Happy New Year!
I think I'm awake enough to write this...
Last night: Two parties, twice the fun and excitement. Let the wackiness ensue!
(Sidebar: I'm doing this on the upstairs computer again, which is not a laptop. I have the keyboard in my lap, which is fine, except that I keep wanting to use the trackpad to move the cursor and whatnot, and it's not there. Dang it.)
Party #1 was held by Dan and Brian, two friends of mine from college. They are twins, and despite numerous attempts to kill each other while in school, apparently they get along well enough that they're sharing a townhouse nearby. They're not in my town, but they're in the next one over, still in the same township. Yes, I'm babbling. Anyway, it's new, it's really nice, and I am highly impressed. Yay for them.
Dan was the official greeter, so he showed us around. It's a typical townhouse, but it has a vaulted ceiling and a basement with a walk-out porch and a deck off the dining area. The boys done good. It was also nicely decorated for the holidays. I've been to their parents' house at Christmastime and it was the same way. Speaking of parents, their mom was there. She's looking really good, and she kept cracking us up. Some people's parents are a drag, and some people's parents are cool. She'd definitely in the latter group.
I managed to drag Laura to the party. She's heard about some of these people for years, so it was about time she met them. She seemed to get along well with everyone (yay!) and had something in common with both the boys: They've all been in banking at some point. So that got Laura and Brian talking for a while. We were down in the basement for a while (I'll get to that in a minute), and when we went upstairs we ran into Jen, another friend. We stood in the kitchen and talked for a while, and Jen and Brian both asked if Laura went to school with us. No, she's a friend of mine from work. Both of them thought she looked really familiar. Quite strange. But okay.
The basement had two areas. Toward the front was some exercise equipment; to the back, a card table (as in tournament poker, not cheesy garage sale foldable) and a pool table. Laura and I went down to where Brian and Carrie, another NCC alum, were playing against Dan and his girlfriend, Katie. Dan was the greeter, so once that game finished he went upstairs for a while. Laura and Carrie and I sat at the table and watched people play pool--first Brian and Katie (I think they finished the first game, maybe?), then Brian by himself, then Mom came (that's what I'll call her) and played with Katie, and finally Mom played Jay, the boyfriend of Dan's coworker Gail. Phew! So we sat and talked and more people came down. Some of them I've never met; some of them I haven't seen in a while. One of them--I won't say who--was very much Debbie Downer-esque, but the conversation would turn and we'd be on happier subjects soon enough. My friend Christi came by, too, and stood and talked to me for a while. She was one of my music class cohorts but she left school during her sophomore year. Both she and Brian were music ed, and neither of them are teaching. The irony of life. Gotta love it.
Our conversations ranged from work stories to random stuff. Laura, I believe, was the one who mentioned some girl who took to wearing a tiara constantly. Brian declared 2005 to be the Year of the Tiara; pick them up with your IPass at Jewel today! (IPass: Electronic toll system in Illinois. They've been very popular as of late because there was a toll increase at 12:01 this morning. Paying cash at the tolls? Your fees doubled. Have an IPass? Your fees stayed the same. Hence, a lot of people picked up an IPass.) Later, Christi mentioned that her sister got married a few weeks ago. Gail said something about her sister getting married, too, and how the Princess made her attendants not only wear strapless gowns in the middle of winter, but had them take a horse-drawn carriage ride after the ceremony. Brr... I think Gail then said to Mom, aw, you'll not get to be the mother of the bride, and Mom countered with, not unless there's something one of the boys isn't telling me. We looked over at Brian and started joking about him in a wedding gown wearing a tiara. He was not pleased.
