I have found the reason as to why fat people are fat! It's the Mormons!
This is all Dennis Kucinich's fault.
See, if he hadn't dropped out of the presidential race, benchilada would not have made this post about it.
And in that non-post, he wouldn't have made a comment about Mormon garments.
And I wouldn't have clicked on the link and discovered the Common Misconceptions page which, among other things, discusses the garment possibly discouraging masturbation. Which, seriously, made me cry because I found the explanation that funny. (Seriously: "In addition, while mormons believe that masturbation is not an appropriate activity, they learn this in their church classes, not through their underwear." Well, duh. That's why the underwear comes off! But I digress.)
And then I wouldn't have clicked on the link provided regarding overcoming masturbation. I didn't realize this was a serious problem plaguing our young people. Dear Lord, this is just...you have to read it for yourself. But the best part is this:
"6. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, GET OUT OF BED! Go into the kitchen and make a snack, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you GET YOUR MIND ON SOMETHING ELSE. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak."
Eat if you're not hungry to avoid masturbation. This is what the Mormons are telling people to do. And we wonder why there's an obesity problem in America.
See, if he hadn't dropped out of the presidential race, benchilada would not have made this post about it.
And in that non-post, he wouldn't have made a comment about Mormon garments.
And I wouldn't have clicked on the link and discovered the Common Misconceptions page which, among other things, discusses the garment possibly discouraging masturbation. Which, seriously, made me cry because I found the explanation that funny. (Seriously: "In addition, while mormons believe that masturbation is not an appropriate activity, they learn this in their church classes, not through their underwear." Well, duh. That's why the underwear comes off! But I digress.)
And then I wouldn't have clicked on the link provided regarding overcoming masturbation. I didn't realize this was a serious problem plaguing our young people. Dear Lord, this is just...you have to read it for yourself. But the best part is this:
"6. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, GET OUT OF BED! Go into the kitchen and make a snack, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you GET YOUR MIND ON SOMETHING ELSE. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak."
Eat if you're not hungry to avoid masturbation. This is what the Mormons are telling people to do. And we wonder why there's an obesity problem in America.