dia
i think there comes a point in everyones life when the realization of your insignificance and the delicacy of life is completely comprehended in a body shaking, eye shutting moment
for some
this moment is seen
then quickly put a side as depressing
for others
it leads them to religion
to their gods/god/no god; whatever their hearts may choose
now i came to this realization
at the tender age of 8
my aunt was visiting
i was sleeping in my sisters room because i believe my bunk bed was broken by my dad
i would always imagine God and people from the bible as sitting in the universe in roman outfits
i would always imagine the inside of my eyes as some infinite blankness where my thoughts wandered
but i remember coming to this realization
and walking crying to my mother
asking her i believe
what happens when you die
she says something like u die and sometimes go to heaven
i dont remember clearly
and i just walked back to my room
or my sisters room
and went to sleep crying
most likely
again i dont remember
i woke up the next day just as carefree as the next kid
i was remineded of this event when a friend of my friend died
at it was he first time she ever really thought in depth about death
and she went and had an conversation with her mother about it
and i was struck
because here she was at 17/16 of age finally reaching this truth
when i had reached it long ago at age 8
i thought
is this a sign of my maturity
or of someone elses immaturity or sheltered life
i have yet to come to a conclusion about this
but now
thinking about it
i didn't live my life any differently because of this realization
it hasn't defined me for one complete day of my 6 years since then
and i think what a waste, what a complete waste
i'm not saying i could of changed the world at age 8
but the fact that i was lucky enough to come to this conclusion at such a young age
that fact that i was able to find out about the delicacy of life
that i could of from that point define my life by this and how fortunate i was to be living
and i know i'm doing soething that i've supposedly dun at least 5 or 6 times before
but somehow
i believe that with God on my side
i will be able to achieve a focus and quality of life that i want
and reach the expectation and goals i've set for my life
so now
i truly believe that this is the axis
the turning point
the pivot
the deviation in my lifes plan
that will change the world
12:15
12-21
tuesday
on my laptop
peace out
A town
for some
this moment is seen
then quickly put a side as depressing
for others
it leads them to religion
to their gods/god/no god; whatever their hearts may choose
now i came to this realization
at the tender age of 8
my aunt was visiting
i was sleeping in my sisters room because i believe my bunk bed was broken by my dad
i would always imagine God and people from the bible as sitting in the universe in roman outfits
i would always imagine the inside of my eyes as some infinite blankness where my thoughts wandered
but i remember coming to this realization
and walking crying to my mother
asking her i believe
what happens when you die
she says something like u die and sometimes go to heaven
i dont remember clearly
and i just walked back to my room
or my sisters room
and went to sleep crying
most likely
again i dont remember
i woke up the next day just as carefree as the next kid
i was remineded of this event when a friend of my friend died
at it was he first time she ever really thought in depth about death
and she went and had an conversation with her mother about it
and i was struck
because here she was at 17/16 of age finally reaching this truth
when i had reached it long ago at age 8
i thought
is this a sign of my maturity
or of someone elses immaturity or sheltered life
i have yet to come to a conclusion about this
but now
thinking about it
i didn't live my life any differently because of this realization
it hasn't defined me for one complete day of my 6 years since then
and i think what a waste, what a complete waste
i'm not saying i could of changed the world at age 8
but the fact that i was lucky enough to come to this conclusion at such a young age
that fact that i was able to find out about the delicacy of life
that i could of from that point define my life by this and how fortunate i was to be living
and i know i'm doing soething that i've supposedly dun at least 5 or 6 times before
but somehow
i believe that with God on my side
i will be able to achieve a focus and quality of life that i want
and reach the expectation and goals i've set for my life
so now
i truly believe that this is the axis
the turning point
the pivot
the deviation in my lifes plan
that will change the world
12:15
12-21
tuesday
on my laptop
peace out
A town