finally
FORGIVE ME.
I would have posted this Saturday, but I have not had Internet since Thursday save for spans of about five minutes. So this is last week's installment.
Title: Code Blue Part II (6/7)
Fandom: xxxHOLiC
Wordcount: 2,301
A/N: RIFE with errors as usual. Also be warned; I wrote this on a laptop computer late at night while on a long car ride. If it stops making sense, tell me, and I'll attempt to salvage what little I can of the situation.
Previous Chapters / Part One
Watanuki was caught in a rather uncomfortable situation, to say the least. But if what Subaru wanted involved injections, there was no way he would agree to it. It probably had something to do with what he'd suffered at Kyle's hands, but he was finding that the very sight of a needle was sending him into panic attacks as bad as he had struggled through in his days of indentured servitude. This he was demonstrating - or had been - in a very destructive manner each time Subaru attempted to come closer.
In the beginning Watanuki had completely lost it, but panic attacks never lasted forever and rational thought had crept back, shamefaced. By then, of course, he had wreaked havoc upon the carefully organised office corner in which he had ensconced himself, and though the method would probably continue to work, he was feeling rather mortified at his own actions. Surely there was a better way to save himself.
But this had led to him wedged behind the desk, before the window, and staring warily at Subaru who was regarding him with a similar expression.
"Watanuki, please listen to me," the older man urged, tensing as if expecting another projectile to come within range of his head. "I'm not trying to hurt you - I just want to see what has been done to you. I don't know what you've been through to inspire this reaction, but I promise that it won't happen again while I'm here." He set down the syringe very deliberately, and Watanuki slowly relaxed just enough that it would be visible.
"You said yourself that I don't know if I can trust you," he observed, surprised that he was thinking and speaking so calmly but not really wanting to question it.
"You're right," Subaru admitted once again, though now the admission seemed to sadden him. "But you trust Shizuka, don't you? He wouldn't have led you into harm's way. He's too honourable for that." He looked so sincere that Watanuki could almost forget that this was the man who had agreed to kill - or help to kill - Doumeki and agreed to subject he, Watanuki, to Seishirou's whim. Doumeki was an annoying bastard, but a trustworthy one. He wouldn't deliberately cause harm to the one he'd rescued from Kyle.
But therein lay the catch - not deliberately. But if he didn't know…
"He might have if he had reason to believe that it was a safe place," Watanuki retorted. Subaru flinched, and the escapee wondered if he had underestimated the degree of the older man's guilt. "Have you killed him yet?"
Subaru flinched again, eyes widening. "I haven't…"
"Is he alive?" Watanuki rephrased, fear becoming a very tangible lump of cold iron in his lungs. If Doumeki was dead, then the escapee was out of hope. There was no way he could make his way to safety on his own. He didn't even know where safety was.
The older man sighed, almost as if in relief but more likely in resignation. "I don't know," he said quietly. "If I find out, will you in turn help me by letting the examination go through?"
"If he's alive, he has to stay that way. And so do I," Watanuki warned before he could consider what he was saying. Listening to himself in dismay, he wondered why he was doing this at all. Besides the fact that he owed Doumeki his life, of course. And the very real possibility of the agent coming back and haunting him. As well as that strange sense of comradeship - not friendship, mind - that they had somehow developed. Then again, perhaps it wasn't so strange for him to want to keep Doumeki alive, then.
Subaru was definitely looking relieved now. "I'll contact Seishirou," he said, pulling out a pager. A moment later he was speaking into it. "Sei - yes, I know - no, I had to make some arrangements - no, not - listen, please, Seishirou. Just meet me in the room we agreed on. Is Shizuka with you?" After a few moments of breath-stealing suspense, Subaru sighed in more relief. "Good. He doesn't need to be there - but part of the deal - yes, that's it. I know." With that perturbing conclusion, he pressed a button and with a beep ended the conversation. "Please come with me," he requested of Watanuki.
The escapee nodded and followed Subaru out the door and down a few halls. Eventually they entered another room, sterile and containing three things of note - an operating table, a shelf of various bits of equipment, and a large light in the center of the room. Watanuki began shaking, but clenched his teeth and forced himself to stay calm. He had promised to let the examination happen, which it could not if he were to panic. A few shaky breaths later, he had a better hold on himself and met Subaru's concerned expression with one of resignation. The stark white walls and sharp scent of bleach that filled his nostrils did little to comfort him, but at least it wasn't darkness or before a crowd.