Once that last pool game was finished (and definitely following the wedding dress/tiara talk), Brian ushered us upstairs to eat some of the bounty people had brought. Man, there was a lot of food. It was yummy, too. So then we stood around and talked for a little while and ate, and Mom had brought "Bad Santa" and put that on. Most of the NCC people stayed in the kitchen and talked about former classmates we haven't seen...or, unfortunately, have encountered recently. Yes. Well. *ahem* One of them is someone Jen's known for too great a portion of her life. She always thought he was a little weird, but I believe he has Asperger's, a form of autism. It really makes sense when you think about it. She hadn't heard that term, though, and my pronunciation made it sound like "Assburgers," which of course brings a whole different connotation. If these friends start talking about "ass hamburgers," rest assured it's not some weird sex talk.
Well, it got to be about 10:30, and I had another party to go to, so Laura and I said our goodbyes. I'd been worried about this party, but part of me didn't want to leave. So, yeah, I suppose that was a good thing. Dan went to grab our coats, and Brian came over to say goodbye. We thanked them for inviting us, and Laura said, "It was nice to finally meet you. I've heard about you for a while now."
Brian: "Ah, so my reputation preceded me!"
Laura: "Yes."
Brian: "In that case, I'm surprised you didn't walk up to me and smack me."
Me: "Well, you know, you're mom's here."
Brian: "Are you kidding? She would have been first in line!"
Nice. :)
By now Laura was pretty tired and asked me to drop her off at her car, which was parked at my house. I kept testing her to be sure she didn't want to go to the second party--we'd pass the complex on the way back to my house--but she begged off. Okay. Party pooper. :)
This party was held by my friend Sven, with whom I went to high school. Strangely, we didn't really meet until after we'd both graduated, but I knew who he was, I believe. His brother was in my grade. Anyway. So I didn't get there until about 11, by which time the party was in full swing. Remember, I wasn't exactly sure where he lived, but I remembered enough of his address and the directions from his email that I did okay. Plus, a portion of the party was out on the balcony smoking, so that clued me in, too.
I walked in the door and Sven was pretty much the first person I saw. We went in the kitchen and I dropped off food (I brought pink lemonade, sugar cookies, and sliced loaf cake to both parties), and Sven and I talked for a while. I'd mentioned I might be bringing a friend, so when I didn't show up with Laura, Sven was a little disappointed. (Laura, you WILL have to show up at some future party...although, after some of what I'll write, you may be scared away. You'll have to let me know.) After about ten minutes of the babblings of drunk Sven, which were surprisingly entertaining, I ventured into the living room and sat for a while. That's typically what I do, just sit and listen. I know the people there, but I don't know them that well. I'm not a gamer, I'm not big into sci fi, I don't drink, so I don't do the same things they do. Yet I keep coming. I suppose I'm a glutton for punishment. But they're nice, and they're entertaining, and they seem to miss me when I'm not there, so that's nice for me I suppose. Somebody threw a Halloween party this year and they forgot to tell me about it. Only a couple of people have my contact info, so if they don't tell me I'm in the dark. That's okay. I realize it, so it doesn't bother me.
Okay, so some of the people that were there...
From my high school:
Toad (real name: Dan) (no, I don't know why he's called Toad...I'm sure I asked when I first met him, but that was many years ago); Dave and his girlfriend Karen; Aaron and his girlfriend Renee; Sven, of course.
From U of I (where like half of my high school went to college):
Erik and his girlfriend Molly; Rob and his girlfriend Grace. I think these two guys, Dan and Andy, also went to U of I, but I'm not sure. Dan works across the hall from me at the mall. Yes, this is how much I get out at the mall; I can't even recognize somebody who works there and frequents my store. Karen worked with Dan for the holidays.
There were some other people there, but I don't know them and they left not long after I got there. I believe these are all the people that stayed past midnight.
Apparently they don't let Andy get drunk much. He does some wacky stuff. I kid you not, he was dancing with one of the speakers. Renee got pictures. Best quote at that point: Sven yelling at Andy, "My speaker does not have a vagina!" (Laura, you still with me?)
