"Sex." "Ooh?" "SeCTS." "Aw."
You guessed it, it's more Megamind fic. Because the OCpocalypse had to hit sometime.
Title: Rogues Gallery
Fandom: Megamind
Summary: A hero needs villains. (Also read: SUDDENLY, OCS. THOUSANDS SEVEN OF THEM.)
Rating: Eh, it’s pretty PG. Mild suggestiveness in one bit, but that’s really it.
Disclaimer: Totally unaffiliated with this movie in any way except that I really enjoyed it.
The confrontation with Doctor Implausible was… well, it was awkward.
For a first-time villain, he’d done incredibly well. He had the mad-scientist patter down pat, and his shrink ray was one of the best designs Megamind had ever seen- excepting his own, of course. It should have been nearly impossible to beat. That was the problem, really.
“Look,” he said quietly, before the police and the news team showed up, “this isn’t going to work out.”
“What?” said Doctor Implausible. “Why? Did I do something wrong? Was it the laugh? I knew the laugh would-”
“No, no, the laugh was fine,” Megamind cut in. “The laugh was excellent. You’re really very good, or- well- very evil, I guess. But look, two genius scientists? It’s never going to be a challenge, do you see what I mean?”
Doctor Implausible frowned. Behind his reflective lab goggles, his eyes might have been worried. “I see,” he said. “You’re right. But what else can I do?”
“There are lots of other cities. You can-” But the sound of approaching sirens interrupted him. “Go,” he said, hauling the scientist to his feet. “I’ll cover for you. Just don’t come back, or I’m going to look really stupid.”
---
He’d thought that, with his dehydration gun, Undertow would be an easy victory. As it turned out, though, her water powers negated its effect. During their first battle he’d had to improvise like mad to keep her from completely swamping his lair.
“You wanted a challenge,” Roxanne pointed out, tipping water out of a shoe. The water on the floor was down to a few inches.
He looked up from the jury-rigged draining mechanism and grinned. “I know.” This one was going to be fun.
---
He doesn’t remember repeatedly, if accidentally, dehydrating the same alley cat, but he supposes he did. And he supposes he has Doctor Implausible to thank for splicing the cat with human genes before leaving Metrocity.
Man-Cat doesn’t want to take over or destroy the city. He basically has one objective: get Megamind. It’s refreshingly direct, really.
And sure, the fights are painful sometimes- Man-Cat has claws and he knows how to use them- but his mind is still mostly a cat’s, and even when he wins he lets Megamind go.
He almost wishes he’d thought of cats himself. If they could be trained to laugh villainously, they’d be perfect.
---
All things considered, he was glad they had only had to fight Duplicity once. Defeating a villain who could copy herself at will was complicated and exhausting, plus it led to some really weird plans.
“What is this supposed to be?” Roxanne said, lifting an eyebrow at the tangle of wires and machinery surrounding the strange pod-chair.
“Cloning machine!” he laughed, brandishing his soldering iron. “We’ll see how she likes fighting multiple copies of me!”
“Hmm,” she said with a mischievous half-smile, “two of you- no, wait, no, that’s a terrible plan. That is the worst plan.”
“Fine,” said Megamind, “it doesn’t have to be me. We can clone Minion. Or you.”
Roxanne sighed. “I don’t think cloning is the solution here, Megamind.”
“Hmm,” he said, lost in thought, “two Roxannes…”
She shook her head and left. Maybe Minion had a better idea.
---
The worst two are The Devil and The Magician. They seem to operate by a different set of rules- it’s like they’re from another kind of world. They’re, quite frankly, terrifying.
The Magician is tall and thin and pale and calm, and The Devil is usually short but he’s always in a different body- some of them look like robots or magical constructs, but somehow you always know it’s him. They hold hands a lot of the time. Between them, they can persuade people to do nearly anything, but afterward no one really remembers what it was.
But the really terrifying thing is that they don’t try. Sometimes they get around to enacting a plan, and when Megamind foils it, they just sort of smile. “You know, we’ll get you eventually,” The Devil says, and The Magician smiles, and it isn’t a boast. It’s just true.
When he isn’t fighting them, he relies on hoping they’ll get bored with Metrocity and just leave. Even by his standards, it isn’t a very good plan.
---
Sometimes Metrocity’s would-be villains ask him for advice. That might be the weirdest part. It’s probably a conflict of interest, the hero advising the villain, but he figures he’s done it the other way around already.
He still didn’t expect any of them to turn up in his lair, though. That time was, well, it was a surprise.