A minute later, the door opened again and Seishirou insinuated himself in the room. He did nothing so abrupt as enter, but merely appeared as if he had been there all along, smiling his genial, frightening smile. "Well, then, Watanuki," he said, and his voice could have been a needle of itself. "Shall we begin?"
--
Doumeki paced the hall, unhappy to be here but unsure if it would be wise to follow. Sakurazuka's footsteps had not quite left hearing range when he made up his mind, however, and he easily caught up to a point where he could follow. Up glossy, utilitarian black stairs the trail took him, and through wide passages lit with cheap yellow lighting. Finally he heard the sound of a door opening and closing, and slowed down to a silent walk.
The hall he came upon was deserted, with no sign of which direction Sakurazuka had taken. But Doumeki paused in the center, and heard faint voices from a door two rooms back the way he came. Unsure what to do now, he waited outside, ready to run in if he had to. If something went wrong.
The smooth white surface of the door offered little purchase and after a while Doumeki had to find a new surface to rest against. The air in this hall was chilly, the product of unnecessary air conditioning. Voices in the room murmured indecipherably, but he recognised the tones easily. Subaru, Sakurazuka, and Watanuki - so whatever they were doing with him, he was alive and awake. But Watanuki was there, which boded no good. No good at all.
Then a familiar buzzing hum of electronics all but drowned out the voices, and Doumeki drew back in surprise. After watching Kyle for as long as he had, he knew that sound - the operation light, bright enough to illuminate every hidden cavity. There was only one use for it that Doumeki could think of, and he was not about to let that happen.
He had saved Watanuki from a fate full of those kinds of experiences once, and he would not let that go to waste.
Cautiously he eased the door open, to find he needn't have bothered. Both Sakurazuka and Subaru were focused solely on Watanuki, who was obviously restraining himself from… something. But he was not fighting back. For a moment, Doumeki wondered if this had been a willing decision on the other boy's part. Had he assumed incorrectly?
--
Watanuki had felt himself growing increasingly agitated as he was positioned on the table and Subaru prepared the syringe. It was an unspoken agreement between them that Subaru was the more comfortable administer of the very uncomfortable object. Seishirou was just a bit too reminiscent of Kyle - though much sophisticated, bloodthirsty Kyle. Subaru seemed… more accessible. Less like a mad scientist or mass-murderer.
But it was becoming increasingly difficult to control himself, to remind himself that this was only general anaesthetic, to tell himself that he would be all right. His knuckles clenching the smooth, cool cover of the table were white, and his jaw was beginning to ache from being clenched so tightly. But he was lucid, and in control. He could hold on a little longer.
But then Subaru turned around, and for a painfully long moment his eyes focused on the silvery sharp tip of the needle, the way it caught the light. It filled his mind again, and his futile mental cries of desired control were overwhelmed by the panic that boiled up once again, as if it had simply been waiting.
He lost control. For a moment he was struggling in his own body, unable even to see, and next he was shaken into awareness by a loud crack. Subaru had been flung backwards into the shelves, and did not move. On the sterile, white ground beneath him, something pooled brilliant crimson.
Watanuki gasped for breath, eyes widening in comprehension of what he had just done, and turned to Seishirou in fear of what he had just brought upon himself.
The man smiled, but not in a way to suggest that things were going well for either of them. “You two had Subaru’s protection before,” he informed the boy on the operating table. “But since you’ve broken your side of the bargain, I don’t see a reason to uphold mine. There are consequences for your actions…”
Watanuki suddenly had the feeling that Seishirou for all his smiling nature, was actually incredibly angry - and that most of this rage was directed at Watanuki alone. He hadn’t really thought that Seishirou felt any attachement to anyone, but this was apparently not true, at least in Subaru’s case. While this was all well and good in theory, in practice it meant that the very intimidating and very probably bloodthirsty Seishirou would be out for revenge.
Very scared now, Watanuki opened his mouth to explain himself when several things occurred at once. First, Seishirou’s smile turned pleased and pointed; Watanuki looked in the same direction that it pointed and saw - another needle, drawing away from his arm and empty of whatever it had contained. The effect was instantaneous - before he could panic again, he began slipping from consciousness. The door banged open at the same time, and someone was asking frantic questions. The voice sounded vaguely familiar, but it was too late to know now, because everything had blurred together and then abruptly disappeared into some sort of suspension. Consciousness slipped from his grasp like water through a drain, and for a while he knew nothing at all.
--
“Doumeki Shizuka,” Sakurazuko greeted the agent who had burst through the door at what he’d seen. “This time you’re late.”
“What happened to him?” Doumeki demanded, refusing to waste time with pleasantries. But Sakurazuka only laughed in a sinister sort of way and did not reply straight away.
