself in the bathroom mirror before he did, telling himself that it was ok. Sometimes people need a little help, and all he had to do was keep as firm a grip on himself as possible. And if he does start to lose touch, he’s always got Gerard and Scarlet there to remind him exactly who he is.
Gerard watches Frank sleep for a while, eyes running over his husband’s body as he checks for any signs of disturbed sleep. He can’t see any and for once, Frank truly looks peaceful. Gerard smiles to himself and lays his head on Frank’s chest, closing his eyes as Frank’s arm instinctively wraps around Gerard’s shoulders.
-*-*-
The next morning Gerard’s mom calls to make sure that Mikey brings everything he’s suppose to. His parents are at their Aunt’s this Christmas, something about a sick Uncle and a refurbished kitchen and - uh. Gerard should really start listening when his mother is talking. With the both of them away that leaves Mikey with the mountain of gifts for Scarlet stacked up in his apartment, and the task of sneaking them under the tree without Scarlet noticing. This, at the moment, is going to be a lot harder than usual. A few days ago, Frank bought her a Scooby Doo clue kit - and she’s getting way in to this whole detective things. She bobs around the house with her tiny blue magnifying glass, looking at random specks of nothing and going mmm or aha! With this set comes a note pad, and she scribbles her nonsense in it - though recites the detail perfectly back to Gerard or her Scooby Doo teddy.
“Maybe she’s going to be a CSI,” says Frank as Gerard gets off the phone. Scarlet’s just run in front of them, Scooby Doo in one hand and magnifying glass in the other, yelling something about the daisies in the garden being a little too daisy.
Gerard arches an eyebrow. “I thought you wanted her to be a chef?”
“Chef, CSI, President…I’m keeping my options open,” he replies.
“Uh-huh,” Gerard nods, trying to look as serious as Frank but he just can’t stop himself from grinning like a fool.
-*-*-
On Christmas Eve they sneak Mikey in to the house an hour or so after Scarlet’s bedtime. Mikey snorts as he passes the plate of peanut butter cookies, cut in the shape of Star Wars characters, and glass of ‘Sunny D’. “They’re the only cookie cutters we’ve got,” Gerard explains quietly as he helps his brother with the multitude of brightly wrapped presents.
“Let’s just hope Santa and Darth Vader are buds,” Mikey replies. Gerard laughs and Frank shushes him, to which both Way brothers smirk and roll their eyes.
Frank’s stood nervously at the bottom of the stairs, glancing up at the dark landing every few seconds as Gerard and Mikey arrange everything under and around the tree. “You could always help,” whispers Gerard, but Frank simply glares and presses his finger to his lips. Usually, they could have the Thanksgiving Parade barge through their living room and Scarlet wouldn’t twitch her nose in her sleep, but due to her recent Scooby Doo obsession and the fact it’s Christmas Eve, that child has developed bat like hearing.
It doesn’t take all that long to get everything sorted, and soon the living room is glittering with the sparkle of shiny wrapping paper. The three men look at their achievement and nod. “Oh, almost forgot,” says Mikey suddenly. He pulls a Santa hat from out of his coat pocket, brushes it off and rests it on Gerard’s head. “From mom. She said you’re not allowed to not wear a hat this year.”
Gerard sighs. This is all because of last year’s paper hat fiasco and his mother is now punishing him. Frank snorts behind his hand, looking completely innocent when Gerard glares at him. He fucking hates Christmas hats.
They sit in the kitchen for the rest of the evening, because it’s the room furthest away from Scarlet’s and Frank forbids them from talking above a dull whisper. They share out the Santa/Star Wars cookies and talk about the possibilities of Santa and Darth Vader actually being buds, well, Gerard and Mikey do. Frank just sits there and watches them wildly hand gesture at each other. He wonders if he’d still be able to understand what they were saying if he were deaf. Probably. The Ways are big on sign language - well, their own sign language.
“I made the bed up in the spare room for you,” says Gerard when Mikey starts to yawn. Mikey just smiles and leans over to kiss his brother’s cheek. “See you in the morning.”
“Bright an early?” yawns Mikey.
Gerard laughs and nods. “You can count on it.”
After a few moments of silence Frank sighs and pushes at Gerard’s arm until he gets the hint and envelopes Frank in a one armed hug. Frank smiles and makes a small content noise. “I like it when it’s just me and you,” he says softly, playing with the white ball on Gerard’s Santa hat. Gerard grins and squeezes a little tighter.
“Me too.”
