uuuuuuuuuuuugh i am not okay
we've known this was coming, but it doesn't make it any easier. i don't understand why this keeps happening to us. i really can't handle much more. they took my aunt patty off of life support last night and they called this morning and said her breathing was shallow. my dad and pawpaw and uncle bubby were there last night but they weren't there today when it happened, she was all alone. she was all alone in some stupid nursing home 4 hours away. she was only in her 50's and so was my uncle herb, we weren't supposed to lose either of them this soon. it's only been a year and half of our family has been wiped out, i don't understand.
it all started in june with pigger...
then a couple weeks before christmas last year, my uncle thomas died.
then my mawmaw on christmas. that was the worst thing that'd ever happened to me.
and then a week later her dog.
then a week after that my uncle herb.
then a month later my childhood kitty, jo, then a week after her, fluffy our bunny.
then my dad's friend died.
then my uncle jimmy's sister.
then my pawpaw's sister.
then my aunt patty got sick and not even a year after her mom and brother, she's gone too.
every time someone else dies i feel like i'm losing all of them all over again.
my dad has just lost 3 pets, his mom, his brother, his aunt, his friend and now his sister.
my pawpaw has lost his old dog, his sister-in-law, his wife, his son, his daughter and his sister.
this just isn't supposed to happen to people this fast. we don't even get proper time to mourn before another loved one dies.
we're all just exhausted. you can only handle so much at one time and this is just too much.
i saw her on wednesday and she winked at me and said she loved me and blew me kisses. she was in so much pain. i'm relieved she doesn't hurt anymore, but i can't help it, i miss her SO much. i miss all of them so much i don't know what to do. it just HURTS.
i don't know what to do.
i don't ever want to forget anything about any of them. my family is SO close and we can't handle this. everytime someone dies we lose a piece of ourselves. it's my birthday wednesday and i don't even care. i don't want to do it, i don't want to do christmas. nothing is ever going to be the same when half of us are gone.
long perfect fingernails.
long brown hair with a clip at the top.
board games in the camper.
always happiest.
always appreciated us the most.
unicorns.
elvis.
pennies.
baby raccoon.
kimi jean.
little puppy.
making mud people with flower skirts at the riverbank.
it all started in june with pigger...
then a couple weeks before christmas last year, my uncle thomas died.
then my mawmaw on christmas. that was the worst thing that'd ever happened to me.
and then a week later her dog.
then a week after that my uncle herb.
then a month later my childhood kitty, jo, then a week after her, fluffy our bunny.
then my dad's friend died.
then my uncle jimmy's sister.
then my pawpaw's sister.
then my aunt patty got sick and not even a year after her mom and brother, she's gone too.
every time someone else dies i feel like i'm losing all of them all over again.
my dad has just lost 3 pets, his mom, his brother, his aunt, his friend and now his sister.
my pawpaw has lost his old dog, his sister-in-law, his wife, his son, his daughter and his sister.
this just isn't supposed to happen to people this fast. we don't even get proper time to mourn before another loved one dies.
we're all just exhausted. you can only handle so much at one time and this is just too much.
i saw her on wednesday and she winked at me and said she loved me and blew me kisses. she was in so much pain. i'm relieved she doesn't hurt anymore, but i can't help it, i miss her SO much. i miss all of them so much i don't know what to do. it just HURTS.
i don't know what to do.
i don't ever want to forget anything about any of them. my family is SO close and we can't handle this. everytime someone dies we lose a piece of ourselves. it's my birthday wednesday and i don't even care. i don't want to do it, i don't want to do christmas. nothing is ever going to be the same when half of us are gone.
long perfect fingernails.
long brown hair with a clip at the top.
board games in the camper.
always happiest.
always appreciated us the most.
unicorns.
elvis.
pennies.
baby raccoon.
kimi jean.
little puppy.
making mud people with flower skirts at the riverbank.