I am a geeky-nerdy type of person. I am also like a little kid. Consequently, when it nears midnight on New Year's Eve, I'm wondering when we're going to do the countdown. Sven saw me looking at my watch and was like, quit it, but I said, it's close to midnight. When are we going to do the countdown? I was not the only person to think that, so everyone pulled out watches and cell phones to check the time. It was like being in college; everyone had a different time. Finally Sven just randomly counted down and we cheered. Yay. Some of the girls grabbed noisemakers. There were a bunch of poppers on the table, and I ended up doing most of those. I did clean up all the plastic holders, but the inner streamers and tops were left scattered all over the floor. Sorry Sven. Although they were fun to pick up and throw at people. At one point Rob was nearby holding a ball of streamers and he tossed it into my cup on the second try. I flipped it right back to him. There was also a box of plastic leis on the table, so Renee and Sven cracked that open and almost everyone got lei'd. Heh heh heh. The boys doth protested at anything but blue or green.
(College: Every building had its own time zone, with a difference of as much as ten minutes. Our humor magazine did a wonderful article on it once.)
At some point near midnight, Aaron took Renee out onto the balcony, alone, and proposed to her. About ten minutes after midnight, they called a toast and rounded everyone into the living room and thanked everyone for coming (we were like, okay, but isn't it Sven's party?), and this and that, and then Renee held up her left hand and said, we're engaged! Some of the guys already knew--Aaron had asked Sven weeks in advance if it was okay to do it at the party--and some of the girls figured it out. I didn't. Luckily for Aaron, Renee had no idea, either. So there was much congratulatoriness (yes, that is now a word) and hugging, and then the phone calls began. Before Renee could call her parents, Erik and Rob were calling friends from school to let them know. When Renee had called her mom and dad, she started calling friends, too. Many of the calls went like this: "Hi, so-and-so, happy new year! I'm doing good...I got engaged! Yes! To Aaron! Yes, I said yes!" Seriously, like every phone call was like that. With the guys, flip the names around. That went on for at least an hour, on and off. The big joke after the engagement was that Aaron and Renee were no longer just "living in sin," they were living in sin with a purpose. I think they've lived together for a couple of years. I've known Aaron for a long time, since high school band, so I'm glad he's found someone who makes him happy. And Renee's pretty cool, so lots of yays all around.
As they were making phone calls, the party itself kind of stopped temporarily. I took my chance to use the potty. Well, um, when you're dealing with people who are on the tipsy side...and who may not be able to make the hole in the toilet on the first try...um, it's generally best to look at the toilet seat before you sit down. Unfortunately, this is one of those lessons learned the hard way. And not only was it just a little bit wet, the whole seat was soaked. Ewwww. Of course, by that time I was already sitting in it, and I still had to pee, so I just sat there. I did manage to get it in the hole, thank you very much. Then the cleanup commenced. I think I used a half a roll of toilet paper between wiping off the seat and wiping off my seat. Surprisingly, it all went down the drain with one flush, and I didn't clog the toilet. Sven, that's a plus you'll have to share with the rental office. I thought I had cleaned it up pretty well, but a little while later Sven mentioned something about someone completely missing the hole, too; that's when I told my little story. I hadn't wanted to mention it during the party, maybe as an aside afterward, but I wanted Sven to know that it would be a good idea to clean his toilet seat. Yes. Well. *ahem* Then, later still, Karen mentioned that the bathroom was out of toilet paper. Sven was pretty surprised, as the night started off with a full roll. The guys were quick to blame Rob, but I said, no, I used a lot of paper to clean the mess. Erik said, no, I lived with him for a while, it was Rob. Whatever, guys. Sven grabbed out the Sam's Club pack of Quilted Northern and said, "There will be no more running out of toilet paper tonight!" Nice. He also destroyed (his words) his storage closet in the process, knocking out a hard hat, which Karen put on and prompted me to sing the beginning of "YMCA." (Laura, you still with me?)