The first thing he saw was the huge shape silhouetted against the faint glow from the consoles. He grabbed the nearest ray gun before even turning on the lights. “Minion!” he shouted. “Brainbots! Somebody do things!”
When the lights cut on, all the instruments in the room were pointed at the intruder, who had both huge gray hands raised in surrender. “It’s okay,” he said, “I’m just- I’m just here to talk. Um.”
Megamind lowered the ray gun. If he wanted to attack, he probably would have done it already. “It’s Quarry, right? Sit down.”
“I, uh, think I’ll stand.” Quarry scratched his stony head, looking embarrassed. “I don’t want to break your chair.”
“Suit yourself,” Megamind shrugged. He leaned on a console. “What’s up?”
Quarry fidgeted, an action that looked strange on his huge frame. “Um,” he said, and then took a breath. “Do you think I need a gimmick?”
Megamind blinked. “Well, you- I mean, you’re made of rock, that’s a pretty good bit right there.”
“Yeah, but I don’t know- I feel like I’m missing something. There’s not that much I can do with this-“ he gestured vaguely at himself- “you know?”
“I’ll tell you what I told the first villain I ever fought,” said Megamind. “The difference between a villain and a supervillain is presentation.”
“Presentation,” the stone man repeated, thoughtful. “Huh. Okay.” He nodded. “Thanks, man, that helps.”
Megamind was still sort of bemused, but he smiled. Quarry looked like he could use the reassurance. “No problem,” he said.
He smiled even more a few weeks later, when Quarry reappeared as Rockstar, on a hover-stage over the reflecting pool with fog machines and music blasting.
It’s so rewarding, in a weird way, watching them grow up.
---
Everyone except Roxanne was surprised when Bernard- the real Bernard- didn’t become a villain. He would have been justified, in an “after-everything-you-did-to-me” way. Megamind was practically expecting it.
You have to have feelings for that to matter, though, Roxanne pointed out.
Instead she got Megamind to offer him the position of head curator at the museum. Which, since he was clearly the obvious choice, he accepted- without any “you-can’t-buy-my-forgiveness” posturing. Feelings, Roxanne had to point out again.
Minion insisted that they should keep an eye on him anyway, but when a year went by without any signs of villainous activity from that direction, they chalked it up to “never going to happen.”
Which was just as well. They had their hands full already.
(Extra credit illustrations: Undertow, Duplicity, and Doctor Implausible. And there may be more to come.)
Title: Rogues Gallery
Fandom: Megamind
Summary: A hero needs villains. (Also read: SUDDENLY, OCS. THOUSANDS SEVEN OF THEM.)
Rating: Eh, it’s pretty PG. Mild suggestiveness in one bit, but that’s really it.
Disclaimer: Totally unaffiliated with this movie in any way except that I really enjoyed it.
The confrontation with Doctor Implausible was… well, it was awkward.
For a first-time villain, he’d done incredibly well. He had the mad-scientist patter down pat, and his shrink ray was one of the best designs Megamind had ever seen- excepting his own, of course. It should have been nearly impossible to beat. That was the problem, really.
“Look,” he said quietly, before the police and the news team showed up, “this isn’t going to work out.”
“What?” said Doctor Implausible. “Why? Did I do something wrong? Was it the laugh? I knew the laugh would-”
“No, no, the laugh was fine,” Megamind cut in. “The laugh was excellent. You’re really very good, or- well- very evil, I guess. But look, two genius scientists? It’s never going to be a challenge, do you see what I mean?”
Doctor Implausible frowned. Behind his reflective lab goggles, his eyes might have been worried. “I see,” he said. “You’re right. But what else can I do?”
“There are lots of other cities. You can-” But the sound of approaching sirens interrupted him. “Go,” he said, hauling the scientist to his feet. “I’ll cover for you. Just don’t come back, or I’m going to look really stupid.”
---
He’d thought that, with his dehydration gun, Undertow would be an easy victory. As it turned out, though, her water powers negated its effect. During their first battle he’d had to improvise like mad to keep her from completely swamping his lair.
“You wanted a challenge,” Roxanne pointed out, tipping water out of a shoe. The water on the floor was down to a few inches.
He looked up from the jury-rigged draining mechanism and grinned. “I know.” This one was going to be fun.
---
He doesn’t remember repeatedly, if accidentally, dehydrating the same alley cat, but he supposes he did. And he supposes he has Doctor Implausible to thank for splicing the cat with human genes before leaving Metrocity.
Man-Cat doesn’t want to take over or destroy the city. He basically has one objective: get Megamind. It’s refreshingly direct, really.