“I take it you saw what he did to Subaru,” he remarked. “It’s pathetic how humans are so easily drawn to new objects of interest.” The smile vanished, replaced by an almost apparent look of loathing and disgust. Doumeki moved then to stand directly between his unconscious guardian and equally unconscious charge, wanting to be in a good position to make a sudden move, should things go in a dangerous direction.
“Watanuki is an idiot for agreeing to go through with something that he knows he’s afraid of,” the agent said offhandedly. His voice reverberated in the small room with an almost metallic sound, sounding far more dramatic than it should have. Sakurazuka did not smile again.
“And you are a fool for sacrificing what little you had for his sake,” the man said almost lazily. “Do you know why he agreed to this examination? Or that he did at all?”
“I don’t,” Doumeki admitted.
“He offered his willingness in exchange for your lives,” Sakurazuka replied. “Yours, and his. But he failed to uphold his side of the deal when he panicked and hurt Subaru.”
Doumeki knew at once what was coming, and in the pause between words made his decision quickly. He hated to leave either of them behind, but thinking reasonably, Subaru would be safe here. Despite outward appearances, Sakurazuka obviously had some sort of attachment to him - but none to Watanuki. On the contrary, the boy would stand little chance of surviving in this company.
The expected words came. “Your life is forfeit now, as it should have been a long time ago,” Sakurazuka said, smile finally returning in all its bloodthirsty glory. “Subaru won’t be able to help you here, unfortunately for you.” He moved to pull something from a pocket in his coat, but Doumeki was faster.
The agent quickly lunged for the prone Watanuki and scooped him up with both arms before dashing for the door. Behind him Sakurazuka threw something, but if it pierced his skin or made any contact at all, Doumeki was to adrenalised to notice. He ran out and away, knowing it was only a matter of time before the defenses were mobilised. He couldn’t escape the building entirely - but there was one place he could go in which both of them would be safe.
Disregarding the elevator - it was too easily a trap - he took the stairs as quickly as good sense allowed, and after about five minutes of lung-splitting running Doumeki descended into the relievingly dark basement. Here he slowed to a walk, readjusted his grip on Watanuki, and effectively disappeared as far as the rest of the people here were concerned.
They were safe for now, he knew. And fortunately, he had an ace up his sleeve.
I would have posted this Saturday, but I have not had Internet since Thursday save for spans of about five minutes. So this is last week's installment.
Title: Code Blue Part II (6/7)
Fandom: xxxHOLiC
Wordcount: 2,301
A/N: RIFE with errors as usual. Also be warned; I wrote this on a laptop computer late at night while on a long car ride. If it stops making sense, tell me, and I'll attempt to salvage what little I can of the situation.
Previous Chapters / Part One
Watanuki was caught in a rather uncomfortable situation, to say the least. But if what Subaru wanted involved injections, there was no way he would agree to it. It probably had something to do with what he'd suffered at Kyle's hands, but he was finding that the very sight of a needle was sending him into panic attacks as bad as he had struggled through in his days of indentured servitude. This he was demonstrating - or had been - in a very destructive manner each time Subaru attempted to come closer.
In the beginning Watanuki had completely lost it, but panic attacks never lasted forever and rational thought had crept back, shamefaced. By then, of course, he had wreaked havoc upon the carefully organised office corner in which he had ensconced himself, and though the method would probably continue to work, he was feeling rather mortified at his own actions. Surely there was a better way to save himself.
But this had led to him wedged behind the desk, before the window, and staring warily at Subaru who was regarding him with a similar expression.
"Watanuki, please listen to me," the older man urged, tensing as if expecting another projectile to come within range of his head. "I'm not trying to hurt you - I just want to see what has been done to you. I don't know what you've been through to inspire this reaction, but I promise that it won't happen again while I'm here." He set down the syringe very deliberately, and Watanuki slowly relaxed just enough that it would be visible.
"You said yourself that I don't know if I can trust you," he observed, surprised that he was thinking and speaking so calmly but not really wanting to question it.
"You're right," Subaru admitted once again, though now the admission seemed to sadden him. "But you trust Shizuka, don't you? He wouldn't have led you into harm's way. He's too honourable for that." He looked so sincere that Watanuki could almost forget that this was the man who had agreed to kill - or help to kill - Doumeki and agreed to subject he, Watanuki, to Seishirou's whim. Doumeki was an annoying bastard, but a trustworthy one. He wouldn't deliberately cause harm to the one he'd rescued from Kyle.