I forget when exactly this happened, but it was the most uncomfortable I've ever been at one of these parties. Remember: I am a single girl. I am among a bunch of gamer guys who, even if they're not single, still find me interesting. Just call me shark bait. (Laura, I may lose you here.) I haven't known most of these people long, but I've known Dave since freshman year of high school--more than thirteen years. He would wait for the bus and I would wait for my mom in the same hallway, which was where my locker was. I don't think we talked a whole lot--in fact, most of what I remember about that time is him whaling on this guy named Chris, who also waited for a ride in that hall. Also, Sven asked if the icon for this page was me. No, it's Claire Danes (the real Angela Chase), but if I take off my glasses and push back my hair--and if you imagine my hair is darker--it kind of looks like me.
Pictures
Scroll down toward the bottom. When Dave met me, I looked like the 8th grade purple-shirted pics, except my hair was less poodle-y. The reddish background pic below that is how I looked for my last two years in high school, and somewhat still resembles me. (Can you see where people might think the icon is actually me?)
Anyway. If you don't actually know what I look like, or haven't seen me in a while, you may need the pics as a reference. So Dave, who is piss-ass drunk, starts talking about me. And when I say that, he says stuff like, "She is a nice girl with a smokin' hot body." A good four times he starts off saying, "She's a nice girl." For a good, mm, ten minutes he rambles on about how we met and this and that, and I was hot but I didn't know it. (Um, yes, well, that's because I *wasn't* hot, more like dumpy, having lived the previous eight years in a Catholic school uniform and not having either everyday fashion sense or a wardrobe. I seriously wore the same three or four outfits over and over again--two turtlenecks, with two over-sweaters, and a sweatshirt. Maybe another shirt would get thrown in there. Add to it that for the first two months of school, before we moved out of the city, I didn't shower on Tuesdays and Thursdays so that I could sleep an extra fifteen minutes before embarking on a long commute with my dad, and no, I really wasn't a looker freshman year.) Dave said all these things that he'd never said before about how hot he thinks I am and basically at any point in time, he is available to me. All the while Karen, his girlfriend, is sitting right next to him. Oh, my dear lord. It was clear that I was uncomfortable--my face about matched the red lei hanging around my neck--and Karen definitely wasn't upset with me. Who knows if Dave made it home in one piece, though. Anyway, so after his long-winded speech (that Karen summed up as, you're nice, you're hot), the guys in the room started to agree with him! As in, they all thought I was hot, and they'd all do me if they had the chance. Holy schnitzel on a stick. Seriously, I think I'm cute, like girl-next-door cute, but hot? Um, no. Smokin'? Definitely not. And I was royally amazed that these random guys I hardly knew were like, I'd do her. Then...the girls started chiming in! Oy. Yes. So, basically, if I wanted to hook up with anyone in the room, I could have. Never mind that most of them were seeing people who were also in the room, and I am not like that. (Um, Laura? Are you out there? Please come back! I need someone who doesn't want to jump my bones in my corner.)
Thank God eventually the subject turned away from me. I was just sitting there, minding my own business, really. One of the other topics involved the cradle-robbers of the group. I'd always figured I was one of the older folks there, which is fine, and I'd thought Sven was the oldest guy. Last year he was seeing this girl who was 18 and he was/is 28...a ten-year difference. But Sven isn't seeing her anymore, so the torch has been passed to Rob and Grace. I thought Rob was a few years younger than me, but I've only met him a couple of times before last night. In discussing people's ages, Sven asked Grace, "How old are you?" "Nineteen," she responded. Several people were like, see, a twelve-year age difference! Grace was like, "Age is nothing but a number!" Okay, fine. When Rob got back in the room they asked him to confirm his age. "Thirty-one," he said. Whoa. Okay. But, yeah, dude...that's a cradle-robber if we ever saw one. Wear the crown proudly. Never mind that that's the age difference between me and my oldest students...ew...
The party wound down around two, when Sven was falling asleep in his chair and some people were saying they had to work in the morning. Yeah, that'll be fun. Ha ha, it's a Saturday so I don't have to work. I get tomorrow.
(BTW, it took me a couple hours to type this up. I get verbose when I'm in a half-asleep state.)