-*-*-
Scarlet’s shrill and excited shriek wakes them up far too early the next morning. Frank grumbles and throws an arm over his face. Maybe if he plays dead he can get an extra ten minutes. Scarlet’s got other ideas. She catapults herself on to her parents’ bed and starts jumping all over them. “It’s Christmas! It’s Christmas!” she shouts. “Wake up, daddies! It’s Christmas.” Frank curls himself in to a ball, protecting his crotch from his daughter’s stamping feet.
Gerard finally sits up and grabs Scarlet in both arms, pulling her down to the bed. He hugs her tight and kisses her cheek. “I know, baby,” he says groggily. “Why don’t you go and tell Uncle Mikey?”
“Yeaaaah!” she agrees like it’s the best idea ever, scrambling off their bed and out of the room. Gerard flops back down next to Frank with a grunt. Frank’s giggling softly and he moves his head to rest on Gerard’s chest.
“Best idea ever,” he says, nuzzling his face against Gerard’s t-shirt.
It’s not even a minute later when Mikey storms in to their room, rips the covers from their grasp, pulls the pillows from behind their heads and walks back out again. Frank scowls and clings to Gerard. “All we need is each other!” he shouts.
“Get up now or you’ll need to be fed through a tube!” Mikey shouts back.
They stumble groggily downstairs to where Scarlet is already bouncing around the piles of presents, hugging the large ones and shaking the little ones to try and hear what’s inside. Mikey hands them both a mug of coffee. “Best brother ever,” Gerard says.
“I know. Now give your child a present to open before she explodes,” he replies before stalking back off to the kitchen.
Gerard and Frank sit sleepily on the floor, handing presents up to Scarlet. Gerard’s still wearing the Santa hat, and Scarlet claps her approval before giggling and tugging on the fluffy ball. It takes an absolute age to get through the presents from Gerard’s parents and Frank’s grandparents. They’ve all gone completely overboard, mostly because Scarlet’s a lot more aware this year than last. She oows and ahhs as she rips open the shiny paper, revealing various toys and pink things, including clothes, teddy bears and decorative things for her room.
She unwraps Mikey’s present, a huge unicorn soft toy, and practically dives in to the large cardboard box with it. She wraps her arms around it’s neck and coos at its large white eyes and purple eyelashes. “I’m going to call you Mikey!” she announces, to which Frank rolls around the floor with laughter until Mikey punches him in the thigh.
Frank falls asleep against the couch when Scarlet’s finished opening everything. She’s leant against Mikey the Unicorn, playing with a Hello Kitty baking set Frank got for her as Gerard and Mikey start clearing away the mounds of wrapping paper. When the majority of it’s gone, Gerard kneels down in front of Frank, present in hand.
“Frankie,” he whispers, nuzzling their noses together. Frank’s eyes blink open and he looks around, confused.
“Sorry,” he yawns. Gerard drops the present in to his hands and Frank grins, “Ow!” before tearing at the paper with the same enthusiasm as Scarlet. It’s the Alien special edition box set. Frank beams and surges forward to kiss Gerard. “I love you,” he says quietly.
“You too,” Gerard replies, reaching forward to cup the back of Frank’s neck and pull him in for another short kiss. “Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas, babe,” says Frank before biting Gerard’s nose. He then turns slightly away from Gerard, sticking his arm under the couch and feeling around. Gerard arches an eyebrow, but Frank continues to grin until he pulls out a small black box. “Aha!” he announces before handing the box to Gerard.
Gerard flips the box open, peering down at the Darth Vader cuff links that stare menacingly back up at him. Gerard looks back up with this shit eating grin on his face. “Dude…” is all he manages to say. Frank laughs.
“I thought you could wear them when you have to go to those business meetings and gallery openings,” he explains.
“You’re the best!” Gerard grins. Suddenly, there’s a thudding noise as Scarlet makes a running jump at them, landing on Gerard’s back.
“I’m the best!” she shouts as her arms coil around her father’s neck.
-*-*-
Scarlet has cookies for lunch. She’s too busy jumping all over Uncle Mikey with Mikey the Unicorn to eat anything proper. Frank walks in to the kitchen, laughing and shaking his head as Gerard put the juice cups in to the sink.
Frank’s hand appears on Gerard’s head and he tips the Santa hat forward a little. “It was falling off,” he says as Gerard turns to slide his arms around Frank’s waist.
“You like the hat, huh?” Gerard smirks, bobbing his eyebrows. Frank snorts and pulls at the soft, red material.
“You’re turning me in to a bad man, Gerard Way,” he says as their faces get a little closer.
“Thanks for ruining Christmas for me for the next ten years,” announces Mikey from the doorway. Gerard blushes a little and heads for the exit, dragging Frank behind him.
“Don’t worry,” says Frank as they pass. “I’ll still be boning your brother well in to our forties.”
“For forever!” Mikey shouts after them.
