gotta rush away
So I'm waiting for Faery-jess to log on so we can watch more Doctor Who, and I figured that this piece wasn't too bad. Um. This is part of the reason why I've been so inactive lately. Although not what sparked it.
Title: Same Old Walkaways
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: G
A/N: This was inspired by the season finale for 2005. It is full of spoiler for that, if you're late like me and haven't watched it all.
You know in that last moment before the change that there is no danger. Unlike Rose once implied, you are a professional; you've done this eight times before. Each time you felt a little different afterwards, and you can remember yourself as different. You can remember feeling different feelings, thinking different thoughts. You know by now that is not really an end, but only a change.
Still, the change is enough to turn your world inside out. The motives, the intrinsic nature is the same, but the personality will be slightly different, and the part of you that is the ninth Doctor is afraid. And for Rose's sake you are afraid. The self that will follow - the self that already is shaping, where the light of the Tardis is collecting - it will not be the same. It won't be the same self that invited her along after saving humanity together. It won't be the same self who sacrificed himself to try to save her doomed father. The same Doctor… but not the same who.
And you're not sure what will happen after the change, how you'll feel about Rose - surely you'll not love her any less, but with that same certainty you know it will be different. And changed as you are, will she be able to stay? Or will she go back to her old life, happy that she was able to save you and all other life?
You're changing - you can feel it - but the last scraps of your ninth incarnation feel a sudden content as you realise - either way would not be so bad.
And at least you know she'll be in capable hands.
Title: Same Old Walkaways
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: G
A/N: This was inspired by the season finale for 2005. It is full of spoiler for that, if you're late like me and haven't watched it all.
You know in that last moment before the change that there is no danger. Unlike Rose once implied, you are a professional; you've done this eight times before. Each time you felt a little different afterwards, and you can remember yourself as different. You can remember feeling different feelings, thinking different thoughts. You know by now that is not really an end, but only a change.
Still, the change is enough to turn your world inside out. The motives, the intrinsic nature is the same, but the personality will be slightly different, and the part of you that is the ninth Doctor is afraid. And for Rose's sake you are afraid. The self that will follow - the self that already is shaping, where the light of the Tardis is collecting - it will not be the same. It won't be the same self that invited her along after saving humanity together. It won't be the same self who sacrificed himself to try to save her doomed father. The same Doctor… but not the same who.
And you're not sure what will happen after the change, how you'll feel about Rose - surely you'll not love her any less, but with that same certainty you know it will be different. And changed as you are, will she be able to stay? Or will she go back to her old life, happy that she was able to save you and all other life?
You're changing - you can feel it - but the last scraps of your ninth incarnation feel a sudden content as you realise - either way would not be so bad.
And at least you know she'll be in capable hands.