Last night: Two parties, twice the fun and excitement. Let the wackiness ensue!
(Sidebar: I'm doing this on the upstairs computer again, which is not a laptop. I have the keyboard in my lap, which is fine, except that I keep wanting to use the trackpad to move the cursor and whatnot, and it's not there. Dang it.)
Party #1 was held by Dan and Brian, two friends of mine from college. They are twins, and despite numerous attempts to kill each other while in school, apparently they get along well enough that they're sharing a townhouse nearby. They're not in my town, but they're in the next one over, still in the same township. Yes, I'm babbling. Anyway, it's new, it's really nice, and I am highly impressed. Yay for them.
Dan was the official greeter, so he showed us around. It's a typical townhouse, but it has a vaulted ceiling and a basement with a walk-out porch and a deck off the dining area. The boys done good. It was also nicely decorated for the holidays. I've been to their parents' house at Christmastime and it was the same way. Speaking of parents, their mom was there. She's looking really good, and she kept cracking us up. Some people's parents are a drag, and some people's parents are cool. She'd definitely in the latter group.
I managed to drag Laura to the party. She's heard about some of these people for years, so it was about time she met them. She seemed to get along well with everyone (yay!) and had something in common with both the boys: They've all been in banking at some point. So that got Laura and Brian talking for a while. We were down in the basement for a while (I'll get to that in a minute), and when we went upstairs we ran into Jen, another friend. We stood in the kitchen and talked for a while, and Jen and Brian both asked if Laura went to school with us. No, she's a friend of mine from work. Both of them thought she looked really familiar. Quite strange. But okay.
The basement had two areas. Toward the front was some exercise equipment; to the back, a card table (as in tournament poker, not cheesy garage sale foldable) and a pool table. Laura and I went down to where Brian and Carrie, another NCC alum, were playing against Dan and his girlfriend, Katie. Dan was the greeter, so once that game finished he went upstairs for a while. Laura and Carrie and I sat at the table and watched people play pool--first Brian and Katie (I think they finished the first game, maybe?), then Brian by himself, then Mom came (that's what I'll call her) and played with Katie, and finally Mom played Jay, the boyfriend of Dan's coworker Gail. Phew! So we sat and talked and more people came down. Some of them I've never met; some of them I haven't seen in a while. One of them--I won't say who--was very much Debbie Downer-esque, but the conversation would turn and we'd be on happier subjects soon enough. My friend Christi came by, too, and stood and talked to me for a while. She was one of my music class cohorts but she left school during her sophomore year. Both she and Brian were music ed, and neither of them are teaching. The irony of life. Gotta love it.
Our conversations ranged from work stories to random stuff. Laura, I believe, was the one who mentioned some girl who took to wearing a tiara constantly. Brian declared 2005 to be the Year of the Tiara; pick them up with your IPass at Jewel today! (IPass: Electronic toll system in Illinois. They've been very popular as of late because there was a toll increase at 12:01 this morning. Paying cash at the tolls? Your fees doubled. Have an IPass? Your fees stayed the same. Hence, a lot of people picked up an IPass.) Later, Christi mentioned that her sister got married a few weeks ago. Gail said something about her sister getting married, too, and how the Princess made her attendants not only wear strapless gowns in the middle of winter, but had them take a horse-drawn carriage ride after the ceremony. Brr... I think Gail then said to Mom, aw, you'll not get to be the mother of the bride, and Mom countered with, not unless there's something one of the boys isn't telling me. We looked over at Brian and started joking about him in a wedding gown wearing a tiara. He was not pleased.