-*-*-
For the rest of the afternoon Frank and Mikey help set up Scarlet’s new pink and blue doll house from grandma Way as Gerard potters around the living room, clearing up the last of the boxes and paper and listening to his daughter giggle.
“Oh no!” shouts Mikey. “The house is under attack by the evil Unicorn Mikey space ship!”
Scarlet gasps. “Get inside!”
“Save the children!” Frank adds.
Gerard rolls his eyes. He’s not sure who’s enjoying themselves more.
-*-*-
Scarlet’s spending the night at the Iero’s house where she’ll be lavished in more presents and things which contain sugar until tomorrow, when Frank and Gerard join them for a big meal. They decided not long ago to have their Christmas dinner tomorrow, giving Scarlet the whole of today to play with her presents and her parents before they stuff her so full of food that she can’t move for the rest of the holidays. Plus, Frank really likes the idea of having Gerard all to himself on Christmas night.
It takes ages to pack all of Scarlet’s favourite presents in to Mikey’s car, and even longer to re-arrange them all so the boot will close.
“See you tomorrow, little lady,” says Gerard, nuzzling Scarlet’s nose before handing her over to Frank.
“Don’t drive Nana and Papa too crazy, ok?” Frank adds. Scarlet beams up at him with wide, innocent eyes and nods. “Also, make sure Uncle Mikey checks his mirrors. He’s really bad at doing that.” Mikey gives Frank the finger from behind Scarlet.
-*-*-
Frank makes Gerard keep the Santa hat on for the rest of the evening, because it makes Gerard look oddly sexy and Frank really likes running his hands over it when they kiss.
Frank makes his pasta for their Christmas dinner, but adds a little red wine now that there’s no under aged mouths to feed. They sit at the table to eat it, with Gerard in his Santa had and Frank grinning at him over the candle light (because you can’t not be cliché at Christmas). They drink a glass of the same wine that’s in the pasta, and Gerard makes the appropriate noises when he eats another mouthful. “Mmm. This is delicious, baby,” he praises. Frank just leans over and places a sloppy kiss on Gerard’s cheek.
After dinner they settle on the couch watching Miracle on 34th Street, because it’s on practically every channel. Frank’s got his head on Gerard’s chest and hand under his t-shirt, stroking at the soft skin on his stomach. They’ve got a blanket around their legs and Frank rubs their feet together. Gerard closes his eyes and hums. He loves Christmas.
They’re washing the dishes together in the kitchen when Gerard suddenly turns to Frank and pulls the dish towel from his hands. Frank stares, confused, until Gerard dries his hands and then launches himself at Frank, their lips taking the brunt of the fall. Frank’s hands flail at his sides until they find purchase on Gerard’s shoulders, though it does little good as Gerard grabs at Frank’s waist and hoists him back against the kitchen wall.
“Ger-Wah?” Frank tries to say with a mouth full of Gerard, but before he can think about talking some more Gerard’s on his knees, looking up at Frank through dark lashes and the rim of that damn Santa hat. He groans and lets his head thud back against the wall as Gerard starts to claw his jeans open, nuzzling his face against Frank’s crotch in the process. He’s never going to be able to look at a Santa hat again without thinking incredibly obscene thoughts.
Frank scrapes at the walls when Gerard finally gets his mouth on Frank’s cock, because he doesn’t want to knock the Santa hat off. He’s completely aware of how sick and wrong this makes him, but as Gerard starts to hum and sink down further - Frank refuses to care. He ends up with his hands on Gerard’s shoulders, bucking furiously in to his mouth and cursing with his eyes wide open.
When he comes he almost chokes on his own breath, hips stuttering to a stand still as he bunches Gerard’s t-shirt in his hands. He’s barely got time to register what’s just happened when Gerard’s face is in front of his, smirking triumphantly.
Gerard takes off the Santa hat and lands it on Frank’s head. “Your turn.”
Frank laughs.
-*-*-
The next day is all about family, and with the night he and Gerard spent together, Frank enjoys it more than he ever thought possible. The meal Nana Iero cooks is ridiculous and takes up the entire of the dining room table. So maybe none of them are going to be able to move for the rest of the Christmas holidays, but that’s ok - Frank thinks. He can’t think of anything he’d rather do than laze around the house with his daughter and husband, baking more Star Wars cookies and playing with Mikey the Unicorn.
-*-*-
Two weeks after Christmas, Frank gets his letter of departure from NJMD. He folds it up neatly and tucks it away in his nightstand drawer. He feels Gerard’s arms slip around his waist and flinches a little, unaware Gerard was even in the room, let alone so close.
Gerard presses soothing kisses along Frank’s neck. “Come on, soldier,” he whispers.
Frank closes his eyes for a few moments before nodding.
- THE END