But therein lay the catch - not deliberately. But if he didn't know…
"He might have if he had reason to believe that it was a safe place," Watanuki retorted. Subaru flinched, and the escapee wondered if he had underestimated the degree of the older man's guilt. "Have you killed him yet?"
Subaru flinched again, eyes widening. "I haven't…"
"Is he alive?" Watanuki rephrased, fear becoming a very tangible lump of cold iron in his lungs. If Doumeki was dead, then the escapee was out of hope. There was no way he could make his way to safety on his own. He didn't even know where safety was.
The older man sighed, almost as if in relief but more likely in resignation. "I don't know," he said quietly. "If I find out, will you in turn help me by letting the examination go through?"
"If he's alive, he has to stay that way. And so do I," Watanuki warned before he could consider what he was saying. Listening to himself in dismay, he wondered why he was doing this at all. Besides the fact that he owed Doumeki his life, of course. And the very real possibility of the agent coming back and haunting him. As well as that strange sense of comradeship - not friendship, mind - that they had somehow developed. Then again, perhaps it wasn't so strange for him to want to keep Doumeki alive, then.
Subaru was definitely looking relieved now. "I'll contact Seishirou," he said, pulling out a pager. A moment later he was speaking into it. "Sei - yes, I know - no, I had to make some arrangements - no, not - listen, please, Seishirou. Just meet me in the room we agreed on. Is Shizuka with you?" After a few moments of breath-stealing suspense, Subaru sighed in more relief. "Good. He doesn't need to be there - but part of the deal - yes, that's it. I know." With that perturbing conclusion, he pressed a button and with a beep ended the conversation. "Please come with me," he requested of Watanuki.
The escapee nodded and followed Subaru out the door and down a few halls. Eventually they entered another room, sterile and containing three things of note - an operating table, a shelf of various bits of equipment, and a large light in the center of the room. Watanuki began shaking, but clenched his teeth and forced himself to stay calm. He had promised to let the examination happen, which it could not if he were to panic. A few shaky breaths later, he had a better hold on himself and met Subaru's concerned expression with one of resignation. The stark white walls and sharp scent of bleach that filled his nostrils did little to comfort him, but at least it wasn't darkness or before a crowd.
A minute later, the door opened again and Seishirou insinuated himself in the room. He did nothing so abrupt as enter, but merely appeared as if he had been there all along, smiling his genial, frightening smile. "Well, then, Watanuki," he said, and his voice could have been a needle of itself. "Shall we begin?"
--
Doumeki paced the hall, unhappy to be here but unsure if it would be wise to follow. Sakurazuka's footsteps had not quite left hearing range when he made up his mind, however, and he easily caught up to a point where he could follow. Up glossy, utilitarian black stairs the trail took him, and through wide passages lit with cheap yellow lighting. Finally he heard the sound of a door opening and closing, and slowed down to a silent walk.
The hall he came upon was deserted, with no sign of which direction Sakurazuka had taken. But Doumeki paused in the center, and heard faint voices from a door two rooms back the way he came. Unsure what to do now, he waited outside, ready to run in if he had to. If something went wrong.
The smooth white surface of the door offered little purchase and after a while Doumeki had to find a new surface to rest against. The air in this hall was chilly, the product of unnecessary air conditioning. Voices in the room murmured indecipherably, but he recognised the tones easily. Subaru, Sakurazuka, and Watanuki - so whatever they were doing with him, he was alive and awake. But Watanuki was there, which boded no good. No good at all.
Then a familiar buzzing hum of electronics all but drowned out the voices, and Doumeki drew back in surprise. After watching Kyle for as long as he had, he knew that sound - the operation light, bright enough to illuminate every hidden cavity. There was only one use for it that Doumeki could think of, and he was not about to let that happen.
He had saved Watanuki from a fate full of those kinds of experiences once, and he would not let that go to waste.
Cautiously he eased the door open, to find he needn't have bothered. Both Sakurazuka and Subaru were focused solely on Watanuki, who was obviously restraining himself from… something. But he was not fighting back. For a moment, Doumeki wondered if this had been a willing decision on the other boy's part. Had he assumed incorrectly?
--
Watanuki had felt himself growing increasingly agitated as he was positioned on the table and Subaru prepared the syringe. It was an unspoken agreement between them that Subaru was the more comfortable administer of the very uncomfortable object. Seishirou was just a bit too reminiscent of Kyle - though much sophisticated, bloodthirsty Kyle. Subaru seemed… more accessible. Less like a mad scientist or mass-murderer.