Once that last pool game was finished (and definitely following the wedding dress/tiara talk), Brian ushered us upstairs to eat some of the bounty people had brought. Man, there was a lot of food. It was yummy, too. So then we stood around and talked for a little while and ate, and Mom had brought "Bad Santa" and put that on. Most of the NCC people stayed in the kitchen and talked about former classmates we haven't seen...or, unfortunately, have encountered recently. Yes. Well. *ahem* One of them is someone Jen's known for too great a portion of her life. She always thought he was a little weird, but I believe he has Asperger's, a form of autism. It really makes sense when you think about it. She hadn't heard that term, though, and my pronunciation made it sound like "Assburgers," which of course brings a whole different connotation. If these friends start talking about "ass hamburgers," rest assured it's not some weird sex talk.
Well, it got to be about 10:30, and I had another party to go to, so Laura and I said our goodbyes. I'd been worried about this party, but part of me didn't want to leave. So, yeah, I suppose that was a good thing. Dan went to grab our coats, and Brian came over to say goodbye. We thanked them for inviting us, and Laura said, "It was nice to finally meet you. I've heard about you for a while now."
Brian: "Ah, so my reputation preceded me!"
Laura: "Yes."
Brian: "In that case, I'm surprised you didn't walk up to me and smack me."
Me: "Well, you know, you're mom's here."
Brian: "Are you kidding? She would have been first in line!"
Nice. :)
By now Laura was pretty tired and asked me to drop her off at her car, which was parked at my house. I kept testing her to be sure she didn't want to go to the second party--we'd pass the complex on the way back to my house--but she begged off. Okay. Party pooper. :)
This party was held by my friend Sven, with whom I went to high school. Strangely, we didn't really meet until after we'd both graduated, but I knew who he was, I believe. His brother was in my grade. Anyway. So I didn't get there until about 11, by which time the party was in full swing. Remember, I wasn't exactly sure where he lived, but I remembered enough of his address and the directions from his email that I did okay. Plus, a portion of the party was out on the balcony smoking, so that clued me in, too.
I walked in the door and Sven was pretty much the first person I saw. We went in the kitchen and I dropped off food (I brought pink lemonade, sugar cookies, and sliced loaf cake to both parties), and Sven and I talked for a while. I'd mentioned I might be bringing a friend, so when I didn't show up with Laura, Sven was a little disappointed. (Laura, you WILL have to show up at some future party...although, after some of what I'll write, you may be scared away. You'll have to let me know.) After about ten minutes of the babblings of drunk Sven, which were surprisingly entertaining, I ventured into the living room and sat for a while. That's typically what I do, just sit and listen. I know the people there, but I don't know them that well. I'm not a gamer, I'm not big into sci fi, I don't drink, so I don't do the same things they do. Yet I keep coming. I suppose I'm a glutton for punishment. But they're nice, and they're entertaining, and they seem to miss me when I'm not there, so that's nice for me I suppose. Somebody threw a Halloween party this year and they forgot to tell me about it. Only a couple of people have my contact info, so if they don't tell me I'm in the dark. That's okay. I realize it, so it doesn't bother me.
Okay, so some of the people that were there...
From my high school:
Toad (real name: Dan) (no, I don't know why he's called Toad...I'm sure I asked when I first met him, but that was many years ago); Dave and his girlfriend Karen; Aaron and his girlfriend Renee; Sven, of course.
From U of I (where like half of my high school went to college):
Erik and his girlfriend Molly; Rob and his girlfriend Grace. I think these two guys, Dan and Andy, also went to U of I, but I'm not sure. Dan works across the hall from me at the mall. Yes, this is how much I get out at the mall; I can't even recognize somebody who works there and frequents my store. Karen worked with Dan for the holidays.
There were some other people there, but I don't know them and they left not long after I got there. I believe these are all the people that stayed past midnight.
Apparently they don't let Andy get drunk much. He does some wacky stuff. I kid you not, he was dancing with one of the speakers. Renee got pictures. Best quote at that point: Sven yelling at Andy, "My speaker does not have a vagina!" (Laura, you still with me?)
