(no subject)
3:45 am
My mom is leaving in a few hours to go to Colorado. I follow Tuesday.
Julia's party has ended. I am the only survivor because when Im freaked out I cant sleep. And right now, I am FREAKED OUT. So there is no way in hell Im going to recap the night because that is just plain unneeded. But lets just say it wound up with a few confusing Sam realted thoughts and a bunch of Julia hitting on Daniel. Which didnt make me freak out at all. Not at all.
I cant get attached, I dont get attached, I WILL NOT FUCKING GET ATTACHED. I will not. I like Sam, did since 4th grade and before kinda. His timing SUCKS because anything would be better then 3 days before I leave. Hell, 6 days before I leave would have been suiting. But alas. And then Dan had to show up. Yes he did. And Julia in her stupidity told be she liked him. Dan is the number one reason I am the emotionally detached freak that I am. And then to see my best friend relentlessly hanging on him (EVEN THOUGH she made out with the shadey kid that I cant recall even being here) kinda made me want to throw a fit. I did not though, because I am just that good. I insted took a shower. I love showers. They make me happy. Especially ones like Julias. Very clean and warm. But yea......"We'll see eachother again someday". As true as it may be, seeing as I will come back to visit in about 2 months, who the hell says that?! I mean honestly. Talk about unneeded melodrama. But yea. I will see him again someday. And ya know what? Its going to have the same god damn effect on me then as it does now. Because I am just that retarded. And to be perfectly honest I will always put my girls before my boys but I will never look at Julia the same if she ends up with him. I think I would just pretend to drop off the face of the earth and not talk to her or something so I wouldnt have to deal with it. That or just kill myself. Metephorically speaking. Is thats possible. Psuedo-side. Gospel according to Larry anyone? Yea.. no... But still. You get the idea. You being my imaginary friend who listens to all my issues and DOES NOT make out with my friends. THough if I was to have a Fake friend it would be a boy because i dont think I would even be able to imagine a girl who wasnt backstabbing and bitchy. fucking girls.... why oh why dont I have a penis. You know, I was talking about this with someone awhile ago, I would really fail at being a female if all the stereotypes were supposed to be fufilled to get a women degree or something. Hell I am probably going to fail at life anyway because I am unmedicated. I am loosing it. In fact Im past that.
Im just gone.
I think its due time I just shut the fuck up and pass the fuck out. It would be better that way. I think putting this on private would be well thought out as well.
My mom is leaving in a few hours to go to Colorado. I follow Tuesday.
Julia's party has ended. I am the only survivor because when Im freaked out I cant sleep. And right now, I am FREAKED OUT. So there is no way in hell Im going to recap the night because that is just plain unneeded. But lets just say it wound up with a few confusing Sam realted thoughts and a bunch of Julia hitting on Daniel. Which didnt make me freak out at all. Not at all.
I cant get attached, I dont get attached, I WILL NOT FUCKING GET ATTACHED. I will not. I like Sam, did since 4th grade and before kinda. His timing SUCKS because anything would be better then 3 days before I leave. Hell, 6 days before I leave would have been suiting. But alas. And then Dan had to show up. Yes he did. And Julia in her stupidity told be she liked him. Dan is the number one reason I am the emotionally detached freak that I am. And then to see my best friend relentlessly hanging on him (EVEN THOUGH she made out with the shadey kid that I cant recall even being here) kinda made me want to throw a fit. I did not though, because I am just that good. I insted took a shower. I love showers. They make me happy. Especially ones like Julias. Very clean and warm. But yea......"We'll see eachother again someday". As true as it may be, seeing as I will come back to visit in about 2 months, who the hell says that?! I mean honestly. Talk about unneeded melodrama. But yea. I will see him again someday. And ya know what? Its going to have the same god damn effect on me then as it does now. Because I am just that retarded. And to be perfectly honest I will always put my girls before my boys but I will never look at Julia the same if she ends up with him. I think I would just pretend to drop off the face of the earth and not talk to her or something so I wouldnt have to deal with it. That or just kill myself. Metephorically speaking. Is thats possible. Psuedo-side. Gospel according to Larry anyone? Yea.. no... But still. You get the idea. You being my imaginary friend who listens to all my issues and DOES NOT make out with my friends. THough if I was to have a Fake friend it would be a boy because i dont think I would even be able to imagine a girl who wasnt backstabbing and bitchy. fucking girls.... why oh why dont I have a penis. You know, I was talking about this with someone awhile ago, I would really fail at being a female if all the stereotypes were supposed to be fufilled to get a women degree or something. Hell I am probably going to fail at life anyway because I am unmedicated. I am loosing it. In fact Im past that.
Im just gone.
I think its due time I just shut the fuck up and pass the fuck out. It would be better that way. I think putting this on private would be well thought out as well.