This Modern Love, Breaks Me

Mar 16, 2008 17:20

What is modern love? I'm brainstorming for an essay, and I want some opinions ( Read more... )

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phaedrus17 March 17 2008, 03:54:02 UTC
Isn't "modern love" oxymoronic?

As to writing the essay...

Step 1: Watch TV.
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Profit!!!

Or just write about that song.

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iamascientist March 17 2008, 04:23:31 UTC
the 2 songs?
Bloc Party or beloved David Bowie.

And ew, no tv.

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phaedrus17 March 17 2008, 22:19:09 UTC
David Bowie, of course. I don't even know the Bloc Party song.

You could always check out the romance section at your local bookstore, if you don't want to watch horrible television. I don't know whether horrible writing is preferable to horrible television, but I think that's the closest you're going to get to understanding the indistinct fuzzy ball of emptiness that passes as "modern love."

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iamascientist March 17 2008, 22:30:59 UTC
i desperately do not want that to be modern love.

but perhaps that's why crafting this has been so difficult.

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phaedrus17 March 18 2008, 04:10:18 UTC
Denial is also a psychological defense mechanism.

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iamascientist March 18 2008, 04:41:40 UTC
ha nope denied.

after contemplation, that can't be modern love because it's not love at all. and relationships without love certainly aren't something modern.

so back to the drawing board...

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phaedrus17 March 18 2008, 06:59:59 UTC
You return to my original point. Isn't "modern love" paradoxical?

Relationships without love are modern, they just aren't new. Relationships are usually built on something other than love. People call it love, and they'd like to believe that that's what it is, but that's not what it is. Self-deception is key to thinking you're happy, isn't it?

I think my point is that modern love isn't love. "Modern love" is some conglomeration of concepts that have very little to do with whatever the fuck love is supposed to be.

Of course, I remain a cynic and a pessimist. I'm pretty sure love is up there with cold fusion and world peace on the list of things that humans have never had and will never get. I'm sure there's some definition of modern love that actually sounds kind of nice, and I'm guessing that's what you're looking to write about.

I'm going to stick with "denial" as my diagnosis of your views on this issue. I'm halfway through a psychology course, that basically makes me a certified professional, right?

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iamascientist March 18 2008, 12:45:09 UTC
so there's absolutely no love in the modern world?

impossible.

and i am all the way through my psychology course so bam! professional speaking.

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phaedrus17 March 18 2008, 17:48:13 UTC
Not impossible at all. There are no unicorns in the modern world, either. And probably no god.

But what I'm saying is that even if it does exist, no one's going to recognize it as such. "Modern love" just means the popular view of love in the modern world, which is a figment of people's imaginations. The "real deal" just isn't around to be observed or understood, so you have to work with that empty ideal in people's heads. Because unfortunately, that's probably the most real that modern love will ever get.

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iamascientist March 18 2008, 19:41:14 UTC
is there at least an interesting spin you'd like to throw on this?

even if boohoo there is no love, you at least have to be able to do something fun with it or who cares?

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phaedrus17 March 18 2008, 22:27:25 UTC
Hey, I'm not the one writing the paper. I'm just offering an opinion here.

The interesting spin is in examining the idea of love and the various things that people try to replace it with. The argument is that paradoxically, people generally take their fears, hatred, unhappiness, self-loathing, and uncertainty, tie it up in a big knot, find someone that it crystallizes in, and call the resulting emotion towards that person love. And love is supposed to be the infinitely positive force that knows no bounds or limits. It's so ironic it melts in your mouth.

I'm exaggerating, of course, but if you boil it down, that's the basic case of normal people "falling in love" in the modern world. I think it's amusing, don't you?

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iamascientist March 19 2008, 03:10:44 UTC
i still don't think there's anything definitively modern about that though.

maybe just that women can trick themselves into falling in love to make themselves feel better with more freedom these days?

meh.

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phaedrus17 March 19 2008, 04:51:00 UTC
Just women? I think you're giving males more credit than we deserve.

Meh indeed.

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iamascientist March 19 2008, 05:00:48 UTC
well historically men have had more of an option to take what they "want"

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phaedrus17 March 19 2008, 23:31:56 UTC
I was focusing on the "trick themselves into falling in love to make themselves feel better" part. But you're right.

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phaedrus17 March 20 2008, 18:28:59 UTC
Also, it's not "boohoo there is no love," it's something closer to "Ah, I see. Now that that's cleared up, we can finally move on to the is-ought problem, global warming, and getting rid of Fox News. And maybe breakfast after that."

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