I am a geeky-nerdy type of person. I am also like a little kid. Consequently, when it nears midnight on New Year's Eve, I'm wondering when we're going to do the countdown. Sven saw me looking at my watch and was like, quit it, but I said, it's close to midnight. When are we going to do the countdown? I was not the only person to think that, so everyone pulled out watches and cell phones to check the time. It was like being in college; everyone had a different time. Finally Sven just randomly counted down and we cheered. Yay. Some of the girls grabbed noisemakers. There were a bunch of poppers on the table, and I ended up doing most of those. I did clean up all the plastic holders, but the inner streamers and tops were left scattered all over the floor. Sorry Sven. Although they were fun to pick up and throw at people. At one point Rob was nearby holding a ball of streamers and he tossed it into my cup on the second try. I flipped it right back to him. There was also a box of plastic leis on the table, so Renee and Sven cracked that open and almost everyone got lei'd. Heh heh heh. The boys doth protested at anything but blue or green.
(College: Every building had its own time zone, with a difference of as much as ten minutes. Our humor magazine did a wonderful article on it once.)
At some point near midnight, Aaron took Renee out onto the balcony, alone, and proposed to her. About ten minutes after midnight, they called a toast and rounded everyone into the living room and thanked everyone for coming (we were like, okay, but isn't it Sven's party?), and this and that, and then Renee held up her left hand and said, we're engaged! Some of the guys already knew--Aaron had asked Sven weeks in advance if it was okay to do it at the party--and some of the girls figured it out. I didn't. Luckily for Aaron, Renee had no idea, either. So there was much congratulatoriness (yes, that is now a word) and hugging, and then the phone calls began. Before Renee could call her parents, Erik and Rob were calling friends from school to let them know. When Renee had called her mom and dad, she started calling friends, too. Many of the calls went like this: "Hi, so-and-so, happy new year! I'm doing good...I got engaged! Yes! To Aaron! Yes, I said yes!" Seriously, like every phone call was like that. With the guys, flip the names around. That went on for at least an hour, on and off. The big joke after the engagement was that Aaron and Renee were no longer just "living in sin," they were living in sin with a purpose. I think they've lived together for a couple of years. I've known Aaron for a long time, since high school band, so I'm glad he's found someone who makes him happy. And Renee's pretty cool, so lots of yays all around.
As they were making phone calls, the party itself kind of stopped temporarily. I took my chance to use the potty. Well, um, when you're dealing with people who are on the tipsy side...and who may not be able to make the hole in the toilet on the first try...um, it's generally best to look at the toilet seat before you sit down. Unfortunately, this is one of those lessons learned the hard way. And not only was it just a little bit wet, the whole seat was soaked. Ewwww. Of course, by that time I was already sitting in it, and I still had to pee, so I just sat there. I did manage to get it in the hole, thank you very much. Then the cleanup commenced. I think I used a half a roll of toilet paper between wiping off the seat and wiping off my seat. Surprisingly, it all went down the drain with one flush, and I didn't clog the toilet. Sven, that's a plus you'll have to share with the rental office. I thought I had cleaned it up pretty well, but a little while later Sven mentioned something about someone completely missing the hole, too; that's when I told my little story. I hadn't wanted to mention it during the party, maybe as an aside afterward, but I wanted Sven to know that it would be a good idea to clean his toilet seat. Yes. Well. *ahem* Then, later still, Karen mentioned that the bathroom was out of toilet paper. Sven was pretty surprised, as the night started off with a full roll. The guys were quick to blame Rob, but I said, no, I used a lot of paper to clean the mess. Erik said, no, I lived with him for a while, it was Rob. Whatever, guys. Sven grabbed out the Sam's Club pack of Quilted Northern and said, "There will be no more running out of toilet paper tonight!" Nice. He also destroyed (his words) his storage closet in the process, knocking out a hard hat, which Karen put on and prompted me to sing the beginning of "YMCA." (Laura, you still with me?)
