More Lives to Ruin, Chaos to Bring, Labour to Induce
Notes on life. Use at your own risk. YMMV.
Life's a long song-but it is always too short. It can always stand a few more verses, another bridge, a long chorus.
Have you ever noticed that the more you actually love someone, the more you care about them, the more likely they are to completely and totally misinterpret anything and everything you say and go running, screaming, into the hills-never to return?
Always cut the cards-always! Even if you're playing against Chris Angel. If you lose anyway-smile! It makes them wonder just what you're up to, and people who aren't sure make mistakes.
Never, EVER, take someone's word as to whether the gun is loaded… It will be when you accidentally pull the trigger, and it won't be when the wild animal is going for your throat.
Always use lots of lubricant-it gets you into, and out of, tight paces.
Humans almost never learn from or by example, good or bad. They seldom learn from experience either-which summarizes to "Humans seldom learn". How has the race survived? Note that the operative word is "seldom"-as opposed to "never".
If there is a supreme being-at least one, anyway-then s/he must be awfully bored and disgusted by thousands of years of our fumbling around, messing up, turning this lovely green world into a noxious, smelly, feces brown septic pool. Why s/he hasn't pushed the "restart" button only is indicative of a truly benevolent being's almost infinite patience.
Things are seldom as they seem. The more sure you are of something, the less likely it is to be true. There are, of course, exceptions to this rule-enough exceptions in fact to make some people wonder as to whether the exception is the rule, or vice versa. Let me assure you-one of them is true… usually.
Rounding numbers for convenience sake does not good mechanical construction make. A fraction of a percent off in calculation of flight dynamics, in just 250,000 miles, is enough to miss the target (aka the moon) completely. The error compounds rapidly; by the time 93,000,000 miles have passed, you won't even be within the orbit of Mercury. Never allow someone who insists on estimating to compute wages, interest, payments, or your life expectancy-s/he will be radically wrong on all of them.
TANSTAAFL (AKA: "There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch")! Nothing is free… and that's the only thing that is free. "They" are working on a way to charge for that, too. You CAN get too much of nothing, and often do.
Beware of anyone who makes mistakes and refuses to correct them based on the outrageous idea that "Why bother? They (the audience) will understand what is meant…"
People who fall into this category are those who spell:
etc. as ECT (& pronouce it EK-SETRA)
its as IT'S (It's an exception, fool!)
all the variants of "their, there, they're", "your, you're", "our, hour", "here, hear", "heir, hare, hair, air, ere", "reed, read, red, read" and so forth… Ignorance is curable, stupidity is not!
People who fall into this category are those who:
never check to see if they a word out.
and so forth …
These are the kind of people who will insist on a 137 page contract in four point type, with errors that can only be interpreted in their favour, but also insist that they would NEVER hold you to something that was an obvious mistake-well, until it goes to court anyway.
Never, ever, presume that your heirs will get along or have the slightest idea what you meant for each of them to have upon your passing. Word everything at the 3rd grade reading level, and take for granted that they will shock everyone by exhibiting an even lower consciousness and conscience. They will fight over the things that no one wants or wanted-just for fun. Have a good-make that exceptional-attorney put in a clause that absolutely assures that those who insist on acquiring that which was left for another have all of their bequeathed property donated to the home for perplexed prostitutes, horrendous hackers, televangelist transvestites, or other such supernumerary and superfluous sycophants. Even your passing should be a lesson to those who insist that they, alone, have a right to everything.
Life's a long song-but it is always too short. It can always stand a few more verses, another bridge, a long chorus.
Have you ever noticed that the more you actually love someone, the more you care about them, the more likely they are to completely and totally misinterpret anything and everything you say and go running, screaming, into the hills-never to return?
Always cut the cards-always! Even if you're playing against Chris Angel. If you lose anyway-smile! It makes them wonder just what you're up to, and people who aren't sure make mistakes.
Never, EVER, take someone's word as to whether the gun is loaded… It will be when you accidentally pull the trigger, and it won't be when the wild animal is going for your throat.
Always use lots of lubricant-it gets you into, and out of, tight paces.
Humans almost never learn from or by example, good or bad. They seldom learn from experience either-which summarizes to "Humans seldom learn". How has the race survived? Note that the operative word is "seldom"-as opposed to "never".
If there is a supreme being-at least one, anyway-then s/he must be awfully bored and disgusted by thousands of years of our fumbling around, messing up, turning this lovely green world into a noxious, smelly, feces brown septic pool. Why s/he hasn't pushed the "restart" button only is indicative of a truly benevolent being's almost infinite patience.
Things are seldom as they seem. The more sure you are of something, the less likely it is to be true. There are, of course, exceptions to this rule-enough exceptions in fact to make some people wonder as to whether the exception is the rule, or vice versa. Let me assure you-one of them is true… usually.
Rounding numbers for convenience sake does not good mechanical construction make. A fraction of a percent off in calculation of flight dynamics, in just 250,000 miles, is enough to miss the target (aka the moon) completely. The error compounds rapidly; by the time 93,000,000 miles have passed, you won't even be within the orbit of Mercury. Never allow someone who insists on estimating to compute wages, interest, payments, or your life expectancy-s/he will be radically wrong on all of them.
TANSTAAFL (AKA: "There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch")! Nothing is free… and that's the only thing that is free. "They" are working on a way to charge for that, too. You CAN get too much of nothing, and often do.
Beware of anyone who makes mistakes and refuses to correct them based on the outrageous idea that "Why bother? They (the audience) will understand what is meant…"
People who fall into this category are those who spell:
etc. as ECT (& pronouce it EK-SETRA)
its as IT'S (It's an exception, fool!)
all the variants of "their, there, they're", "your, you're", "our, hour", "here, hear", "heir, hare, hair, air, ere", "reed, read, red, read" and so forth… Ignorance is curable, stupidity is not!
People who fall into this category are those who:
never check to see if they a word out.
and so forth …
These are the kind of people who will insist on a 137 page contract in four point type, with errors that can only be interpreted in their favour, but also insist that they would NEVER hold you to something that was an obvious mistake-well, until it goes to court anyway.
Never, ever, presume that your heirs will get along or have the slightest idea what you meant for each of them to have upon your passing. Word everything at the 3rd grade reading level, and take for granted that they will shock everyone by exhibiting an even lower consciousness and conscience. They will fight over the things that no one wants or wanted-just for fun. Have a good-make that exceptional-attorney put in a clause that absolutely assures that those who insist on acquiring that which was left for another have all of their bequeathed property donated to the home for perplexed prostitutes, horrendous hackers, televangelist transvestites, or other such supernumerary and superfluous sycophants. Even your passing should be a lesson to those who insist that they, alone, have a right to everything.