But it was becoming increasingly difficult to control himself, to remind himself that this was only general anaesthetic, to tell himself that he would be all right. His knuckles clenching the smooth, cool cover of the table were white, and his jaw was beginning to ache from being clenched so tightly. But he was lucid, and in control. He could hold on a little longer.
But then Subaru turned around, and for a painfully long moment his eyes focused on the silvery sharp tip of the needle, the way it caught the light. It filled his mind again, and his futile mental cries of desired control were overwhelmed by the panic that boiled up once again, as if it had simply been waiting.
He lost control. For a moment he was struggling in his own body, unable even to see, and next he was shaken into awareness by a loud crack. Subaru had been flung backwards into the shelves, and did not move. On the sterile, white ground beneath him, something pooled brilliant crimson.
Watanuki gasped for breath, eyes widening in comprehension of what he had just done, and turned to Seishirou in fear of what he had just brought upon himself.
The man smiled, but not in a way to suggest that things were going well for either of them. “You two had Subaru’s protection before,” he informed the boy on the operating table. “But since you’ve broken your side of the bargain, I don’t see a reason to uphold mine. There are consequences for your actions…”
Watanuki suddenly had the feeling that Seishirou for all his smiling nature, was actually incredibly angry - and that most of this rage was directed at Watanuki alone. He hadn’t really thought that Seishirou felt any attachement to anyone, but this was apparently not true, at least in Subaru’s case. While this was all well and good in theory, in practice it meant that the very intimidating and very probably bloodthirsty Seishirou would be out for revenge.
Very scared now, Watanuki opened his mouth to explain himself when several things occurred at once. First, Seishirou’s smile turned pleased and pointed; Watanuki looked in the same direction that it pointed and saw - another needle, drawing away from his arm and empty of whatever it had contained. The effect was instantaneous - before he could panic again, he began slipping from consciousness. The door banged open at the same time, and someone was asking frantic questions. The voice sounded vaguely familiar, but it was too late to know now, because everything had blurred together and then abruptly disappeared into some sort of suspension. Consciousness slipped from his grasp like water through a drain, and for a while he knew nothing at all.
--
“Doumeki Shizuka,” Sakurazuko greeted the agent who had burst through the door at what he’d seen. “This time you’re late.”
“What happened to him?” Doumeki demanded, refusing to waste time with pleasantries. But Sakurazuka only laughed in a sinister sort of way and did not reply straight away.
“I take it you saw what he did to Subaru,” he remarked. “It’s pathetic how humans are so easily drawn to new objects of interest.” The smile vanished, replaced by an almost apparent look of loathing and disgust. Doumeki moved then to stand directly between his unconscious guardian and equally unconscious charge, wanting to be in a good position to make a sudden move, should things go in a dangerous direction.
“Watanuki is an idiot for agreeing to go through with something that he knows he’s afraid of,” the agent said offhandedly. His voice reverberated in the small room with an almost metallic sound, sounding far more dramatic than it should have. Sakurazuka did not smile again.
“And you are a fool for sacrificing what little you had for his sake,” the man said almost lazily. “Do you know why he agreed to this examination? Or that he did at all?”
“I don’t,” Doumeki admitted.
“He offered his willingness in exchange for your lives,” Sakurazuka replied. “Yours, and his. But he failed to uphold his side of the deal when he panicked and hurt Subaru.”
Doumeki knew at once what was coming, and in the pause between words made his decision quickly. He hated to leave either of them behind, but thinking reasonably, Subaru would be safe here. Despite outward appearances, Sakurazuka obviously had some sort of attachment to him - but none to Watanuki. On the contrary, the boy would stand little chance of surviving in this company.
The expected words came. “Your life is forfeit now, as it should have been a long time ago,” Sakurazuka said, smile finally returning in all its bloodthirsty glory. “Subaru won’t be able to help you here, unfortunately for you.” He moved to pull something from a pocket in his coat, but Doumeki was faster.
The agent quickly lunged for the prone Watanuki and scooped him up with both arms before dashing for the door. Behind him Sakurazuka threw something, but if it pierced his skin or made any contact at all, Doumeki was to adrenalised to notice. He ran out and away, knowing it was only a matter of time before the defenses were mobilised. He couldn’t escape the building entirely - but there was one place he could go in which both of them would be safe.
Disregarding the elevator - it was too easily a trap - he took the stairs as quickly as good sense allowed, and after about five minutes of lung-splitting running Doumeki descended into the relievingly dark basement. Here he slowed to a walk, readjusted his grip on Watanuki, and effectively disappeared as far as the rest of the people here were concerned.
They were safe for now, he knew. And fortunately, he had an ace up his sleeve.