happy (extremely belated) birthday
For my dear, beloved
smokexscribbles, because she is my sekrit luvr very close friend. And her birthday was AGES ago.
Title: Vague Advances
Series: Surreality (Ravix/Ilfiid)
Wordcount: 396 (short. ack.)
A/N: As the title may suggest to those in the know, this was largely influenced by a song by Chris Pureka called Burning Bridges, which is basically my Ravix/Ilfiid anthem. It's amazing. Listen to it. (It's on her Myspace page...).
Ilfiid didn't know what it was about this afternoon that made him feel suddenly expectant. A few weeks after the latest heartbreak and Ravix had not been around at all. But yet the day felt primed for an arrival, and so Ilfiid was not particularly surprised to find his erstwhile friend and sometime lover on the doorstep, looking sheepish. What surprised him was the lack of the reek of alcohol or smoke, the alert expression in Ravix's eyes. The ability to stand on his own.
"Do I pass inspection?" the man asked lightheartedly - but Ilfiid could hear easily the hesitation, the fear behind the question. And for that, the forgiveness was instantaneous and absolute, for he had always been waiting to see Ravix honestly come back, standing on his own, just human.
"Are you staying this time?" Ilfiid asked; the question he had never before dared voice now on the table, visible.
And Ravix did not reply too quickly. "I… I want to," he said quietly. "I know it's way past a second chance, but… I want to." Then he looked up, and his eyes were intense, wild, focused entirely on Ilfiid as if everything else had just been burnt away. "You know how I feel about you, Ilfiid. I think I can make it work this time."
Ilfiid knew. He'd been the victim of too many desperate embraces, too many harsh kisses against the cold plaster wall, too many nights listening to the shuddering, the sobbing, as Ravix tried and tried to leave behind his shackles. It wasn't a pain that moved on, even when the bruises faded and the tears dried and the morning dawned. The scars weren't visible, but they were there all the same - every single wound left because they both cared too much for someone they had no business falling for.
It was for this reason that there wasn't even a need for consideration, even familiar sense of doom built up again. Ilfiid knew this too, knew that he would be doomed to a life of living and dying and breathing and getting left behind, knew that he had cemented his fate long ago, knew that he wouldn't give it up if he could.
"The answer never changed," he said, smiling - and it was not a bitter smile. "Come in, Ravix."
After all, Ravix had never failed to come back yet.
smokexscribbles, because she is my sekrit luvr very close friend. And her birthday was AGES ago.
Title: Vague Advances
Series: Surreality (Ravix/Ilfiid)
Wordcount: 396 (short. ack.)
A/N: As the title may suggest to those in the know, this was largely influenced by a song by Chris Pureka called Burning Bridges, which is basically my Ravix/Ilfiid anthem. It's amazing. Listen to it. (It's on her Myspace page...).
Ilfiid didn't know what it was about this afternoon that made him feel suddenly expectant. A few weeks after the latest heartbreak and Ravix had not been around at all. But yet the day felt primed for an arrival, and so Ilfiid was not particularly surprised to find his erstwhile friend and sometime lover on the doorstep, looking sheepish. What surprised him was the lack of the reek of alcohol or smoke, the alert expression in Ravix's eyes. The ability to stand on his own.
"Do I pass inspection?" the man asked lightheartedly - but Ilfiid could hear easily the hesitation, the fear behind the question. And for that, the forgiveness was instantaneous and absolute, for he had always been waiting to see Ravix honestly come back, standing on his own, just human.
"Are you staying this time?" Ilfiid asked; the question he had never before dared voice now on the table, visible.
And Ravix did not reply too quickly. "I… I want to," he said quietly. "I know it's way past a second chance, but… I want to." Then he looked up, and his eyes were intense, wild, focused entirely on Ilfiid as if everything else had just been burnt away. "You know how I feel about you, Ilfiid. I think I can make it work this time."
Ilfiid knew. He'd been the victim of too many desperate embraces, too many harsh kisses against the cold plaster wall, too many nights listening to the shuddering, the sobbing, as Ravix tried and tried to leave behind his shackles. It wasn't a pain that moved on, even when the bruises faded and the tears dried and the morning dawned. The scars weren't visible, but they were there all the same - every single wound left because they both cared too much for someone they had no business falling for.
It was for this reason that there wasn't even a need for consideration, even familiar sense of doom built up again. Ilfiid knew this too, knew that he would be doomed to a life of living and dying and breathing and getting left behind, knew that he had cemented his fate long ago, knew that he wouldn't give it up if he could.
"The answer never changed," he said, smiling - and it was not a bitter smile. "Come in, Ravix."
After all, Ravix had never failed to come back yet.