And sure, the fights are painful sometimes- Man-Cat has claws and he knows how to use them- but his mind is still mostly a cat’s, and even when he wins he lets Megamind go.
He almost wishes he’d thought of cats himself. If they could be trained to laugh villainously, they’d be perfect.
---
All things considered, he was glad they had only had to fight Duplicity once. Defeating a villain who could copy herself at will was complicated and exhausting, plus it led to some really weird plans.
“What is this supposed to be?” Roxanne said, lifting an eyebrow at the tangle of wires and machinery surrounding the strange pod-chair.
“Cloning machine!” he laughed, brandishing his soldering iron. “We’ll see how she likes fighting multiple copies of me!”
“Hmm,” she said with a mischievous half-smile, “two of you- no, wait, no, that’s a terrible plan. That is the worst plan.”
“Fine,” said Megamind, “it doesn’t have to be me. We can clone Minion. Or you.”
Roxanne sighed. “I don’t think cloning is the solution here, Megamind.”
“Hmm,” he said, lost in thought, “two Roxannes…”
She shook her head and left. Maybe Minion had a better idea.
---
The worst two are The Devil and The Magician. They seem to operate by a different set of rules- it’s like they’re from another kind of world. They’re, quite frankly, terrifying.
The Magician is tall and thin and pale and calm, and The Devil is usually short but he’s always in a different body- some of them look like robots or magical constructs, but somehow you always know it’s him. They hold hands a lot of the time. Between them, they can persuade people to do nearly anything, but afterward no one really remembers what it was.
But the really terrifying thing is that they don’t try. Sometimes they get around to enacting a plan, and when Megamind foils it, they just sort of smile. “You know, we’ll get you eventually,” The Devil says, and The Magician smiles, and it isn’t a boast. It’s just true.
When he isn’t fighting them, he relies on hoping they’ll get bored with Metrocity and just leave. Even by his standards, it isn’t a very good plan.
---
Sometimes Metrocity’s would-be villains ask him for advice. That might be the weirdest part. It’s probably a conflict of interest, the hero advising the villain, but he figures he’s done it the other way around already.
He still didn’t expect any of them to turn up in his lair, though. That time was, well, it was a surprise.
The first thing he saw was the huge shape silhouetted against the faint glow from the consoles. He grabbed the nearest ray gun before even turning on the lights. “Minion!” he shouted. “Brainbots! Somebody do things!”
When the lights cut on, all the instruments in the room were pointed at the intruder, who had both huge gray hands raised in surrender. “It’s okay,” he said, “I’m just- I’m just here to talk. Um.”
Megamind lowered the ray gun. If he wanted to attack, he probably would have done it already. “It’s Quarry, right? Sit down.”
“I, uh, think I’ll stand.” Quarry scratched his stony head, looking embarrassed. “I don’t want to break your chair.”
“Suit yourself,” Megamind shrugged. He leaned on a console. “What’s up?”
Quarry fidgeted, an action that looked strange on his huge frame. “Um,” he said, and then took a breath. “Do you think I need a gimmick?”
Megamind blinked. “Well, you- I mean, you’re made of rock, that’s a pretty good bit right there.”
“Yeah, but I don’t know- I feel like I’m missing something. There’s not that much I can do with this-“ he gestured vaguely at himself- “you know?”
“I’ll tell you what I told the first villain I ever fought,” said Megamind. “The difference between a villain and a supervillain is presentation.”
“Presentation,” the stone man repeated, thoughtful. “Huh. Okay.” He nodded. “Thanks, man, that helps.”
Megamind was still sort of bemused, but he smiled. Quarry looked like he could use the reassurance. “No problem,” he said.
He smiled even more a few weeks later, when Quarry reappeared as Rockstar, on a hover-stage over the reflecting pool with fog machines and music blasting.
It’s so rewarding, in a weird way, watching them grow up.
---
Everyone except Roxanne was surprised when Bernard- the real Bernard- didn’t become a villain. He would have been justified, in an “after-everything-you-did-to-me” way. Megamind was practically expecting it.
You have to have feelings for that to matter, though, Roxanne pointed out.
Instead she got Megamind to offer him the position of head curator at the museum. Which, since he was clearly the obvious choice, he accepted- without any “you-can’t-buy-my-forgiveness” posturing. Feelings, Roxanne had to point out again.
Minion insisted that they should keep an eye on him anyway, but when a year went by without any signs of villainous activity from that direction, they chalked it up to “never going to happen.”
Which was just as well. They had their hands full already.
(Extra credit illustrations: Undertow, Duplicity, and Doctor Implausible. And there may be more to come.)