What to Say, What to Do...
C++Bear and I went out last night. Yes, together. Went to Sharky's over on the other side of the universe to see one of the better bands around Nocturnal Tomatoes (http://www.nocturnaltomatoes.com).
Was it a successful evening? I'm not sure. In some ways, yes. In others (most, actually) I am really NOT sure.
We ended up helping a new friend, individually and collectively.
We spent a great deal of today trying to figure some of our hassles out.
Has anything changed? I really don't think so.
I, personally, feel like everything in my life has become a song and dance routine from vaudeville days.
Yes, I am carefully being obtuse and obscure. Really, for now it's better this way. I am leaving the figurative door unlocked for now, because no matter how angry or hurt I may get, she has the right to the same confusion and nothing is - as yet - permanently in concrete, though it seems more that way every day.
What do I know "for sure"?
Only that:
1) I have been given a reprieve from Mr. Death;
2) I obviously have something else left to do around here, but neither a clear knowledge of what it is, nor any understanding of either the time frame or mechanisms to employ;
3) Nothing that will happen will be the same as what has gone before;
4) I am human, make mistakes, and do my best to clean up after myself - if that's not good enough, Oh Well!
That's really all for now. I admit that I am depressed at the moment, somewhat lonely right now, and wondering why things are ruinning the way they are. I am NOT a bad person, nor have I deliberately done things with intent to hurt, cause pain, or damage the people I care about. I admit to saying stupid things in anger, and while I understand the apologies don't undo them, I am almost always "sorry" to have said them - usually immediately.
Happy Easter, Good Passover, and whatever to whomever I missed.
Was it a successful evening? I'm not sure. In some ways, yes. In others (most, actually) I am really NOT sure.
We ended up helping a new friend, individually and collectively.
We spent a great deal of today trying to figure some of our hassles out.
Has anything changed? I really don't think so.
I, personally, feel like everything in my life has become a song and dance routine from vaudeville days.
Yes, I am carefully being obtuse and obscure. Really, for now it's better this way. I am leaving the figurative door unlocked for now, because no matter how angry or hurt I may get, she has the right to the same confusion and nothing is - as yet - permanently in concrete, though it seems more that way every day.
What do I know "for sure"?
Only that:
1) I have been given a reprieve from Mr. Death;
2) I obviously have something else left to do around here, but neither a clear knowledge of what it is, nor any understanding of either the time frame or mechanisms to employ;
3) Nothing that will happen will be the same as what has gone before;
4) I am human, make mistakes, and do my best to clean up after myself - if that's not good enough, Oh Well!
That's really all for now. I admit that I am depressed at the moment, somewhat lonely right now, and wondering why things are ruinning the way they are. I am NOT a bad person, nor have I deliberately done things with intent to hurt, cause pain, or damage the people I care about. I admit to saying stupid things in anger, and while I understand the apologies don't undo them, I am almost always "sorry" to have said them - usually immediately.
Happy Easter, Good Passover, and whatever to whomever I missed.