I forget when exactly this happened, but it was the most uncomfortable I've ever been at one of these parties. Remember: I am a single girl. I am among a bunch of gamer guys who, even if they're not single, still find me interesting. Just call me shark bait. (Laura, I may lose you here.) I haven't known most of these people long, but I've known Dave since freshman year of high school--more than thirteen years. He would wait for the bus and I would wait for my mom in the same hallway, which was where my locker was. I don't think we talked a whole lot--in fact, most of what I remember about that time is him whaling on this guy named Chris, who also waited for a ride in that hall. Also, Sven asked if the icon for this page was me. No, it's Claire Danes (the real Angela Chase), but if I take off my glasses and push back my hair--and if you imagine my hair is darker--it kind of looks like me.
Pictures
Scroll down toward the bottom. When Dave met me, I looked like the 8th grade purple-shirted pics, except my hair was less poodle-y. The reddish background pic below that is how I looked for my last two years in high school, and somewhat still resembles me. (Can you see where people might think the icon is actually me?)
Anyway. If you don't actually know what I look like, or haven't seen me in a while, you may need the pics as a reference. So Dave, who is piss-ass drunk, starts talking about me. And when I say that, he says stuff like, "She is a nice girl with a smokin' hot body." A good four times he starts off saying, "She's a nice girl." For a good, mm, ten minutes he rambles on about how we met and this and that, and I was hot but I didn't know it. (Um, yes, well, that's because I *wasn't* hot, more like dumpy, having lived the previous eight years in a Catholic school uniform and not having either everyday fashion sense or a wardrobe. I seriously wore the same three or four outfits over and over again--two turtlenecks, with two over-sweaters, and a sweatshirt. Maybe another shirt would get thrown in there. Add to it that for the first two months of school, before we moved out of the city, I didn't shower on Tuesdays and Thursdays so that I could sleep an extra fifteen minutes before embarking on a long commute with my dad, and no, I really wasn't a looker freshman year.) Dave said all these things that he'd never said before about how hot he thinks I am and basically at any point in time, he is available to me. All the while Karen, his girlfriend, is sitting right next to him. Oh, my dear lord. It was clear that I was uncomfortable--my face about matched the red lei hanging around my neck--and Karen definitely wasn't upset with me. Who knows if Dave made it home in one piece, though. Anyway, so after his long-winded speech (that Karen summed up as, you're nice, you're hot), the guys in the room started to agree with him! As in, they all thought I was hot, and they'd all do me if they had the chance. Holy schnitzel on a stick. Seriously, I think I'm cute, like girl-next-door cute, but hot? Um, no. Smokin'? Definitely not. And I was royally amazed that these random guys I hardly knew were like, I'd do her. Then...the girls started chiming in! Oy. Yes. So, basically, if I wanted to hook up with anyone in the room, I could have. Never mind that most of them were seeing people who were also in the room, and I am not like that. (Um, Laura? Are you out there? Please come back! I need someone who doesn't want to jump my bones in my corner.)
Thank God eventually the subject turned away from me. I was just sitting there, minding my own business, really. One of the other topics involved the cradle-robbers of the group. I'd always figured I was one of the older folks there, which is fine, and I'd thought Sven was the oldest guy. Last year he was seeing this girl who was 18 and he was/is 28...a ten-year difference. But Sven isn't seeing her anymore, so the torch has been passed to Rob and Grace. I thought Rob was a few years younger than me, but I've only met him a couple of times before last night. In discussing people's ages, Sven asked Grace, "How old are you?" "Nineteen," she responded. Several people were like, see, a twelve-year age difference! Grace was like, "Age is nothing but a number!" Okay, fine. When Rob got back in the room they asked him to confirm his age. "Thirty-one," he said. Whoa. Okay. But, yeah, dude...that's a cradle-robber if we ever saw one. Wear the crown proudly. Never mind that that's the age difference between me and my oldest students...ew...
The party wound down around two, when Sven was falling asleep in his chair and some people were saying they had to work in the morning. Yeah, that'll be fun. Ha ha, it's a Saturday so I don't have to work. I get tomorrow.
(BTW, it took me a couple hours to type this up. I get verbose when I'm in a half-asleep state.)